It's Always Fun Here At The Janna House LOL!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Janna, Feb 12, 2007.

  1. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Just some brief updates. I have gotten a couple of really sweet emails from you guys, so I wanted to update so nobody is concerned (which makes me feel so good about coming here).

    Thanks to all you guys for your concern, good thoughts and positive emails. I really do love you guys.

    Start with the youngest and work up? It's been a busy week or two.

    easy child started the Adderall XR 5 mg tabs. Not really seeing much result. psychiatrist said to trial him on two tabs on a Saturday to see if there was any improvement. Did that this Saturday, saw nothing. Seems, if anything, to be making him more aggressive. Alot more "hands on", inappropriate hands (i.e. hitting), etc. I am not happy with the result. I was, however, elated on the 18 mg. Concerta, which is what I think we are going to be taking him back to. Everyone but the teacher was happy with him on this medication/dose. The babysitter had nothing but good words, and the therapist claimed to see "no ADHD behaviors" from him while on this medication. I am going to get him a TSS for school only, I think. We have an appointment with a psychologist this week. I don't see the purpose of that, when we have a diagnosis from an MD psychiatrist, but the psychologist is required for Wrap. Whatever. Otherwise, he seems to be doing well (everywhere but school).

    Dylan is doing FANTASTIC!!!! :smile: His regular teacher was out for 2 weeks for surgery, so you know what the aide did? Started sending home all this homework! Haha! She told Dylan - "your mom asked for homework, so we're sending it". Oooooooo, he didn't like that at first :rofl: Know what though? He's advancing in his math. He was doing triple digit multiplication today. He couldn't do ANY multiplication 2 months ago. So, for the last 2 weeks, he's been doing about 30-45 mins of homework per night. And you know what? HE DOES IT! It's been wonderful. Only one little problem. They started playing this recorder in music. It's like a plastic clarinet/flute type thingy. No reed, though. Anyway, Dylan's not getting it. The notes. He's trying to play it by sound rather than following the notes. He's getting frustrated. Not wanting to go to music. The teacher said as long as he shows a good attempt, he'll get a good grade. I'm trying to get the good attempt part out of him, not much luck LOL! Still working on it. If that's the largest of my problems, life really isn't that bad. Still NO rages since January of 2006. It's been a year. Can we say PRAISE THE LORD, LITHIUM CARBONATE!!!!!!!! ? Ha :rofl:

    difficult child 2. I have struggled. There has been new developments. The current foster, which would be his 5th, he's only been there 3 months, has asked he be removed. He is "too much" for her, whatever that means. We have a meeting with CPS on Thursday. I am requesting he comes home. He, on his own, typed up a letter to the judge. He has on there chores he wants to do, consequences for inappropriate behaviors, rules, etc. He did this all on his own, without help from me, and signed it. He included SO in the letter, stating he would obey OUR rules, not mine, which to me, was important. He seems to be making a valid attempt. I think his reunification is going to be difficult. I think he is going to give us problems. My biggest issue is, I did not have him taken from me. I had him PLACED to get help. In all the years, nobody has helped him. They just keep transferring him from foster to foster. They will not put him into Residential Treatment Center (RTC). They are looking for a new foster. I am not okay with this. So, we will hold on tight, pray hard, and hope for the best. He is well aware we will not tolerate inappropriate behaviors. Those that require outside assistance (i.e. police) will be called upon immediately. Theft is not tolerated. Abuse is not tolerated. He can go back out as fast as he came back in. The decision is up to him. We will pray.

    So, that's it from the mountains here. Nothing too exciting, I guess.

    Janna
     
  2. amy4129

    amy4129 New Member

    How about a cyber aunt that's only 4 hours away with a "Baaaaddd attitude" Praying as well.
    Amy
     
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Praying for the best for you, Janna, as always.
     
  4. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Wow Janna! Sounds as if the younger two are doing great! (or will be once the medications are tweaked with easy child) Great job to Dylan for his multiplication and rage less year!!! :bravo: While still sounding concerned about difficult child 2, you sound considerably less stressed than you did the other day. :smile:

    I do have to say though that I am impressed with the contents of difficult child 2's letter to the judge and his inclusion of SO. Whether he abides by it remains to be seen of course, but still, impressive. Hopefully things will work out through the court system so that this system can at least be attempted.

    Like I said though, you sound MUCH better. Glad to hear it! :flower: Yay for you!

    Beads will be rattling here for your meeting on Thursday. I do have to wonder though, like you, what "he's too much for the FM" means. But as I said, still impressed wih the letter. Not that you would, but if he comes home just remember to stick to your guns with the rules/conditions of his living there. Let us know what happens!
     
  5. KateM

    KateM Member

    Never a dull moment in those mountains, eh?!

    Wow, over a year without a meltdown ! Way To Go Dylan, Mom and Lithium!

    From what you've written, it does seem like 18 mg of Concerta was the most helpful for easy child. Maybe the teacher can make some accomadations/ modifications in the class , so easy child have more success in class.

    I'm sure this rollercoaster ride with difficult child 2 has been a struggle.It's great that he wrote all these things on his own! Add me to those praying for a successful reunification.
     
