It's Getting Ugly....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Dec 28, 2009.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    husband had asked difficult child to please get some yard work done over Xmas break...and she's been so busy doing nothing that she just hasn't had time.

    Today, husband came home on his lunch break to see that difficult child is STILL laying around doing nothing...started yelling

    difficult child respomds that she doesn't care...

    husband tells her she better get work done TODAY or he is taking away everything she owns...

    difficult child goes stomping outside...

    and now

    husband is going back to work and leaving me to deal with angry difficult child.


  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sounds like our day yesterday with difficult child 1. I'm sorry, it hoovers when they are oppositional like this. In our case, difficult child 1 gets more cooperative (and apologetic) once his stimulant medications kick in, but before that, he is Mr. Hyde squared. :(
  3. Star*

    Star* call 911

    We finally took a different albeit more $$$ubtle approach to this problem because - well because whipping a child tied to a post has been outlawed for some time. (I think)

    We just did EVERYTHING ourselves. EVERY. THING. Raked leaves, mulched, gathered pine straw, raked more leaves (there are 2 acres- and loads of leaves) trimmed trees, cut the lawn, mulched more leaves, edged the lawn, drive and the ONLY thing left was to install 50' of fence. THE ONLY thing. Now....when I tell you we did yard work - I'm not talking namby pamby - I'm talking - we missed Thanksgiving - because we did YARD work. I haven't felt well for years, and DF has bad ----everything. So it was yard (echo) work.

    When Dude came back from FL and needed a little "spending" money so he wouldn't be embarrassed to go with his friends....we laughed. OMG did we laugh. We laughed like teenagers who were working at Burger King for our minimum wage jobs and had a friend who said "Give me $10 for sweeping your drive?" Yeah dude - pft.....and you give me $50 for washing your Mom's car....ROFLMAO. I even washed my own car.....I mean there was NOTHING to do to earn so much as a nickle.

    So.....the next time there WAS something to do? HE volunteered. AMAZING. Of course we said - JOB does not pay squat until it's done to our satisfaction. And when it was not? We didn't pay and we finished it ourselves. Then we kids who worked at Burger King (again) when he came up with "Well you should pay me for part of it, I mean I got part of it done." and we said (like teenagers) "Well yeah Dude....we um....we want you to go see if you can get $50 for washing your Best Buddies Mom's car but only for washing the left door." ROFLOAO.

    THE NEXT chore? He did, he did it all, he did it without fail, he was complete, he got paid - less than it was worth and we have dramatically reduced the over-inflated cost of paying the boy to do the work because now we know we CAN do it --we're healthier than we were, and we don't HAVE to pay high-sin wages for his help. HE knows it too.

    And as far as the rest of it (Him living there, him eating there, showering, washing clothes, taking care of his puppy? That's about to change too. He's going to get a weekly bill of expenses - part of it can be paid off in GED attendance ----if there is none? Then he can pay it off in cash from working.) No more Ms. Nice Guy. He doesn't want to treat ME like I'm #1 in his life - I feel I can reciprocate in spades. If he doesn't like it? He can go live with Daddee, or in the park or where ever he likes.

    Then? He won't have any chores to do or worry about anyone nagging him to do them. 2010 is going to be my year to clean house.

    I love my son Daisy - and I'm going to tell him that all the time - but as far as me telling him 100 times a day that I love him and being treated like dirt? I'm a BROOM.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I LOVE your attitude!

  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I decided to take on Stars approach on paying Cory since I still have a room he was paid for but still isnt cleaned!
  6. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Not kidding -

    Since Dude has been in FL? I have deep cleaned the kitchen - and girls I mean scrubbed the cabinets in and out....I have done the top of the stove, the catch pans, lifted the lid, the fronts and even the inside of the dishwasher, back of the fridge....everything.

    Then I went to the top .....ceiling fan blades, lights....checked into how much it would cost to replace all the Edison bulbs with Shirley Temple bulbs. (lots)
    Then cob webs....

    Room by room - I am systematically - debunking, decluttered, and tossed into boxes (cleaning items as I went and marking them with yard sale stickers) items that I had not touched in a year or that had no sentimental value. My home is starting to be very easy to clean.

    Then? I'm going to have a schedule. Mon, Wed, Fri - vacuum quickly-
    Tues, Thurs - shake out rugs, sweep kitchen ....Wed & Sat. Bathroom day. I mean - just things like that. Friday? Whites day in the laundry. Saturday AM - window and door glass day. I am also going to get colored baskets and put in a neutral location (laundry room) and when I find something that is OUT OF PLACE? In their basket it will go. I'm not going to ask them to "Please pick up their stuff." After one week? Basket goes in the garbage or in the yard sale box. My choice. Figure if I have to clean it up.....I'm going to do with it what I want...I'm tired of stressing ----and when it's gone? It's gone. One verbal warning. We'll see how that works.

    I'm getting rid of clutter....and I'm going to have a ME year. I've never had one. DF said GO FOR IT. I've always put MY things back at the store to get for everyone else. Not this year. I've always put MY hobbies on hold to help everyone else - not this year. I'm working towards getting both bathrooms done, the walls patched, the ceiling drywalled (don't ask) and then the carpeting in...brick up....and the puppy potty trained. Then woe be unto he who walks on my carpeting in shoes.
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    So difficult child got some work done on Monday so-so. She spent TWO and 1/2 HOURS sweeping the driveway (and no, before you even give her the benefit of the doubt, the length of the drive doesn't extend much past the length of the cars, and the width is about three car widths...not a large area). At least the drive was indeed clean and clear when she finished...

    Tuesday, she was sent outside three times to please pick up after the dogs before relatives arrived for a visit. She swore up and down that she did BUT our guests still ended up with do-do on their shoes. Fun.

    Wednesday morning, husband tells her to go finish the stuff she didn't get down on Monday. She had not even gone outdoors by lunch--so he reminded her at noon that it needed doing.

    It is now nearly 4 pm....difficult child has still not done a darn thing.

    husband arrives home just after 5:00.

    He is going to be TICKED.

    Which means we will probably have a very nasty he has promised to remove ALL of her belongings if she didn't get anything done.