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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 656805" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>SWOT, when you read my posts do you see this: that I felt my son's illness or sadness to reflect on me...not because I do not love him but because I was missing something IN ME?</p><p></p><p>We know this is wrong, and we wish I was stronger and more whole. But there is more.</p><p></p><p>Could it not be, SWOT, that our mothers loved us but could not bear the idea that it was their fault...that they had harmed us...and it was that horrible idea that they were rejecting...not us?</p><p></p><p>My Mother could never tell me to my face that she was sorry. But she was. </p><p></p><p>I knew at the end that she loved me the best she could. It was not everything I needed...but at the end...it was enough. </p><p></p><p>What I know now, is that it was not my fault that she could not love me better than she did.</p><p></p><p>I needed attention, and protection, and to be listened to and considered. And was not.</p><p></p><p>And I know that she tried to blame me...because I needed what she could not give....She did this because of her terrible and deserved sense of guilt. </p><p></p><p>And at the end, I wished she had not suffered as she had. I loved her. And she loved me. And that was enough.</p><p></p><p>But it was wrong of me to take responsibility for that which was not my fault, not my responsibility. And this I did. And this was wrong, I know.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 656805, member: 18958"] SWOT, when you read my posts do you see this: that I felt my son's illness or sadness to reflect on me...not because I do not love him but because I was missing something IN ME? We know this is wrong, and we wish I was stronger and more whole. But there is more. Could it not be, SWOT, that our mothers loved us but could not bear the idea that it was their fault...that they had harmed us...and it was that horrible idea that they were rejecting...not us? My Mother could never tell me to my face that she was sorry. But she was. I knew at the end that she loved me the best she could. It was not everything I needed...but at the end...it was enough. What I know now, is that it was not my fault that she could not love me better than she did. I needed attention, and protection, and to be listened to and considered. And was not. And I know that she tried to blame me...because I needed what she could not give....She did this because of her terrible and deserved sense of guilt. And at the end, I wished she had not suffered as she had. I loved her. And she loved me. And that was enough. But it was wrong of me to take responsibility for that which was not my fault, not my responsibility. And this I did. And this was wrong, I know. [/QUOTE]
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