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<blockquote data-quote="welcometowitsend" data-source="post: 598815" data-attributes="member: 14356"><p>Gran - I think your feelings towards your difficult child are perfectly normal. Yes I love my son, yes I still want to help him, yes I still (not always) feel affection and sympathy towards him. He's only 17. We've only been doing this with him for a couple of years. Ok, he was not the easiest kid but certainly not the most difficult until he hit 15. </p><p></p><p>You've been on this road for a long time and your daughter has probably taken advantage of your kindness, lied and abused you for most of that time. Not to mention that she has stolen your retirement from you and given you two more children to raise. I am sure that you don't begrudge raising your grandchildren and that you love them and parent them well. But this is not what you had planned for this time in your life and that must be so hard. I know that you are 10 years older than me and my husband and I have such great plans for 10 years down the road. Our house will be paid for, we won't have to work as hard, we can take more vacations, we can hopefully focus on ourselves. I think I might be angry and resentful if I had that long term dream pulled out from underneath me. </p><p></p><p>Don't beat yourself up. You get up every day with the intention of doing the best that you can. And by the way? I can have some very angry and unking feelings towards my difficult child. I am sometimes shocked at what comes out of my mouth when I talk to husband about him.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="welcometowitsend, post: 598815, member: 14356"] Gran - I think your feelings towards your difficult child are perfectly normal. Yes I love my son, yes I still want to help him, yes I still (not always) feel affection and sympathy towards him. He's only 17. We've only been doing this with him for a couple of years. Ok, he was not the easiest kid but certainly not the most difficult until he hit 15. You've been on this road for a long time and your daughter has probably taken advantage of your kindness, lied and abused you for most of that time. Not to mention that she has stolen your retirement from you and given you two more children to raise. I am sure that you don't begrudge raising your grandchildren and that you love them and parent them well. But this is not what you had planned for this time in your life and that must be so hard. I know that you are 10 years older than me and my husband and I have such great plans for 10 years down the road. Our house will be paid for, we won't have to work as hard, we can take more vacations, we can hopefully focus on ourselves. I think I might be angry and resentful if I had that long term dream pulled out from underneath me. Don't beat yourself up. You get up every day with the intention of doing the best that you can. And by the way? I can have some very angry and unking feelings towards my difficult child. I am sometimes shocked at what comes out of my mouth when I talk to husband about him. [/QUOTE]
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