It's been awhile...thought I'd reintroduce

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by 4timmy, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    Well, it's been almost 2 years since I was here last. It's been a rough ride. I probably wouldn't have experienced my downward spiral had I continued to participate on this Forum. So in truth, that’s why I’m back. I’ve managed to slither into a kind of depression that I can’t seem to shake off without a glass of wine every night when I come home from work.

    My difficult child is rocketing into puberty now at 12 years and it’s a constant battle to get him to wear deodorant, bath, brush his teeth…you get the picture. His emotional maturity is still at an 8 or 9 year old’s level, so why should he care if he smells? His medications are constantly being adjusted during this time of emotional influx and he’s managed to pack on some poundage.

    After my difficult child was placed in the school’s “ED” (Emotionally Disabled) program in 6th grade, he made the Honor Roll every grading period. This did wonders for his self-esteem. 7th Grade, however, hasn’t been as easy. He has realized that he is in a “Special” class at school, but he doesn’t seem to dwell on it too much. There have been ZERO suspensions and ZERO incidents of hurting himself or acting out in class. I truly think that he felt so different in the regular classroom that he acted out in socially unacceptable ways in the hope that others would like him. (Just a theory)

    My difficult child is extremely negative and constantly complains about school. There have been mornings where he has physically acted out his dissatisfaction by punching or elbowing holes in our plaster walls. A lot of our darkness right now comes from our Ohio winter. It’s just not enhancing our moods. Mornings are always full of drama. Temper tantrums over not being able to get his socks on has resulted in me putting them on for him every morning. I know this isn’t the right thing to do, but I find myself just not wanting to pick that battle.

    On the other side is my husband, who is very much like my difficult child… or is it that my difficult child is very much like my husband? I find myself in the middle of their battles at times and think to myself lately that I’d like to just run away in order to stop the load of stress I place on myself over their actions. It’s not even that they argue often or about serious things. It just tugs on me physically now to witness or mediate it. When my difficult child gets explosive or angry about something, I physically feel it pulling me down. We all just really need for Spring to get here.
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi. Sorry things are so tough now.
    Is he getting help for his Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-not otherwise specified?
  3. 4timmy

    4timmy New Member

    He gets Occupational Therapy at school, but that's not enough. He needs social skills. It's my mission this year to get myself out of this funk and get us all into counseling.
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yes, it does seem as if you have fallen into a depression. Something that is very common here for us Warrior Moms. Life just hands us too much sometimes.

    You have to be your best you in order to help anyone else around you, so take care of you first.
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Does your school offer Social Skills groups or the like? Ours does and difficult child has been in it for about 3 weeks now. It is doing wonders for him. He is FINALLY able to put words to some of his emotions and is learning (baby steps) to tell people how he is feeling instead of melting down and expecting people to figure out what's wrong (I know that's not his reasoning but how it used to seem to me). You might want to check into that with your school.

    You do need to take care of yourself. You could always start counseling for yourself so you can get to a better place before you throw both difficult child's (lol) into the mix. Take care of yourself like busy said or you won't be any good to anyone.