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Substance Abuse
It's a stalemate
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<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 564083" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>I agree with TL. We have kicked our difficult child out several times and it did not lead to a sudden recovery just because she had to make it on her own. I wish it was that easy. Factors like mental illness may get in the way of their being able to be self-sufficient. Also, with the current state of the economy, it might not be so easy to find a job that will provide enough income for him to be on his own.</p><p></p><p>You do have to do something different to shake up his world and it may come down to kicking him out. My advice is to set a realistic deadline of getting a job and start paying rent. You could put it away in a savings account and give it to him at some point when he is ready to move out so he can pay first month's rent and get utilities turned on. I wouldn't tell him that, though.</p><p></p><p>If he does not get a job or refuses to pay rent, then you need to be ready to kick him out. Just a word of warning, though. Depending on what state you live in, you may have to go through an eviction process even if he is not paying rent. We found that out the hard way.</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the CD community and keep posting! We are hear to listen and support you in whatever decision you make. We all have different experiences and opinions so take what you think is helpful and ignore the rest.</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 564083, member: 1967"] I agree with TL. We have kicked our difficult child out several times and it did not lead to a sudden recovery just because she had to make it on her own. I wish it was that easy. Factors like mental illness may get in the way of their being able to be self-sufficient. Also, with the current state of the economy, it might not be so easy to find a job that will provide enough income for him to be on his own. You do have to do something different to shake up his world and it may come down to kicking him out. My advice is to set a realistic deadline of getting a job and start paying rent. You could put it away in a savings account and give it to him at some point when he is ready to move out so he can pay first month's rent and get utilities turned on. I wouldn't tell him that, though. If he does not get a job or refuses to pay rent, then you need to be ready to kick him out. Just a word of warning, though. Depending on what state you live in, you may have to go through an eviction process even if he is not paying rent. We found that out the hard way. Welcome to the CD community and keep posting! We are hear to listen and support you in whatever decision you make. We all have different experiences and opinions so take what you think is helpful and ignore the rest. ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
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It's a stalemate
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