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General Parenting
It's Official--difficult child is "Toast"!!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 313202" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Logical consequences. Make the truth come out. Ask to see the permission note and give the school a sample of your signature. Do a quiet deal with the school to only use a particular colour ink, for example. Find ways to cover yourselves. Maybe have yourself a different "school only" signature. For example, I have one signature for official documents, another for letters etc. Find out if you can set this up with the school.</p><p></p><p>Second - she's been seen in te wrong place doing the wrong things. Including driving while unlicensed. So talk to the police. They should't be able to touch her if she's not caught in the act, but check (your laws are different to ours). She needs to know what would happen to any LICENSED driver caught up in her games, as well as to other kids involved. Also, the consequences of kids falling out the back of a pick-up, we've seen ourselves. There are some cute 'games' which kids in Australia have been playing for decades, since the ute (aka pick-up) was first invented. Kids will take turns standing up in the tray at the back and holding on to the cabin, while the driver does doughnuts and wheelies in the paddock and tries to throw the rider. it's like rodeo.</p><p>Other dangers - kids pile into the back for a ride, and if the ute hits a stump or pothole, kids can get thrown out. Both husband & myself know kids who were killed this way, kids in our class at school.</p><p></p><p>There have to be consequences.</p><p></p><p>It does sound to me like she shot through in order to set up an outing which included lunch at maccas, and a driving lesson. So consequences need to be - curtailing of public social life (until she can demonstrate and earn back the responsibility to handle it) and also, either a ban on driving lessons, or enrolment in an advanced driving course (an assault safety course that teaches just how dangerous driving can be).</p><p></p><p>If you ban driving lessons, you MUST make sure you can enforce it. Anything you put in place, you must be able to enforce it.</p><p></p><p>Putting extra guard dogs on duty is one way of enforcing it. The school can work as an extra guard dog.</p><p></p><p>Full and frank disclosure, for sure, will be a very effective and appropriate punishment. With everybody affected. And that now includes the local McDonalds. Give them her photo and tell them what she was doing. Because a kid getting injured in their car park due to an unlicensed driver, could have put them in jeopardy.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 313202, member: 1991"] Logical consequences. Make the truth come out. Ask to see the permission note and give the school a sample of your signature. Do a quiet deal with the school to only use a particular colour ink, for example. Find ways to cover yourselves. Maybe have yourself a different "school only" signature. For example, I have one signature for official documents, another for letters etc. Find out if you can set this up with the school. Second - she's been seen in te wrong place doing the wrong things. Including driving while unlicensed. So talk to the police. They should't be able to touch her if she's not caught in the act, but check (your laws are different to ours). She needs to know what would happen to any LICENSED driver caught up in her games, as well as to other kids involved. Also, the consequences of kids falling out the back of a pick-up, we've seen ourselves. There are some cute 'games' which kids in Australia have been playing for decades, since the ute (aka pick-up) was first invented. Kids will take turns standing up in the tray at the back and holding on to the cabin, while the driver does doughnuts and wheelies in the paddock and tries to throw the rider. it's like rodeo. Other dangers - kids pile into the back for a ride, and if the ute hits a stump or pothole, kids can get thrown out. Both husband & myself know kids who were killed this way, kids in our class at school. There have to be consequences. It does sound to me like she shot through in order to set up an outing which included lunch at maccas, and a driving lesson. So consequences need to be - curtailing of public social life (until she can demonstrate and earn back the responsibility to handle it) and also, either a ban on driving lessons, or enrolment in an advanced driving course (an assault safety course that teaches just how dangerous driving can be). If you ban driving lessons, you MUST make sure you can enforce it. Anything you put in place, you must be able to enforce it. Putting extra guard dogs on duty is one way of enforcing it. The school can work as an extra guard dog. Full and frank disclosure, for sure, will be a very effective and appropriate punishment. With everybody affected. And that now includes the local McDonalds. Give them her photo and tell them what she was doing. Because a kid getting injured in their car park due to an unlicensed driver, could have put them in jeopardy. Marg [/QUOTE]
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