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General Parenting
I've charted all the stims he has taken for nearly 3 years
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<blockquote data-quote="TiredSoul" data-source="post: 380451" data-attributes="member: 3930"><p>I would never be able to get my difficult child to *do* something he doesn't want to do like writing sentences. It would never happen. Awhile ago I sat down and made a "bucket A" list. Then I tried to assign consequences to those things. First I could not find any natural consequences, then I looked for logical consequences - couldn't find those either. Then went on to try and figure out 'fines' so-to-speak (ever hear of the highway patrol approach?). Then I realized none of the fines could be things like 'do extra chores', 'write sentences or an apology letter', etc. It can't have anything to do with making him do something - because he won't do it, and then we would have to fine him for that too, since not doing what he is told is in bucket A. It would just perpetuate. So the fines have to be that he looses a privilege. Even then that is hard because I could tell him he can't go play outside - but he really needs that physical release of energy. I also see that I need to make the fines small enough so that he doesn't loose all of his privileges for today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week for things he did today. Know what I mean?? Because if he looses everything then he will just say I don't care, fine, whatever, and he won't change his behavior - it will just get worse. He is sooooo difficult.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TiredSoul, post: 380451, member: 3930"] I would never be able to get my difficult child to *do* something he doesn't want to do like writing sentences. It would never happen. Awhile ago I sat down and made a "bucket A" list. Then I tried to assign consequences to those things. First I could not find any natural consequences, then I looked for logical consequences - couldn't find those either. Then went on to try and figure out 'fines' so-to-speak (ever hear of the highway patrol approach?). Then I realized none of the fines could be things like 'do extra chores', 'write sentences or an apology letter', etc. It can't have anything to do with making him do something - because he won't do it, and then we would have to fine him for that too, since not doing what he is told is in bucket A. It would just perpetuate. So the fines have to be that he looses a privilege. Even then that is hard because I could tell him he can't go play outside - but he really needs that physical release of energy. I also see that I need to make the fines small enough so that he doesn't loose all of his privileges for today, tomorrow, and the rest of the week for things he did today. Know what I mean?? Because if he looses everything then he will just say I don't care, fine, whatever, and he won't change his behavior - it will just get worse. He is sooooo difficult. [/QUOTE]
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I've charted all the stims he has taken for nearly 3 years
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