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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 464669" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I know I wrote a novel before, your situation just resonates so personally with my relationship with my mom that I wanted to say a lot. First, it is okay if it was too much info at once. Chances are I will repeat myself at some point (not because you didn't read/remember it, but because I ramble sometimes and can be quite verbose - NOT your fault, MINE!) so if you missed something it isn't a problem. And if I am out of line, just tell me. It is okay to tell me that.</p><p></p><p>I saw you are in Ohio. Not only do we have other members there, lived there for many years, some as a kid, some as an adult with a family. Grandparents DO have some rights in OH. Here is a link that will explain them: <a href="http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentsrights/qt/Grandparent_Rights_in_Ohio.htm" target="_blank">http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentsrights/qt/Grandparent_Rights_in_Ohio.htm</a></p><p></p><p>Key points are that it has to go to court to establish them, and often a suit just for grandparents' rights won't be scheduled - it needs to be part of a custody issue, etc... </p><p></p><p>MENTAL and physical health of ALL parties is evaluated. This means that your/difficult child's tdocs can weigh in on how unhealthy her influence is. Also that HER mental health will be evaluated, not just yours, difficult children, or difficult child's fathers. this means a therapist will evaluate HER. Not sure, but it sounds like that might not go well given her manipulation and control issues. My mom discussed suing for these when we moved away. The suit would have been filed in a state where if the parents are married to each other, the grands have no legal rights. Then seh wanted to file in OH, where we lived. But she had sent all sorts of letters to difficult child's therapist and psychiatrist and they had all sorts of things to say about her. Mostly she gave her version of difficult child's life and medical history - as she hadn't lived near him for 4 yrs at the time, and he was 7, well, what she said was very informative to the docs, but NOT about difficult child, husband or I. It spoke of HER problems. In a very LOUD way. </p><p></p><p>Your schedule, the amount of time for difficult child to be with his parents and/or any siblings, AND your wishes expressed to the court will ALL be weighed in. Given her view that you are incapable, and she is all knowing and powerful, well, I doubt it would go the way she wanted it to. How can she be a loving and supportive influence if she spends so much influence telling her own child how she can't do anything right? How long would it take for her to have difficult child around without you to blame for everything before she turned that criticism and negativity on him? THAT is what the court and tdocs/psychiatrists will wonder after she tells them all about your "problems" and how she has to fix everything including what he wears for school, Know what I mean??</p><p></p><p>Also, I assume that part of the reason you live iwth her is financial. If difficult child's father is not paying child support, one of the FIRST things that social services will do is go after him for it. He won't be giving you checks or cash, it will be taken out of his check by the state of OH once it is ordered. Of course if you are still together and he is in the household, then his income would count toward household income. I don't know/care if SO is difficult child's father, just letting you know that child support is a financial resource that your child is entitled to. The state is NOT good about searching out dads to make them pay. You might have to figure out wehre he works and tell them, and maybe pressure them to get the paperwork done. If a large sum of back support is due, there are firms who will find the dad and get the support order enforced. They take a % of the back amount due most of the time. Yes, it can be a big %, but if you are not getting any support, well, even getting that amount less the big % the firm takes is more than you had before. It is my understanding that they do not take any out of future support paid, just out of the back amount due.</p><p></p><p>This is info to keep in mind - just because your mom says she is going to have the court/state/whomever do something does NOT mean she can do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 464669, member: 1233"] I know I wrote a novel before, your situation just resonates so personally with my relationship with my mom that I wanted to say a lot. First, it is okay if it was too much info at once. Chances are I will repeat myself at some point (not because you didn't read/remember it, but because I ramble sometimes and can be quite verbose - NOT your fault, MINE!) so if you missed something it isn't a problem. And if I am out of line, just tell me. It is okay to tell me that. I saw you are in Ohio. Not only do we have other members there, lived there for many years, some as a kid, some as an adult with a family. Grandparents DO have some rights in OH. Here is a link that will explain them: [url]http://grandparents.about.com/od/grandparentsrights/qt/Grandparent_Rights_in_Ohio.htm[/url] Key points are that it has to go to court to establish them, and often a suit just for grandparents' rights won't be scheduled - it needs to be part of a custody issue, etc... MENTAL and physical health of ALL parties is evaluated. This means that your/difficult child's tdocs can weigh in on how unhealthy her influence is. Also that HER mental health will be evaluated, not just yours, difficult children, or difficult child's fathers. this means a therapist will evaluate HER. Not sure, but it sounds like that might not go well given her manipulation and control issues. My mom discussed suing for these when we moved away. The suit would have been filed in a state where if the parents are married to each other, the grands have no legal rights. Then seh wanted to file in OH, where we lived. But she had sent all sorts of letters to difficult child's therapist and psychiatrist and they had all sorts of things to say about her. Mostly she gave her version of difficult child's life and medical history - as she hadn't lived near him for 4 yrs at the time, and he was 7, well, what she said was very informative to the docs, but NOT about difficult child, husband or I. It spoke of HER problems. In a very LOUD way. Your schedule, the amount of time for difficult child to be with his parents and/or any siblings, AND your wishes expressed to the court will ALL be weighed in. Given her view that you are incapable, and she is all knowing and powerful, well, I doubt it would go the way she wanted it to. How can she be a loving and supportive influence if she spends so much influence telling her own child how she can't do anything right? How long would it take for her to have difficult child around without you to blame for everything before she turned that criticism and negativity on him? THAT is what the court and tdocs/psychiatrists will wonder after she tells them all about your "problems" and how she has to fix everything including what he wears for school, Know what I mean?? Also, I assume that part of the reason you live iwth her is financial. If difficult child's father is not paying child support, one of the FIRST things that social services will do is go after him for it. He won't be giving you checks or cash, it will be taken out of his check by the state of OH once it is ordered. Of course if you are still together and he is in the household, then his income would count toward household income. I don't know/care if SO is difficult child's father, just letting you know that child support is a financial resource that your child is entitled to. The state is NOT good about searching out dads to make them pay. You might have to figure out wehre he works and tell them, and maybe pressure them to get the paperwork done. If a large sum of back support is due, there are firms who will find the dad and get the support order enforced. They take a % of the back amount due most of the time. Yes, it can be a big %, but if you are not getting any support, well, even getting that amount less the big % the firm takes is more than you had before. It is my understanding that they do not take any out of future support paid, just out of the back amount due. This is info to keep in mind - just because your mom says she is going to have the court/state/whomever do something does NOT mean she can do it. [/QUOTE]
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