It was UGLY...

buddy

New Member
OH I see.... still not ok but yes, I agree and truly believe in second and third and more chances if people are really working it. I had a principal who didn't fight us in any way but was not helpful... continually asking me to take my not able to converse son to therapy and to use better medications and to use more appropriate consequences. Turns out she had a difficult child who was suffering mental illness and what worked for them was all of those things along with many visits to the ER. She just couldn't wrap her head around his needs being different, but it was not out of care, it was ignorance and I dont mean that in the mean way... just really didn't understand.
 

susiestar

Roll With It
RM, you ROCK! I have a picture on the first page of every section of the parent reports. I also prefer doctors who take photos of their patients for the files. It helps them keep people straight.

I wish it was possible to beat sense into these people, but it isn't. Sigh. So much for more primal impulses. We have a middle school that up until last year would NOT allow you to come in. They did NOT want volunteers except three days a year and they refused to supervise the hallways at all. My daughter developed early and we were told that the "solution" to the boys trying to stick hands under her clothing (even getting 2 friends to grab and hold her while a 3rd did this) was for her to wear baggier clothing. I showed up with a note from one of her teachers for a meeting one day and was told I had to leave or the school cop (actual city cop assigned there) would ARREST ME. What was my sin? I walked into the office and said "Hi1 I am here to see Mrs. X. Here is the note she sent. Where is the sign in sheet?" Gee, in elem school and high school that is a GOOD thing. Of course this particular batch of idiots also sent a fax that is now framed on the wall of J's neuro's private office. He faxed in a note excusing her because she had a migraine for 7 days straight (the whole shebang incl vomiting which is an automatic no school for 24 hrs according to the district). They sent this LOVELY fax telling his office that they were not really a dr office and they were just friends of mine inventing excuses for her truancy. Then they sent a truant officer to the house. Who she almost barfed on because he tried to drag her out of the bathroom. Then he wanted a drug test because no kid can vomit with-o being on drugs, don'tcha know. Yeah. That didn't happen. At. All. And he never came back after I called the school superintendent and the neuro called the school, chewed them out and sent them a consultation bill for about $400. School tried to say that I owed that $$ and the doctor said NO, the school questioned him and they could either pay for the tongue lashing or they could have him call every paper and wire service that exists, and wouldn't that be just great, esp if the internet got a hold of it.

We pulled her out to homeschool two weeks later because they told us she had to repeat the year because she had too many missed days before the IEP evaluation was done. I could have fought. I even have a letter saying they HAD to do anything I wanted or I would be able to sue and they would not contest or argue based on how this same middle school treated Wiz. But I did NOT want her to have to deal with it all - she had been through enough already. Oh, and the crutches the ortho doctor said she needed were ruled a "nuisance" and they tried to say she couldn't bring them to school. When her knee was messed up because she got hit by a car walking up to the bus at 6 am.

I was TERRIFIED when thank you was going into this year because it is the same school. but it isn't. They are responsive, responsible, and they WANT parents involved. Plus they actually bother to supervise the kids. The lunchroom, which I had seen because the secretary sent me there to talk to the principal, was previously supervised by said principal who was sitting on the stage WITH A MICROPHONE TURNED ON telling dirty jokes to a student teacher who was observing. She was HORRIFIED and he didn't hear his voice booming through the room. Not one joke. I heard three before he saw me. If it had been a movie it would have been funny. But my KID was there.

WHY do schools attract these fools?
 

Marguerite

Active Member
I've been threatened with arrest for trespass. It was not the school, it was the district officials who had a problem with my wanting to be involved in their programs. I found out later that the reason they did not want me there was because they had watered down the program so far that it was utterly useless. The class teacher and the principal went out on a limb and confirmed that I had been there at their invitation. I also used a communication book and the class teacher had written in it, "See you at the session on Wednesday." The district disabilities people actually asked to see this as proof; they were not taking my word for it. So rather than let them get their hands on the book (I didn't know if I would ever get it back) I scanned the relevant page and emailed it in.

I did try to take matters further in my complaints but it was early days for me with this site, I was still discovering just how far we were being mistreated.

And you know what? Recent events with another young student we know, a kid difficult child 3 met at an extracurricular class, have shown me that attitudes have not changed in our district. So I am now, belatedly, putting in the boot at a more senior level. My focuss is not merely punitive, I am taking the line that I want to be part of the solution and help educate the educators on autism. Because they clearly do not get it...

Marg
 

buddy

New Member
OH MY WORD.... I am just so worried..... but if you guys can fight like that so can I.

Talked to attorney again. she talked to a parent who formerly had a child at this school. She asked for the name of a current parent. SO she got a hold of the parent and told her about Q and our visit that is scheduled for tomorrow. This mom said that her child would be exactly perfect for a program like what they are saying this program is... but it is supposed to be in THAT school??? She has never seen such a thing. No one has mentioned it to her when she has asked for alternatives. AND THIS KID IS ALREADY THERE!

Now, I did hear that he had a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) and PTSD. They are saying this program is not EBD and is neurobiological/unique learning needs.... So, maybe that is why they never mentioned it to her...maybe they really can't have EBD kids there??? I just dont know what to believe but I have sent three emails in response to the sp ed coordinator the last one simply saying... N, please contact me with answers to my previous two emails.

The behavior specialist tried to say that they have a district policy etc.... ok they sent me the policy on observations as an attachment to the scheduled time... NO WHERE is there a time limit. Only says to not enter a class after it starts or leave before, not to initiate any communication unless the teacher does etc. NOthing about you can only stay for an hour.

Law advocate says she is curious and wants us to go so we can say we cooperated so now pay for an appropriate program. The superintendent says that he should just go to a different middle school CIP program.

The whole thing is dumb and I am ready to just have him home. He does nothing anyway according to the behavior sheets, all he does is swear and do awful things all day long....

when he is in his "green zone" he is doing nothing so that is why he is in green. It is all too much.
 
T

TeDo

Guest
Hon, only you know when you have the strength to fight and when you need to throw in the towel. I won't try to tell you what to do. I fought and fought and fought. You know that AND you know what ended up happening. I am glad things are working out for difficult child 1 BUT, yes, I have many regrets because that principal is still there playing god and is actually in line for superintendent in a year or two. THAT scares me. Where are other parents/kids after us going to end up. I think about that every day. After all these months, I STILL wonder if I did the right thing. You will always second guess your decision no matter what you do. You REALLY just need to do the pros & cons of every option and see where you end up. Ultimately, what is going to be BEST for Q AND you?

{{{{(((HUGS)))}}}} to you both.
 
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