It's like watching a train wreck!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dstc_99, Dec 17, 2012.

  1. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    So over the past 6-8 months difficult child has gone from just being mean to harming herself by choking. Some of you may remember that the choking started while she was with her boyfriend and was having difficulty with him. Basically anytime he didn't do what she said or wanted she would lose her temper and wind up choking herself. The day I found out about all this I took her to the ER and basically told him to go home. It was obvious to me that the relationship was not healthy but in difficult child's mind he was her only reason to live. (PS I think this constitues her considering suicide but her therapist swears she isn't planning that.)

    Skip to a few weeks later he breaks up with her because he can't handle it.

    Skip a few more weeks and they are back together. I laid down the law and said they couldn't be at his house because difficult child has self harmed at his house on three occasions. His mother has some supervisory deficits and I don't trust her to ensure they are making good decisions.

    Skip again and the girls and guys he hung out with prior to meeting difficult child are making her life a living hell. They don't want the boyfriend with her because then he doesn't party with them. difficult child winds up having to leave school for the day because of the drama. Apparently the principals stepped in and helped with this.

    Skip again and they break up because he is cheating on her with one of the girls that was making her life a living hell. difficult child winds up having to leave school because she can't handle this.

    Now here we are two weeks later and guess what? (this is where you fake surprise) They are possibly getting back together. ARGH!!!! Seriously!!! difficult child can not handle the drama with him and his friends. He has convinced her the texts and pictures that proved he was cheating all occured during their break up. Honestly it isn't the boyfriend I dont like, even though I am learning to like him less and less after each event. It is the boyfriend's friends who torture my daughter, it is the fact that difficult child goes in headfirst and excludes everyone from her life but him, it is the inevitable breakdown and drama the occurs when it all goes wrong. What I don't like most of all about him is that he isn't thinking about difficult child. He wants a girl that he knows is broken even though he knows that being in a relationship with him breaks her more. If he loved her so much he would care enough not to put her in harms way. Right?

    I know I cant protect difficult child from the world or boys but seriously at what point do you not see a pattern? I realize I am talking about two teenagers who can't see past the end of their proverbial noses so I am expecting too much. I just don't know if I can handle boyfriend drama right now. I am afraid this will break me.
  2. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    When I was reading your post, I was wondering if the boyfriend reconciles with your difficult child for some cruel reason, like he and the friends that torture her make some kind of pact, and use difficult child for entertainment purposes? You'd be surprised how mean some teenagers can be. Then, God forbid your daughter really chokes and hurts herself, the friends will feign innocence, acting like they never knew how much it was hurting difficult child, and they will get off scot free.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    CJ - I hope you're wrong, but that thought crossed my mind too.
  4. dstc_99

    dstc_99 Well-Known Member

    Lord I hope you are wrong. That thought never crossed my mind. I had thought about the girls and the boyfriend's friends doing something like that but never thought about the boyfriend being involved.
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I dont know that most teens are that self aware though I guess some are becoming more and more conniving at younger ages these days. I would think they are just completely more into themselves and not thinking about how their behaviors are impacting anyone else. Most kids in that age group are all about ME. They may also see her as a threat to their friend. Hope she can learn to send him packing and find a way to figure out she is better off without him and his group of jerky friends.