It Went Well

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Hound dog, Dec 8, 2012.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    At least this post I could think of a title for. LOL

    Katie did not back out. Yay! And easy child came along so it was with all of my girls. We did, however, skip the cemetery this time around........was not exactly what I'd say the right atmosphere for such a get together.

    The GW outlet was an experience, to say the least. A good one as we all found some treasures for a steal. In fact, Kayla now has an entire summer wardrobe for next year for less than 20 bucks and most of them were new clothes (name brand) with the tags still on. Then we went to the Christmas Store and well that place is always fun.

    easy child worried her presence might bother Katie, but I told her that it had to happen some time and Katie needed to see that even easy child doesn't have an "issue" with her as in being mad or holding a grudge or whatever. In fact easy child was very open and we chatted and laughed a LOT on the trip up to Nichole's. Actually, we did a LOT of laughing most of the day. It seems to be that way when we're together just us girls. Katie was thrilled with some down time away from her kids...and biomom......and a whole day was like heaven on earth.

    To see the 4 of us together you'd never dreamed we've just seen each other for the 1st time in a year after a major family rift. It was as if nothing had happened. And this is what I needed Katie to see. This is how real families are......this is how it is when someone loves and cares about you. There can be disagreements of varying degrees, but the family unit continues on once they're worked out. You don't just up and cut off contact with people because they made you mad or hurt your feelings.

    Makes me sad that a whole year was lost, but that is not our fault. That was Katie's decision. But she has to learn how real families work. I'd say "normal" but well with the amount of difficult children in the family I'm not so sure that applies. lol

    Kayla is having issues at school because she doesn't get her homework turned in. Otherwise she is excelling in art and was asked to paint a portion of the school mural and is both super proud and excited about it. Alex is doing very well and according to his last meeting was working on a 3rd grade level at least in math skills. He's not thrilled that now his teacher expects real work out of him. He doesn't think it's fair. (typical difficult child) Evan is loving school this year and doing really well, is even keeping up with the class and reading. He stayed back in kindergarden and it looks as if it was the best thing for him.

    Katie has gained about 20-30 lbs. And while she is now a bit heavy........we were all glad to see it as she looks healthy. It's much better than the near gaunt she was when we last saw her. She didn't seem to have any issues talking and she laughed quite a bit. Used her own money shopping and even said she has the kids xmas nearly finished just some little odds and ends for stockings. Her eyes lit up when she said that.

    I also saw M.......and I did manage to be polite, even friendly. My grandma taught me well. To his credit he was polite as well. I can't say I out right hate the man but he's a pervert and nothing is going to change that. I do not and will never like the fact that my grandchildren share a home with him.

    I don't know what goes on in that house. I don't know for certain the relationship/hold he has on Katie. (I have a very good idea though) But that is Katie's problem, not mine. I can't fix her and I'm not going to try. I just planning on loving her and showing her that the best way I can. Maybe knowing her family loves and supports her regardless will someday give her the confidence to do what she needs to do. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. At soon to be 33 yrs old, Katie is the person she is.......either we love her and accept her or we don't. No one is perfect. I have not walked a mile in her shoes, heck I don't even know what all she's been through, so I have no right to judge.

    That is my new mantra when it comes to Katie. It is what it is. Bottom line is we all need someone to love us for who we are regardless of our faults.

    It was a really nice day all the way around. And now I have "officially" Katie's cell number.......because Nichole and I'll be calling her for get togethers in the near future. :)
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    ...I'd say more but I'm feeding a Meg so typing one handed lol!
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    You're a wise lady. I'm thrilled your day went so well.
  4. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    What a wonderful day! I'm so glad she didn't back out, and that it went so well. I think its great that you all just laughed and shopped and chatted without looking back. Sometimes it just needs to be that way, somehow it can be easier in certain situations. Hopefully she will have enjoyed the day so much that it will remind her of what she is missing out on with all of you, and be more receptive. Good sign that she gave her cell number for future get togethers. I also think your attitude about taking her as she is, is the one that will bring you peace, regardless of Katie's future decisions. I liked reading that she nearly finished her kiddos gift shopping, and that she seemed proud. She should be, it wasn't long ago that it wouldn't have been really on her radar, let alone planned and executed. This totally made my day (well night, it's stupid o'clock here).
  5. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Sounds like the day was the best present you could have given yourselves...
  6. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So glad you all had a good time!
  7. Hopeless

    Hopeless ....Hopeful Now

    Yay :). Sounds like a fun girl day was had by all.

