Jail questions....

[PatriotsGirl]

Little things are getting to me today....and I am curious if anyone knows anything about jail....

What kind of food are they given? I know my one time being arrested I was given a bologna sandwich for lunch but I wasn't there longer than the day. Wasn't even there for dinner thankfully.

Will they give her clean underwear??

Will she get any kind of medical care for the baby while in there?

Should I put money on her jail account or is that enabling?

 

[Marcie Mac]

From what I have heard food is edible, but not outstanding. I don't know about underwear and never thought to ask Danny. I did put money on the books so he could purchase some food and necessities like toothpaste, etc.

Look on your state's website and see if they have information on some of the questions. How long is she going to be in there for?

Marcie

 

[PatriotsGirl]

From what I have heard food is edible, but not outstanding. I don't know about underwear and never thought to ask Danny. I did put money on the books so he could purchase some food and necessities like toothpaste, etc.

Look on your state's website and see if they have information on some of the questions. How long is she going to be in there for?

Marcie

Her first court date was scheduled for May 1st - that was only to decide which court the case would go to. So, at least until then I assume....perhaps longer. I am still waiting to hear back from the Solicitor.

Do they not get a toothbrush and toothpaste?? Isn't that part of hygiene??

 

[Marcie Mac]

I think every jail is different - Danny had to buy that stuff, but I did go google and look at your jail website and am really impressed at how many things are addressed and information on support groups, etc and even a forum to post on. The one thing I couldn't find was anything to do with pregnant inmates but probably didn't dig far enough.

You may want to call the jail and address some of your concerns. Have you decided if you are going to go see her?

Marcie

 

[PatriotsGirl]

She is not in my county - she is about an hour away from me. I looked on their website, but couldn't find what I was looking for either.

If her court date is still on May 1st, I will go to that even though I don't think much will be done that day. I think I will put some money on her account then. I want her to be completely miserable for a little while. She has only been there since yesterday. I will give her the week for it to really hoover...

How much do you normally put on??

 

[DDD]

I agree that it varies alot evidently from one place to another. The website may give some answers. In our local jail they have a nurse and due to easy child/difficult child's Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) issues and medication needs I called and spoke to her. She was very pleasant, assured me he would get his medications etc. If you fear they are not aware of the pregnancy then it should be acceptable to call the nurse with that info.

The food is cheap and based on caloric intake required as well as cost control. Breakfast was often oatmeal or other hot cereal. on the other hand they had a few basic menus that they mixed up. I know this because easy child/difficult child only ate breakfast on the days that they had what he liked. Lunch was often bologna sandwiches but it varied a bit. Dinner also varied and although sharing food was against the rules....the guys would trade the dinner they didn't like with someone who in turn shared the breakfast or lunch meal they liked. Sigh.

The money we put into his account was often used for food and snacks. You could buy extra underwear, hygiene items, stationery etc. Although some people believe that to be enabling our choice was to contribute so we knew he would be full. Our family has always been big on eating and it was a relief for us to know he would have access. Likely we would have chosen that option even if he didn't have health issues.

I don't know about the female population but the males often played cards etc with the "ante" being snacks. It's not a easy child life in any jail but difficult child's adapt. Personally I absolutely increased my recitations of the Serenity Prayer because without a doubt you have to "accept the things you can not change" and correctional systems do things their way. I know you are worried and I am sending supportie hugs. DDD

 

[AmericanGirl]

Our local jail feeds them through McDonald's.

difficult child said they got Banquet meals where he went in Nov. they gave him nothing for clothing, toiletries, etc.

check to see if there's any info on their website.

you are doing GREAT at handling all this.

 

[Nancy]

PG I know you are worried about her but she has lived in far worse places than jail. I think she will be ok until May 1st or until you can talk to the solicitor to get more information. Is this a community jail or a downtown type jail she is held in? In our community jail they order food out for them.

 

[Marcie Mac]

How much money I put on was dependant on where he was. One of them had a web site that listed something like "gift boxes" lol but normally about 10 or 20 a week.

