Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
It's been a long week...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 368219" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>My husband was the stepfather and I had a good ear as to why the kids would not accept him. First of all, it was worse when he tried to play a parental role and get involved in discipline and better after we decided that my ex and I would do all the disciplining. These are things my kids told me:</p><p></p><p>"He's not my father. I love Dad, not him."</p><p></p><p>"You picked him, not me. I don't have to love him. I never will." (They do get along now that they are all growed up)</p><p></p><p>"I wish he wasn't here. He's an intruder" (Two of my kids were teenagers)</p><p></p><p>"It was so good before HE came around."</p><p></p><p>"He's mean. I don't have to listen to him." (He wasn't mean)</p><p></p><p>"I don't like him. He's not my father."</p><p></p><p>Etc, etc, etc. A lot was resentment that I was divorced from their father and they were sad and uncomfortable seeing me with somebody else. And they did have a point. I wanted the divorce and I picked their stepfather and I couldn't make them like or accept hm. They do now, but it's been fifteen years. I think perhaps your stepdaughter is telling you, "I didn't ask for the divorce or the remarriage and I don't accept you in my life." But things can change a lot as t hey mature. Your stepdaughter knows darn well why she won't give you a chance. As yet, she just doesn't want to talk about it. And, remember, time is your friend. My kids are used to my hub now and the early resentment is long passed. I know how hard this is as I saw it first hand. Don't trivialize your feelings or problems.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 368219, member: 1550"] My husband was the stepfather and I had a good ear as to why the kids would not accept him. First of all, it was worse when he tried to play a parental role and get involved in discipline and better after we decided that my ex and I would do all the disciplining. These are things my kids told me: "He's not my father. I love Dad, not him." "You picked him, not me. I don't have to love him. I never will." (They do get along now that they are all growed up) "I wish he wasn't here. He's an intruder" (Two of my kids were teenagers) "It was so good before HE came around." "He's mean. I don't have to listen to him." (He wasn't mean) "I don't like him. He's not my father." Etc, etc, etc. A lot was resentment that I was divorced from their father and they were sad and uncomfortable seeing me with somebody else. And they did have a point. I wanted the divorce and I picked their stepfather and I couldn't make them like or accept hm. They do now, but it's been fifteen years. I think perhaps your stepdaughter is telling you, "I didn't ask for the divorce or the remarriage and I don't accept you in my life." But things can change a lot as t hey mature. Your stepdaughter knows darn well why she won't give you a chance. As yet, she just doesn't want to talk about it. And, remember, time is your friend. My kids are used to my hub now and the early resentment is long passed. I know how hard this is as I saw it first hand. Don't trivialize your feelings or problems. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
It's been a long week...
Top