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Substance Abuse
Jerlee - new to forum 13 year old smoking pot
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 494759"><p>Welcome Jerlee.....Sorry you have to be here. My son also started smoking pot at 14 and had experimented with alcohol before that. He liked pot a lot more than alcohol. He ended up in trouble at school and we sent him to a wilderness program and then to a therapeutic boarding school. All of that did help postpone some of the major drug use which I think is helpful in the long run. However it did not solve some of the real underlying issues. </p><p></p><p>What I have come to believe since then is that kids who at 14 start smoking a lot of pot are trying to escape from other underlying issues... whether they be family problems, unresolved mental illness or something else. My son did have a good therapist at the time but we were not getting to his issues of anger at us and there were some other major issues at the time that we were not aware of. I wish I had understood better about some of his underlying trauma and had gotten at it... because I wonder then if we could have avoided the follow on drug problems.</p><p></p><p>So my thought is your daughter is smoking pot for a reason... there is something she is trying to escape from. I don't know what.. and she may not completely know either. I think the best thing to do first is to find her a good therapist (if she doesn't already have one) and start her in some fairly intensive therapy and if it makes sense do some family therapy. If you can get to the reason she is smoking pot now I think you have a better chance of preventing future drug addiction. And the sad truth is, it might not matter or make a difference.</p><p></p><p>Once they get older (my son is now 20) I think they really need to choose to get help before anything you do makes a difference.... but at 13 or 14 as a parent you have more influence (even if she acts like you don't) and more options. Do what you can to find out what those options are. </p><p></p><p>I think we as parents can get stuck on the drug use.... when at that age what we need to do is look for the underlying causes for the drug use. Later on I think the drug use becomes the major problem but at this young age I would look to see if you can figure out the causes and work on those.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 494759"] Welcome Jerlee.....Sorry you have to be here. My son also started smoking pot at 14 and had experimented with alcohol before that. He liked pot a lot more than alcohol. He ended up in trouble at school and we sent him to a wilderness program and then to a therapeutic boarding school. All of that did help postpone some of the major drug use which I think is helpful in the long run. However it did not solve some of the real underlying issues. What I have come to believe since then is that kids who at 14 start smoking a lot of pot are trying to escape from other underlying issues... whether they be family problems, unresolved mental illness or something else. My son did have a good therapist at the time but we were not getting to his issues of anger at us and there were some other major issues at the time that we were not aware of. I wish I had understood better about some of his underlying trauma and had gotten at it... because I wonder then if we could have avoided the follow on drug problems. So my thought is your daughter is smoking pot for a reason... there is something she is trying to escape from. I don't know what.. and she may not completely know either. I think the best thing to do first is to find her a good therapist (if she doesn't already have one) and start her in some fairly intensive therapy and if it makes sense do some family therapy. If you can get to the reason she is smoking pot now I think you have a better chance of preventing future drug addiction. And the sad truth is, it might not matter or make a difference. Once they get older (my son is now 20) I think they really need to choose to get help before anything you do makes a difference.... but at 13 or 14 as a parent you have more influence (even if she acts like you don't) and more options. Do what you can to find out what those options are. I think we as parents can get stuck on the drug use.... when at that age what we need to do is look for the underlying causes for the drug use. Later on I think the drug use becomes the major problem but at this young age I would look to see if you can figure out the causes and work on those. TL [/QUOTE]
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