I've come to hate Wednesdays

[comatheart]

Our insurance approves 7 days at a time. Wednesday is the big review meeting each week to determine if my son will stay in treatment.

The weekly anxiety is overwhelming!! I don't sleep, my stomach aches, I'm constantly nervous and my mind races. It's pure panic at the thought of him coming home.

For those of you that have sent your son/daughter to a rehab facility.... Is this normal???

I know he's not ready to come home and that's a major part of the problem here. I'm worried about the insurance company wanting to send him home, before he is ready. BUT I wonder, will I still feel this anxiety when he has completed more treatment and we all agree he is ready to come home?

AGHHH!!!

 

[Kathy813]

I can't answer that because my difficult child didn't have insurance coverage. We knew the price up front and bit the bullet. I can imagine, though, that would cause quite a lot of anxiety thinking your difficult child would have to leave before he is ready.

Don't get me started on insurance companies.

~Kathy

 

[Nancy]

Like Kathy our insurance company paid almost nothing, just the three days in detox. We paid for 57 days outselves. We were very worried when she came home, even though she went into an intensive outpatient program with the same facility. Not to scare you but she relapsed shortly after coming home. I don't think any longer in residential would have helped because she had the tools to stay clean and sober but then had to learn how to live that way. Besides, while being in residential she just learned more ways to hide her drug use and made friends with more drug users who were not serious about recovery.

I hate to be so pessimistic and it doesn't always turn out that way. Your difficult child could be one of those that gets it right away.

 

[comatheart]

Oh wow, I can't even imagine having to pay for all of this out of pocket! I wish this program had the option of a set 90 day stay, but it's individualized and when they say your kid is done, they're done. I was hoping he could get as close to 90 days of treatment as possible before he turned 18. When we went to family weekend though, it didn't seem like many of the kids stayed that long. (There were none on my son's team that had been there longer than 60 days) I wish I could just let go. Those 3 C's. I know that will come in time...

I guess I need to try and stay positive and be thankful he's in a program at all and HOPEFULLY he's letting some of what they are teaching him sink in. I think part of the reason I'm stressed about him coming home is the idea that he goes right back to using. If that's the case, he cannot live here at home anymore. We have to protect and shield his younger siblings. We've made that very clear to him. I really, really, really don't want to follow through on that threat.... (But I will if it comes down to it) My heart is heavy just thinking about it.

 

[susiestar]

I could go on for hours about the issues with insurance co's dictating medical care, but I won't. I completely remember the days when difficult child was in a psychiatric hospital and each Wed am they had a meeting at 7 am with the psychiatrist, tdocs and nurses to see what the plan was for the week and to figure out what to say to get the ins co to approve another week. That stress was not easy at all, esp because Wiz honeymooned for over a month.

I just took one day at a time, but it was a bit easier because Wiz had no choice to leave. I cannot imagine dealing with that on top of praying my child would not refuse to stay instead of giving into the one disease that convinces you that you are not sick at all.

I did what I could to keep my days full. I use cross stitch as a way to calm myself because it works for me. I took time each night to stitch while I watched a bit of tv and then I would go to bed and use either an audiobook or a guided meditation program to help me get to sleep. I also used an herbal tea and an herbal supplement designed to help promote quality sleep (insomnia runs in the family and it does a marathon with me). The herbal tea is Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer and it really helped through the day and as I stitched at night. The supplement helped me get to sleep at night. It wasn't perfect, but it helped me sleep and it didnt' make me groggy in the morning (more than usual, Know what I mean?? I hate mornings.). I also was on prozac which helped a great deal.

You might try these things if you haven't. Mostly though, it is just something you have to get through. Given the entire situation, it may be wise to describe these feelings to your doctor and to try some medication to help.

I hope things get better soon.