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Parent Emeritus
It's Been Awhile..................
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 61702" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>I agree with Busywend. I think she doesn't mind her life so much, it is hard to understand that, but that is the reality. You want this more for her than she does. She didn't come to you asking for help, you offered it and she thought maybe it could work to her advantage if she can get you to change the conditions. </p><p></p><p>How do your PCs feel about her moving back? My younger dtr would not do well at all if her older sister was moving back home but she was abused by her and is trying to heal. We absolutely cannot let her sister ever move back with us (and thankfully she is doing okay and doesn't want to!)</p><p></p><p>I think this is a set-up for failure and your discomfort with her life has led you to try to help but she isn't ready for your help and may never be ready. I think no one will benefit if she moves back. She will cause resentment in your family, she will fail once again, you will have to kick her out. Lots of pain and drama and chaos for everyone. I would rescind the offer, let her know if she ever would like to take you up on it that it remains open but only under your conditions and that she will have to take the initiative and also require some sort of proof that she is serious (such as getting the 2 jobs).</p><p></p><p>Good luck!</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 61702, member: 3450"] I agree with Busywend. I think she doesn't mind her life so much, it is hard to understand that, but that is the reality. You want this more for her than she does. She didn't come to you asking for help, you offered it and she thought maybe it could work to her advantage if she can get you to change the conditions. How do your PCs feel about her moving back? My younger dtr would not do well at all if her older sister was moving back home but she was abused by her and is trying to heal. We absolutely cannot let her sister ever move back with us (and thankfully she is doing okay and doesn't want to!) I think this is a set-up for failure and your discomfort with her life has led you to try to help but she isn't ready for your help and may never be ready. I think no one will benefit if she moves back. She will cause resentment in your family, she will fail once again, you will have to kick her out. Lots of pain and drama and chaos for everyone. I would rescind the offer, let her know if she ever would like to take you up on it that it remains open but only under your conditions and that she will have to take the initiative and also require some sort of proof that she is serious (such as getting the 2 jobs). Good luck! Jane [/QUOTE]
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