It's been awhile....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JKF, Mar 8, 2012.

  1. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    So, it's been a while since I've posted. Life has been busy. Lots of work. Not so much play. Getting ready to head to Daytona Beach at the end of the month for vacation with hubby and difficult child #2. SO looking forward to that!!!

    difficult child#1 is still having major problems. He's been caught stealing multiple times lately. This is nothing new but the PCR is finally starting to realize he has a serious problem! This last time may end up with charges being pressed against him. I believe he needs that though. He's never had any serious consequences (like jail) for his actions so he thinks he can get away with anything. He'll be 18 in less than 4 months and he's in for a big wake up call! He wants to come home. It's not happening. Even the therapist agreed. She said he can't function there, in a 24 hour supervised setting, so he sure as hell can't function in a less restrictive environment. I have a feeling the next few months will be rough trying to get him into a new placement for young adults but I'm hopeful that once that's done things will calm down!

    difficult child#2 is doing wonderfully (knock on wood)! He's really turned things around at school and is doing much better behavior wise. We made some serious changes at home and have been very consistent with everything. It was hard at first but it's really paying off! Like I said, KNOCK ON WOOD!! I'm almost ready to start calling him my easy child again but I don't want to curse things so we'll stick with difficult child #2 for now! LOL

    Anyway, like I said, it's been a while and I just wanted to stop in and say hi and see how everyone's doing!
     
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I think the therapist and you are right about difficult child 1 not coming home. It sounds like he needs much more help and supervision than is available through "typical" community resources. I wish you luck in finding an apporpriate place for him to go when he becomes a legal adult. Sounds like you're doing all the right things for him.

    As for difficult child 2, congratulations. Sometimes the most effective changes are the ones WE make for ourselves. I know that's the case here. In order to change our difficult child's, we sometimes have to change ourselves first. Keeping fingers crossed that he effectively earns the easy child title. That would be so awesome but I understand the reluctance. Heaven forbid you jinx yourself.

    Have a wonderful vacation. It is well deserved. Thanks for checking in with us. Good news is always nice to hear (ok, read).
     
  3. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    It's been such a long road with difficult child#1 and I had (and still do at times) some serious guilt issues. Last year when I found this group I was at rock bottom! I couldn't function because of the guilt and it had a huge impact on all aspects of my life! We're still going through the same stuff with difficult child#1 but I've learned to detach and use that energy to take better care of myself, my husband and difficult child #2 instead of focusing on difficult child#1 allllllllllll the time! I'm done with the blame game and feeling guilty all of the time because of it! He's at the age now where he needs to stop blaming everyone else and start taking some responsibility for his own actions. And it's funny, because once I stopped focusing all of my energy on difficult child#1 and started to look around and make changes at home and to myself, things really started to fall into place with difficult child#2. I'm not saying we'll never have struggles (he's only 11...lol) but things have definitely improved at least 90%!

    And thank you for the well wishes TeDo! Vacation is a big luxury for us and not something we get to do often so we'll definitely enjoy it!
     
  4. keista

    keista New Member

    Glad to hear things are going as well as can be expected.
     
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