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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 450093" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I can only say in my mind ----for you and your sanitys sake - FINALLY. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. I know it hurts, I know it rips your heart out. I know it kills the kids. But somewhere in all of the turmoil if you have lived through it and survived it? From one survivor and overcomer to another - the logical part of me says - FINALLY. Of course the softer side of me says like everyone else - I'm so sorry and all the other pietous things that go along with loosing a marriage - but when a marriage is defined by TWO people doing all that they can to support each other and only ONE person has been doing the work for so long? Then you didn't have a marriage anyway, and it's time to move on from there and begin healing and allow him to hit the absolute bottom - pray for his recovery from afar - learn to forgive him eventually for the things he's done to you,your kids and your family, for taking your youth, your years and move on in a healthy way. </p><p></p><p>I hope you seek counseling to get your life back together for as long as it takes you to understand that while a lot of this was his addictions - there was a lot of your enabling that allowed this to go on far too long - and you need to understand it, not blame yourself for it, get a grip on it, and make sure you really understand why you did what you did so you don't make the same mistakes again, and live the rest of you years in peace, and set a new example for your kids of what NOT to tolerate. </p><p></p><p>If you need anyone to scream at - I'm available via PM. I so get where you are at right now. And I really am sorry, but I think you are incredibly brave and extremely wise. AND NOT ALONE AT ALL!!!!!!! </p><p></p><p>HUGS & LOVE </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 450093, member: 4964"] I can only say in my mind ----for you and your sanitys sake - FINALLY. I'm sorry. I know it hurts, I know it rips your heart out. I know it kills the kids. But somewhere in all of the turmoil if you have lived through it and survived it? From one survivor and overcomer to another - the logical part of me says - FINALLY. Of course the softer side of me says like everyone else - I'm so sorry and all the other pietous things that go along with loosing a marriage - but when a marriage is defined by TWO people doing all that they can to support each other and only ONE person has been doing the work for so long? Then you didn't have a marriage anyway, and it's time to move on from there and begin healing and allow him to hit the absolute bottom - pray for his recovery from afar - learn to forgive him eventually for the things he's done to you,your kids and your family, for taking your youth, your years and move on in a healthy way. I hope you seek counseling to get your life back together for as long as it takes you to understand that while a lot of this was his addictions - there was a lot of your enabling that allowed this to go on far too long - and you need to understand it, not blame yourself for it, get a grip on it, and make sure you really understand why you did what you did so you don't make the same mistakes again, and live the rest of you years in peace, and set a new example for your kids of what NOT to tolerate. If you need anyone to scream at - I'm available via PM. I so get where you are at right now. And I really am sorry, but I think you are incredibly brave and extremely wise. AND NOT ALONE AT ALL!!!!!!! HUGS & LOVE Star [/QUOTE]
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