  6. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    You do sound much less stressed than you have been. I can only imagine how frustrating it is to be hand your child over for the help he needs only to see nothing happen.

    I will be keeping good thoughts for you and yours.
     
  7. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I can't imagine how unsettling it is for difficult child and for the family to have difficult child 2 being uprooted all the time. I hope things even out once he comes home but I'm sure you are planning for all options.

    It's wonderful to see how well difficult child 1 is doing. I can't believe how much of a turn around has happened.

    It's a good update. Thanks.
     
  8. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Sending good vibes and cyber thoughts your way.

    Congrats to you and Dylan. An amazing accomplishment
     
  9. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Janna

    Wow!!! easy child and Dylan are doing wonderfully! Way to go with the homework and Math!!! :bravo:

    As for difficult child 2, I keep you in my prayers it works out well for you both.

    Hugs
     
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janna,
    I'm glad to hear Dylan is doing so well-a year without a meltdown-how cool is that?

    Saying prayers right along with you for difficult child 2's situation. Many hugs.
     
  11. oceans

    oceans New Member

    Janna- it is good to hear that progress is being made, and I will hope and pray for you that difficult child 2 will try and abide by the rules. It sounds like he really wants to be home, and you are taking a big step in giving it a try. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  12. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Janna,

    Sounds like you took your time away from here to think things through regarding difficult child 2.

    All I can say is please please please have a crisis plan in place. difficult child 2 is very sincere in his wish to be home; very sincere in his desire to fit in; however, what is his game plan when pushed too far or feeling stressed? Does he have an outlet to work off his anxieties or anger?

    Thinking out loud for you here. You've probably thought this through many times over - I don't want to come across as insulting.

    I'm glad that your other boys are doing so well.
     
  13. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    OK, Janna - fingers, toes, everything crossed.

    Marg
     
  14. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Janna,

    I can't believe you have been here over a year and Dylan has been one year without raging. What an accomplishment :bravo: It's not just the medications, it's the whole package - hard work on everyone's part.

    I believe you have made the right decision regarding difficult child 2. While it is the scariest and most challenging option, the last years in foster care have done nothing. Perhaps being back in the heart of his family will do what noone else could get close to.

    You sound much better and resolved than you sounded a week or so ago. Keep us posted.

    Hugs,
    Sharon
     
  15. kris

    kris New Member

    <span style="color: #990000">you certainly do sound less stressed. wonderful.

    if you are not seeing behavioral issues with-easy child when on the concerta what exactly is the teacher's issue??? is she perhaps expecting a more flattened personality from easy child & she's not getting it?? that's not what the medications are supposed to do anyway!

    as for difficult child 2 ~~~ that's the term for he's giving them a very difficult time. truthfully it's not uncommon for teens to get shifted frequently when they are in care. they give the foster parents a hard time, they get shifted....then they give the next foster placement a hard time because they got shifted....then they keep giving people a hard time to prove just how tough they really are & that they can *break* the best foster parents in the system. it's a vicious cycle.

    i hope he is sincere in his desire to be reunited with-his family, but linda is right. you MUST have a crisis plan in place. you also need to speak to the agency honchos about what will happen if he requires placement again.

    glad to see you back here.

    kris </span>
     
  16. Janna

    Janna New Member

    Linda, will be getting in touch with you this week, probably. We have the CPS meeting on Thursday. Until I know with certainty they are going to let him come home, I don't want to make too many plans, but I am sure I would value your input.

    Kris, no clue about the teacher. She was perfectly happy when he was on the 27 mg. Concerta because he was comatose in her room. His eyes were so glassy he looked like he smoked an ounce of the funny stuff. She told me a while back she had a "very immature classroom". Well, she's got 23 7 and 8 year old kids. I mean, how mature are they going to be? I have a feeling this teacher wants a class of quiet, sit in your chair with your hands in your lap kids, and isn't getting that, and is miserable. I don't think she should be a teacher, and that's just my opinion. Unfortunately, this school, overall, is the pits. This is the same school that had MASSIVE problems with Dylan, but once he was switched out into a different school, he was great. I think the principal here, as well as his teachers, are unrealistic as to how children are. It's a shame.

    Thanks for all the positive feedback. I'm very apprehensive at sending difficult child 2 home, but I think in the long run, nobody is going to help him more than I. As much as part of me doesn't want to, he is not getting a fair deal in the system. The system isn't doing squat. And someone has to.

    Janna
     
  17. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    "And all things, whatsoever, ye shall ask in prayer, ye shall receive" - Matthew 21:22

    God bless and be with you and increase your stamina thru this time.
     
  18. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Congrats to Dylan and you all on his meltdown-free year :bravo: :smile:

    Crossing everything crossable for you that a new plan can be devised to bring your difficult child 2 home, get him the help he needs, and that he's ready to work on things with you.
     
  19. givnmegryhr

    givnmegryhr New Member

    hi janna. at least this foster mom isn't making things up about difficult child 2. I wish you luck with your reunification. Its great the other boys are doing so well. You all deserve it.
     
  20. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I hope all continues to go smoothly after difficult child gets home. Maybe he now realizes that your home is better than any other option and he will behave just to stay there. -RM
     
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