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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 220101" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>klmno, you said, "The odd thing is, we are both on the same poilitacl side and I swear, I have defended the military- my grief was previous poilitical positions and upset about those who voted for them, as well as she does, if she'd admit it."</p><p></p><p>And therein lies the problem - I also initially was friends because we seemed to have so much in common. From what I understand now, she "channels" people, adopting the characteristics and belief systems (superficially) of people she wants to be like. But there is nothing substantial behind it, it is a veneer overlaying something else. She learns to tell you what she thinks you want to hear and although she seems smart, underneath it all is little more than rat cunning.</p><p></p><p>A person whose belief system is so wrapped up in what other people tell her to believe, is going to seem to blow with the wind.</p><p>Example from the Aussie political system - at the time that Australia sent troops to Iraq with the US, our then PM was asked, "Will this make Australia more of a target for terrorists?" His answer was, "Don't be ridiculous! of course not!" but since then his own political party have admitted that this was not so. Other press releases, things announced, have been completely overturned.</p><p></p><p>Her view back then (I have the emails) - "Of course it won't make us more vulnerable!" </p><p>Then when her political party changed tack - "I've never believed anything else, I've always known it would make Australia a target."</p><p></p><p>This is not about the truths or otherwise of political statements; only that you can't know ahead of time what opinion a person will hold, when they blow with the wind. And if SHE believes you're doing/saying something wrong, she will attack, viciously, just as she would hope you would not attack her. </p><p></p><p>My cleaner is like this. Different topics get him going, but I have to be VERY careful about agreeing with him. One week he turned up and announced he was leaving his church, he had a fight with his pastor and there was no going back. "She is so controlling," he told me. I cautiously agreed, but said that someone in her position needed to be.</p><p></p><p>The next week they were best friends again. I was very glad I hadn't been as critical of her as I wanted to be!</p><p></p><p>There was a TV show looking at scientific evidence for Old Testament narrative (Egyptian plagues; Noah's Ark) and at one point the narrative was saying something like, "At this point there has not been any hard scientific findings of a boat on Mt Ararat."</p><p>My cleaner was walking past the TV at that point and said, "Marg, how can you call yourself a scientist and a Christian, and sit there and listen to this without objecting? I'm surprised at you, accepting such a statement!"</p><p>I replied, "It is a sound scientific statement. It's not saying it wasn't possible; but if it did happen, it was a long time ago and a boat made of wood or reeds, even covered in tar, is going to decay pretty fast." I quoted other scientists I know who have studied this and pointed out that the statement he challenged had nothing to do with belief and was not denying anything. He immediately backed down and made a statement that was almost the opposite.</p><p></p><p>Basically - he didn't really have a clue what he was talking about. A statement had been made which HE didn't like )"no evidence") and which he falsely misinterpreted as saying, "not possible." He then attacked ME for not challenging something that upset HIM.</p><p></p><p>He also calls me a heretic, often. He also calls me the most spiritual person he's ever met. He also calls his pastor the most spiritual person he's ever met. I've learned to not take anything he says on board; not coming from a man who freely told me and difficult child 1 that the reason the police had been a bit rough with him the previous day on the train (as witnessed by difficult child 1) was he had been .... (pleasuring himself; "self-abuse" in older dictionaries; "shaking hands with the unemployed") on the train. I assume the hidden cameras caught him. I have no idea how his court case went - I did not want to know any more about it, I felt that even him telling us about it was somehow like a little boy delighting in showing of the band-aids on his grazed knees.</p><p></p><p>So don't let it upset you, just take is as a useful warning that she's (at least in some areas) not exactly rational, and therefore cannot be reasoned with. Don't try to work her out, because nobody can; she changes according to the season and then denies she ever thought differently.</p><p></p><p>Like many of us on this site, you undoubtedly have better things to do with your time.</p><p></p><p>Only keep her on your email list if she has good jokes, enough to redeem her.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 220101, member: 1991"] klmno, you said, "The odd thing is, we are both on the same poilitacl side and I swear, I have defended the military- my grief was previous poilitical positions and upset about those who voted for them, as well as she does, if she'd admit it." And therein lies the problem - I also initially was friends because we seemed to have so much in common. From what I understand now, she "channels" people, adopting the characteristics and belief systems (superficially) of people she wants to be like. But there is nothing substantial behind it, it is a veneer overlaying something else. She learns to tell you what she thinks you want to hear and although she seems smart, underneath it all is little more than rat cunning. A person whose belief system is so wrapped up in what other people tell her to believe, is going to seem to blow with the wind. Example from the Aussie political system - at the time that Australia sent troops to Iraq with the US, our then PM was asked, "Will this make Australia more of a target for terrorists?" His answer was, "Don't be ridiculous! of course not!" but since then his own political party have admitted that this was not so. Other press releases, things announced, have been completely overturned. Her view back then (I have the emails) - "Of course it won't make us more vulnerable!" Then when her political party changed tack - "I've never believed anything else, I've always known it would make Australia a target." This is not about the truths or otherwise of political statements; only that you can't know ahead of time what opinion a person will hold, when they blow with the wind. And if SHE believes you're doing/saying something wrong, she will attack, viciously, just as she would hope you would not attack her. My cleaner is like this. Different topics get him going, but I have to be VERY careful about agreeing with him. One week he turned up and announced he was leaving his church, he had a fight with his pastor and there was no going back. "She is so controlling," he told me. I cautiously agreed, but said that someone in her position needed to be. The next week they were best friends again. I was very glad I hadn't been as critical of her as I wanted to be! There was a TV show looking at scientific evidence for Old Testament narrative (Egyptian plagues; Noah's Ark) and at one point the narrative was saying something like, "At this point there has not been any hard scientific findings of a boat on Mt Ararat." My cleaner was walking past the TV at that point and said, "Marg, how can you call yourself a scientist and a Christian, and sit there and listen to this without objecting? I'm surprised at you, accepting such a statement!" I replied, "It is a sound scientific statement. It's not saying it wasn't possible; but if it did happen, it was a long time ago and a boat made of wood or reeds, even covered in tar, is going to decay pretty fast." I quoted other scientists I know who have studied this and pointed out that the statement he challenged had nothing to do with belief and was not denying anything. He immediately backed down and made a statement that was almost the opposite. Basically - he didn't really have a clue what he was talking about. A statement had been made which HE didn't like )"no evidence") and which he falsely misinterpreted as saying, "not possible." He then attacked ME for not challenging something that upset HIM. He also calls me a heretic, often. He also calls me the most spiritual person he's ever met. He also calls his pastor the most spiritual person he's ever met. I've learned to not take anything he says on board; not coming from a man who freely told me and difficult child 1 that the reason the police had been a bit rough with him the previous day on the train (as witnessed by difficult child 1) was he had been .... (pleasuring himself; "self-abuse" in older dictionaries; "shaking hands with the unemployed") on the train. I assume the hidden cameras caught him. I have no idea how his court case went - I did not want to know any more about it, I felt that even him telling us about it was somehow like a little boy delighting in showing of the band-aids on his grazed knees. So don't let it upset you, just take is as a useful warning that she's (at least in some areas) not exactly rational, and therefore cannot be reasoned with. Don't try to work her out, because nobody can; she changes according to the season and then denies she ever thought differently. Like many of us on this site, you undoubtedly have better things to do with your time. Only keep her on your email list if she has good jokes, enough to redeem her. Marg [/QUOTE]
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