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<blockquote data-quote="slsh" data-source="post: 105682" data-attributes="member: 8"><p>Star,</p><p></p><p>I understand, sympathize, emphasize, and totally get it. That false half a day of "aren't we a normal family" is miserable, especially when you know the roof is going to cave in in short order.</p><p></p><p>How many holidays past have there been discussions on the board about how to handle the celebrations? It made sense when the boys were younger *not* to tie in festivities with- behavior. The holidays were sacred family times, regardless of what the family had endured during the year. </p><p></p><p>But your cryptonite kid has drug this on way too long - mind too. My take on it is that it's not punishment at all. It's acceptance, with a healthy dose of mourning for the picture-perfect holiday that we haven't had, cannot have, with our kids as they are today. </p><p></p><p>Truthfully? I'm still very seriously contemplating getting thank you pots and pans for Christmas this year, storing them here. Starting a "trousseau" for him. Ditch the death metal music (ok, that's not happening anyway) and video games and child-like gifts. Buy him Corell plates instead. Welcome to practicality. </p><p></p><p>My wish for you is that you are able to find peace with how things are for now, and that maybe next year you and DF can come up with your own definition of celebrating the holidays and build new traditions. Most of all, I hope that Dude is able to someday come home (visit!) and join in wholeheartedly and joyfully.</p><p></p><p>Peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="slsh, post: 105682, member: 8"] Star, I understand, sympathize, emphasize, and totally get it. That false half a day of "aren't we a normal family" is miserable, especially when you know the roof is going to cave in in short order. How many holidays past have there been discussions on the board about how to handle the celebrations? It made sense when the boys were younger *not* to tie in festivities with- behavior. The holidays were sacred family times, regardless of what the family had endured during the year. But your cryptonite kid has drug this on way too long - mind too. My take on it is that it's not punishment at all. It's acceptance, with a healthy dose of mourning for the picture-perfect holiday that we haven't had, cannot have, with our kids as they are today. Truthfully? I'm still very seriously contemplating getting thank you pots and pans for Christmas this year, storing them here. Starting a "trousseau" for him. Ditch the death metal music (ok, that's not happening anyway) and video games and child-like gifts. Buy him Corell plates instead. Welcome to practicality. My wish for you is that you are able to find peace with how things are for now, and that maybe next year you and DF can come up with your own definition of celebrating the holidays and build new traditions. Most of all, I hope that Dude is able to someday come home (visit!) and join in wholeheartedly and joyfully. Peace. [/QUOTE]
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