 

[PatriotsGirl]

It is a county jail....

 

[toughlovin]

My son spent two weeks in county jail a couple of years ago when he was 19. I dont think you have to worry about her being miserable enough, she will be. The good thing about jail is that the people there are waiting for sentancing and so I think most are on their best behavior so they dont get in more trouble... or at least that is what I told myself at the time.

I have no idea how the food was or anything else... but what we did do and what I would suggest is putting in a small amount in her account so she can get snacks etc. And accept collect jail calls from her (which at least here were expensive). My thought is both of those show you love her and i dont think that is enabling her. Bailing her out is enabling..... letting her know you love her and showign it is not in my book.

I will say we got the most phone calls we ever did from my son when he was in jail.... he had no one else to call and was bored to death so he called us!

TL

 

[PatriotsGirl]

I will say we got the most phone calls we ever did from my son when he was in jail.... he had no one else to call and was bored to death so he called us!

TL

She has not called - not once. I don't think she will. She would know that I am thoroughly disgusted and repulsed by what she has done and really don't have anything to say to her except I love her and she needs help.

I did go to a care package site for the jail - I put in her name and she could not be found, but I know she is still in custody. I am not going to take time off of work just to run up there and make sure she has money to buy things. That is a two and half hour round trip for me. So, if I cannot pull it up online soon, it will have to wait until her court date. I plan to be there for that one...if she is miserable for a week, well, hope it makes her not want to go back. Two days didn't do much so let's try a week.

I hate that she is there but I do realize she chose to do drugs while pregnant and that is why she is there. I hate that she is an addict, but she is choosing it by not accepting help. So, I am not feeling so guilty at the moment. My resolve is strengthening which is what I need....

 

[Nancy]

PG there is no way I would give her anything before she got in contact with you. If you provide her with ANYTHING now it just reinforces that you will come to her rescue. Just imagine, she sitting in jail and gets this care package as if she was in college and getting a care package for midterm exams. She needs to feel this. I know you want to rescue her, I know you feel bad for her any mom would. But it's not camp, it's jail. I certainly wouldn't be putting any money in any kind of fund for her to buy things there.

I know I sound harsh but please remember why she's there and what the end goal is.

 

[recoveringenabler]

PG, I agree with Nancy, I don't believe anything should be given to her unless/until she made a formal request of you. As Nancy said, this is jail not camp. My difficult child was in jail for 30 days and you have to buy everything, there are no toothbrushes or soap given to inmates. My difficult child said the food was horrid. I completely understand the huge desire to help her, especially since she is pregnant, but she is (hopefully) in the process of learning a big lesson and by making sure she is comfortable, you would be softening that lesson. This is more then likely much harder on you. Sending you lots of caring hugs, hang in there.............

 

[toughlovin]

Actually I also agree....I think I would wait to do anything until she contacts you.....i didn't realize she hadn't called you.

TL

 

[pinevalley]

My difficult child was in jail almost all last year, and he is back in jail now. When he first went into jail he did not receive any hygiene items from the jail. He had to buy everything that he needed out of his commissary account, - toothbrush, underwear, shampoo, deodorant. The guys only receive the commissary orders one day a week, so he did not have a toothbrush or even clean underwear for a week. All the inmates have to buy everything they need from their commissary account, including stamps and paper. My difficult child hated the food that they serve at jail. They are given bologna for lunch and dinner almost every day of the week. The guys in the jail spend most of their days watching TV and playing card games. They never go outside and do not get any exercise at all. My difficult child seems to be bored most of the time, because there is really nothing to do but sit around all day.

You daughter will not like being locked up, but this is probably a good thing. She will have lots of time to think about her life and the choices she has made. I was constantly scared when my difficult child was first sent to jail, because I worried about his safety. However he has been locked up with non-violent inmates, and they separate the gang members and keep them out of his area. I know now that my difficult child is safe, and he is not using drugs and getting high all the time. If you have any other questions about the commissary, phone usage or about jail, please feel free to pm me. I will be praying for your difficult child and her baby.