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It's Coming - I can Feel it...
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 393974" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I remember a difficult child classmate at school who attached herself to me and then drove all my friends away with her unbelievably tactless behaviour. One of my friends was overweight quite badly, to the point where I still wonder if there was some disorder there. My difficult child classmate loudly asked, "Why are you so fat? Maybe it's that cream cake you're eating," and my chubby friend burst into tears and told a teacher (which led to difficult child, and me because I was in the vicinity, being banned from being near my friends).</p><p></p><p>I remember I immediately challenged my difficult child classmate when she said this by saying, "You shouldn't say things like that, it's unkind." And difficult child classmate replied with, "What's wrong? It's true, isn't it?" and just couldn't see how being tactless was also being mean and nasty. The problem was, difficult child classmate could only see the world from her own point of view. Some people are like this - to them, everyone else in the world is only there as a foil for them. Whenever they deal with other people it is always in terms of, "What can I get out of this person?" or "What is the purpose of this person in my world?" If the person in question is seen as a problem by the difficult child, often the difficult child takes the attitude of, "I must do my best to remove this person from my world, from this picture. From my environment." Or if it is a feature of that person (such as they don't like the colour shirt the person is wearing) they try to fix that aspect of the problem. Often, it is the other person's appearance in some way that the difficult child is affronted by.</p><p></p><p>Such difficult children see this as their right to do this, because after all, it is THEIR world. And they can't understand why we don't get this...</p><p></p><p>I think your daughter's letter was a very good thing. It shows that it's nothing you have taught her at home, and it also shows that she is making her own bed on this and is darn well going to have to lie in it.</p><p></p><p>Any calls that come in - sweetly refer them to difficult child. SHE wrote the letter, not you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 393974, member: 1991"] I remember a difficult child classmate at school who attached herself to me and then drove all my friends away with her unbelievably tactless behaviour. One of my friends was overweight quite badly, to the point where I still wonder if there was some disorder there. My difficult child classmate loudly asked, "Why are you so fat? Maybe it's that cream cake you're eating," and my chubby friend burst into tears and told a teacher (which led to difficult child, and me because I was in the vicinity, being banned from being near my friends). I remember I immediately challenged my difficult child classmate when she said this by saying, "You shouldn't say things like that, it's unkind." And difficult child classmate replied with, "What's wrong? It's true, isn't it?" and just couldn't see how being tactless was also being mean and nasty. The problem was, difficult child classmate could only see the world from her own point of view. Some people are like this - to them, everyone else in the world is only there as a foil for them. Whenever they deal with other people it is always in terms of, "What can I get out of this person?" or "What is the purpose of this person in my world?" If the person in question is seen as a problem by the difficult child, often the difficult child takes the attitude of, "I must do my best to remove this person from my world, from this picture. From my environment." Or if it is a feature of that person (such as they don't like the colour shirt the person is wearing) they try to fix that aspect of the problem. Often, it is the other person's appearance in some way that the difficult child is affronted by. Such difficult children see this as their right to do this, because after all, it is THEIR world. And they can't understand why we don't get this... I think your daughter's letter was a very good thing. It shows that it's nothing you have taught her at home, and it also shows that she is making her own bed on this and is darn well going to have to lie in it. Any calls that come in - sweetly refer them to difficult child. SHE wrote the letter, not you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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