    Lisa you are a very wise and caring person!!
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I'd say that yesteray was Christmas Day for you! How wonderful to read such a positive, wise and loving post..thank you for sharing with us! It's been a few years since my bios and I have been alone together for awhile and amazingly the spontaneous laughter the four of us can share propels us all back to happier less complicated and more loving times that we shared. I read your post with a smile as I full well know how those rare moments erase past pain. Hugs DDD
  9. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I love girl time and laughter, you're right. That's what it's all about in the end. Ongoing and unconditional love even with all the drama. Very happy for you!
  10. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Truly awesome.....
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I sure as heck don't feel very "wise". It took me a very long time to get to this point with katie. If I were "wise" I probably would've saved myself much heartache and trouble and reached this point much quicker. lol

    And yes, I believe I got my xmas early. Christmas day will be fun, but hectic and between cooking and trying to make a little time with each know how it is. And I have 3 grandkids I don't know that I'll see before then.

    Another promising note I forgot to add........... I told Katie how the crochet circle meets. Her face got bright and she said she'd love to come. So that is twice a month at the very least we'll be spending time together. :)
  12. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    That's an excellent update and post. You all needed that, especially Katie.
  13. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    "Laughter is the best medicine", I don't know who originally coined that phrase but it is so true and I think everyone needs some really good laughter in their life at least once a day if possible! I'm so glad it went well and Katie did not back out. I really enjoy reading your posts about your family, especially when you speak about your grand kids too. You get all "lit up" and sparkly. I can see just how much they ALL mean to you as well as your furkids. To have something in your life that means as much as you do is so special.

    Thank you for sharing your life with us! :)
  14. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ok, you all can laugh at me, then. lol The girl has my cell number......... I've been texting her for over an hour. I am not a techie person. Heck I don't even like to talk on my cell let alone text on the darn thing. I'm having troubles reading her texts and lord knows more trouble replying to them. ugh

    Can someone explain why this is better than just dialing the number and actually talking to me??? Cuz I soooooo don't get it. lol
  15. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Easier to say things via text. You don't have to look the other person in the eye... No tone of voice... And hey, it's communication!!!
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    Glad you had a wonderful family day!
  17. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    One explanation is: She can text you without M overhearing her.
    Teens love texting for just that reason - phone calls can be eavesdropped, not texts.

    And yes - txtng is an art - and a whole new language.
    TTYL (talk to you later)
  18. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    texting can be immediate feedback as well. As in right this minute I am thinking this, I need to know this, etc...or before you forget something you put it in text. It allows the receiver to get back to you on their time as well when a phone call may not come at an appropriate time. While it can take the "emotions" out of the conversation (other then the use of emoticons), and allows for impersonal conversations, it also allows for difficult conversations to occur that might not otherwise occur too at times. It can also provide security for those anxiety ridden that you are "there" at the other end much differently then a telephone call can. There is actually many reasons text is valuable and different then a telephone call and why it's so big in use. Also, texting is easy to get out of, unlike a telephone call. You know the kind you can't get off the phone at times?

    Just some more food for thought.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Ditto. Calling places unintentioned demands on the receiver of the call. Texting can be read and responded to when the receiver is alone and ready to respond. Too frequent calls or too frequent texts seem controlling. Yeah, I know how you feel. Hugs DDD
  20. What a joyous and uplifting post! I'm so glad that Katie did not back out and that you all had a wonderful, bargain and laughter-filled day together. Sounds almost perfect!

    Promising sign that she gave you her cell number.

    Thank you for sharing!