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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 385369" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I will keep your family in my prayers. When my gfgbro was finally willing to go to rehab to address his alcoholism it only took 1 time through to have him firmly embracing the 12 step life. Being a difficult child, my gfgbro had a full helping of stubbornness. When it was finally aimed at sobriety it was a force to be reckoned with. It may take more than one round of rehab, but in my opinion our difficult children have a higher chance of succeeding once they finally decide to stop abusing their substance of choice. All the determination that had them POSITIVE that those who said they were doing the wrong things were wrong, and kept them doing what they wanted to do, kicks in and they use it to help keep themselves clean and sober and attending meetings - even if they get pressure from friends or others to go and drink/drug.</p><p> </p><p>Hope that came out somewhat clearly. All I know is that most of the research I did when gfgbro went into rehab said that it takes many trips through rehab before an alcoholic or addict can stay clean and sober, but my gfgbro was able to use his very difficult child stubborn qualities to his advantage to keep from relapsing.</p><p> </p><p>Please know that you truly are NOT at fault, this was a combination of your son's genetics and choices. It would be helpful if you and/or husband were to go to alanon or narcanon because addiction truly is a family disease. You will need to learn new ways to have a relationship with him. His chances of a sober life go up dramatically if the family goes to alanon/narcanon. For the future, the one thing that my gfgbro says has helped more than anything else is that we, the family, have NEVER made it hard for him if he wants/needs to go to a meeting and needs someone to watch his daughter. Even if it is short notice, and even after 7 years of sobriety all he has to do is ask. I never thought anything of it until he said something to me about a year ago. I knew his ex's family hasgiven her a hard time about going to meetings after she went to rehab, and the more often she went the more pressure they applied because they thought she should just be able to stop needing support.</p><p> </p><p>Whatever happens, I hope that your family can learn new habits and patterns and begin to heal.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 385369, member: 1233"] I will keep your family in my prayers. When my gfgbro was finally willing to go to rehab to address his alcoholism it only took 1 time through to have him firmly embracing the 12 step life. Being a difficult child, my gfgbro had a full helping of stubbornness. When it was finally aimed at sobriety it was a force to be reckoned with. It may take more than one round of rehab, but in my opinion our difficult children have a higher chance of succeeding once they finally decide to stop abusing their substance of choice. All the determination that had them POSITIVE that those who said they were doing the wrong things were wrong, and kept them doing what they wanted to do, kicks in and they use it to help keep themselves clean and sober and attending meetings - even if they get pressure from friends or others to go and drink/drug. Hope that came out somewhat clearly. All I know is that most of the research I did when gfgbro went into rehab said that it takes many trips through rehab before an alcoholic or addict can stay clean and sober, but my gfgbro was able to use his very difficult child stubborn qualities to his advantage to keep from relapsing. Please know that you truly are NOT at fault, this was a combination of your son's genetics and choices. It would be helpful if you and/or husband were to go to alanon or narcanon because addiction truly is a family disease. You will need to learn new ways to have a relationship with him. His chances of a sober life go up dramatically if the family goes to alanon/narcanon. For the future, the one thing that my gfgbro says has helped more than anything else is that we, the family, have NEVER made it hard for him if he wants/needs to go to a meeting and needs someone to watch his daughter. Even if it is short notice, and even after 7 years of sobriety all he has to do is ask. I never thought anything of it until he said something to me about a year ago. I knew his ex's family hasgiven her a hard time about going to meetings after she went to rehab, and the more often she went the more pressure they applied because they thought she should just be able to stop needing support. Whatever happens, I hope that your family can learn new habits and patterns and begin to heal. [/QUOTE]
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