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Its been 3 years since I posted
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<blockquote data-quote="beebz" data-source="post: 763797" data-attributes="member: 23451"><p>No, he had Tourette’s (which I missed and is a looooong story). The schizophrenia is something new. People reading his thoughts, cameras everywhere, knowing something “big” is going to happen. I can’t imagine for the life of me how it came about or why. He is on Suboxone and medical marijuana. He is drug tested every 2 weeks . I reckon he could be doing meth because subs don’t effect that negatively ? And he can time his use and testing? He is a skeleton yet eats pounds and pounds of food daily, he has paralysis of the bowel. No family history of schizophrenia. Maybe there is. I heard a story about my husbands aunt who tried to take someone’s baby and my grandmother was mentally ill but I don’t recall her exact diagnosis. I’ll have to ask my dad later about her exact diagnosis. I know, in this small country town, knowing the judge and all the Dr’s, that I can get a 5150 on my son but don’t see the point. Maybe there is a point, but right now I’m trying to muster up the physical and mental energy just to shower let alone run all over the city to try to get help for my son, again, and again, and again. I will always love him. The pain of being a mother to a drug addicted son is pure misery. It kills me. He has such loving remorseful eyes. Through my illness, especially over the last year, he has done ALL my chores, every single one. He watches me and if he sees that I am standing up from my chair, he jumps up and does what I was going to do before my ass ever exits the bottom cushion. He literally does everything for me. I wish I could copy the last many months of his texts to me. You’ve never seen anything so normal and loving in your life, every…..single……day…… he says I love you, I hope you are having a good day, I hope your leg pain isn’t bad today…….if it is, just rest and I’lll do everything when I come home…How are you? Can I bring you home anything to eat? What’s for dinner..would you like me to pick up a NewYorker or Chinese? Or Chipotle ? Or a 3 way from Gold Star? … I hope I wasn’t too noisy when I got ready for work this morning… I let the dogs out before I left but Bubba would go …. I heard the new bird call this morning that you mentioned….it was beautiful. … I’ll be running late today so don’t worry, I have a Dr appointment… would dad like me to bring him home anything to eat? .. do you need me to pick up anything from the store on my way home??? —- yet the same son accuses me daily of having cameras and tracking devices on him, around him and in his car. He tears things up looking for them. Sometimes he says “its ok because I know you and dad just want whats best for me” - ——- The more a drug addict spills over onto you/me, the more the healthy non drug addict becomes “sick”. I feel sick, the torture, the sadness, the stress, the broken heart, the worry. I just feel so half dead.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="beebz, post: 763797, member: 23451"] No, he had Tourette’s (which I missed and is a looooong story). The schizophrenia is something new. People reading his thoughts, cameras everywhere, knowing something “big” is going to happen. I can’t imagine for the life of me how it came about or why. He is on Suboxone and medical marijuana. He is drug tested every 2 weeks . I reckon he could be doing meth because subs don’t effect that negatively ? And he can time his use and testing? He is a skeleton yet eats pounds and pounds of food daily, he has paralysis of the bowel. No family history of schizophrenia. Maybe there is. I heard a story about my husbands aunt who tried to take someone’s baby and my grandmother was mentally ill but I don’t recall her exact diagnosis. I’ll have to ask my dad later about her exact diagnosis. I know, in this small country town, knowing the judge and all the Dr’s, that I can get a 5150 on my son but don’t see the point. Maybe there is a point, but right now I’m trying to muster up the physical and mental energy just to shower let alone run all over the city to try to get help for my son, again, and again, and again. I will always love him. The pain of being a mother to a drug addicted son is pure misery. It kills me. He has such loving remorseful eyes. Through my illness, especially over the last year, he has done ALL my chores, every single one. He watches me and if he sees that I am standing up from my chair, he jumps up and does what I was going to do before my ass ever exits the bottom cushion. He literally does everything for me. I wish I could copy the last many months of his texts to me. You’ve never seen anything so normal and loving in your life, every…..single……day…… he says I love you, I hope you are having a good day, I hope your leg pain isn’t bad today…….if it is, just rest and I’lll do everything when I come home…How are you? Can I bring you home anything to eat? What’s for dinner..would you like me to pick up a NewYorker or Chinese? Or Chipotle ? Or a 3 way from Gold Star? … I hope I wasn’t too noisy when I got ready for work this morning… I let the dogs out before I left but Bubba would go …. I heard the new bird call this morning that you mentioned….it was beautiful. … I’ll be running late today so don’t worry, I have a Dr appointment… would dad like me to bring him home anything to eat? .. do you need me to pick up anything from the store on my way home??? —- yet the same son accuses me daily of having cameras and tracking devices on him, around him and in his car. He tears things up looking for them. Sometimes he says “its ok because I know you and dad just want whats best for me” - ——- The more a drug addict spills over onto you/me, the more the healthy non drug addict becomes “sick”. I feel sick, the torture, the sadness, the stress, the broken heart, the worry. I just feel so half dead. [/QUOTE]
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