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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 450142" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>((((HUGS))))</p><p></p><p>Since I've recently been there done that, my sentiments most echo <strong>Star</strong>'s. I am so sorry for the loss of your marriage, but congratulations on shedding this burden. I don't know your entire history, but what you've written is enough to know that YOU tried. YOU did everything you could to make him see the light. YOU did everything you could to keep that marriage together. YOU've been working so hard for so long at this relationship. YOU deserve a break now. </p><p></p><p>Yeah, it might hoover, but it is also a good thing. You've spent so much energy holding up both sides of the relationship, that I'm certain other things suffered - your own identity, thoughts, dreams, values and plans. You may or may not see and feel this immediately. Even if you do, it' doesn't change the fact that you need to grieve your marriage. The 3 months after my husband left were the strangest I had ever experienced emotionally. I was so happy and thrilled and excited that he finally left and I didn't have to deal with my 4th child anymore. But at the same time I was so utterly devastated and grief-stricken at the loss of my marriage which I had worked so hard for, and if he hadn't left of his own free will, I would have still been dumping energy into it and working on it.</p><p></p><p>This is one of those times in life that ANY emotion you feel is the right one - work through them all.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 450142, member: 11965"] ((((HUGS)))) Since I've recently been there done that, my sentiments most echo [B]Star[/B]'s. I am so sorry for the loss of your marriage, but congratulations on shedding this burden. I don't know your entire history, but what you've written is enough to know that YOU tried. YOU did everything you could to make him see the light. YOU did everything you could to keep that marriage together. YOU've been working so hard for so long at this relationship. YOU deserve a break now. Yeah, it might hoover, but it is also a good thing. You've spent so much energy holding up both sides of the relationship, that I'm certain other things suffered - your own identity, thoughts, dreams, values and plans. You may or may not see and feel this immediately. Even if you do, it' doesn't change the fact that you need to grieve your marriage. The 3 months after my husband left were the strangest I had ever experienced emotionally. I was so happy and thrilled and excited that he finally left and I didn't have to deal with my 4th child anymore. But at the same time I was so utterly devastated and grief-stricken at the loss of my marriage which I had worked so hard for, and if he hadn't left of his own free will, I would have still been dumping energy into it and working on it. This is one of those times in life that ANY emotion you feel is the right one - work through them all. [/QUOTE]
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