Jess called tonight

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by carolanne, Oct 29, 2007.

  1. carolanne

    carolanne Member

    and we chatted for an hour. She was so clear and seemed happy. She said she's off the concerta and noticed a difference withing days. She said she doesn't feel like she's in a thick fog, doesn't cry like crazy and the twitching I mentioned is gone as well. I really enjoyed the call...her boyfriend said hi as well....very polite called me Mrs....I'm not thawing nor am I thinking things are changing....just enjoyed the call.

    I told husband about it and he kinda went off about her being a liar, a thief, tried to put me in jail...yada yada yada. I told him to shut his yap, she was still my daughter and I loved her just didn't love her sickness. He kept trying to get a fight going and I bluntly told him to go pick a fight at the bar and get his :censored2: kicked as he seemed to need one...than I walked away... :rofl:

    Yep, I have enjoyed the start to the week :thumbsup:

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!! :jack:

    Carolanne
     
  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    I hate it when my H is like that. Ugh, it seems to always be when I say something positive about difficult child...he finds the need to remind of all the bad stuff, as if I could forget. It's good that you didn't let him goad you into an argument and chose instead to enjoy the little phone visit you had.

    Good luck to Jess~
     
  3. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Good for you standing up to husband like that. I should have learned how to do that a long time ago.
     
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I am glad you are so happy that your pumpkin is bouncing with glee. :smile:
     
  5. jbrain

    jbrain Member

    I'm so glad for you--sorry husband wouldn't let you just enjoy the call for what it was. I expect he is worried that you will let your boundaries down and get hurt. Sounds like you aren't doing that, you were just happy to hear your dtr sounding well! I think we all get it here....
    Jane
     
  6. ScentofCedar

    ScentofCedar New Member

    Dang, girl! :smile:

    I am glad to hear that Jess is doing better.

    My husband used to take up for me, too. I think they become offended for us when they see the way our children treat us.

    And sometimes, they are right to do that, and to remind us to hold our hearts back just a little, until we have proof that the change is real.

    husband loves you very much, I think.

    Barbara
     
  7. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: ScentofCedar</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband used to take up for me, too. I think they become offended for us when they see the way our children treat us. And sometimes, they are right to do that, and to remind us to hold our hearts back just a little, until we have proof that the change is real. Barbara</div></div>

    Barbara, I can't tell you how many times, after the argument, after difficult child's meltdown and after I stormed away from H, he would tell me that it hurts him so much to see how much I do for everyone and then see me treated so poorly by own children. That makes so much sense - thanks for bringing that up. I need to be reminded of H's motives at times.
     
  8. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    My husband is the same way about L. He rolls his eyes and belittles anything she does. I let him have it a while back that he has to let up on her. She gets to make her own mistakes and we have to let her and hope that she learns from them. He tried pulling it again last week, and I reminded him a little bit about his behavior when he was 24 (one of the benefits of a long marriage) and he had to admit that some of what she is doing is just normal growing up stuff, becuase he did it to. With me!
     
  9. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: witzend</div><div class="ubbcode-body">My husband is the same way about L. He rolls his eyes and belittles anything she does. </div></div>

    I really hate it when H automatically assumes difficult child took something when anything goes missing. That really burns me up. And he doesn't even think about it for a minute - he immediately begins accusing and it's hurtful to me, let alone difficult child. :grrr:

    And he always expects the worst from her...how is she messing up today, what is wrong with her life today, who is she bothering today, her rooms a mess, is she showering. I get annoyed about those things also, but I don't will them to happen by constantly thinking they will! Jeesh. Oh my, didn't mean to hijack the OP. Sorry!
     
  10. KFld

    KFld New Member

    My s2bx was the same way with difficult child. Even when he was doing good and what he was supposed to do, he always found a way to belittle him. My difficult child grew up always thinking that his father didn't like him. I used to get in the middle and try to fix it, but I learned through counseling that it wasn't my job. My relationship with both of my children are my business, and his relationship with them is his business. My children love and respect me. I'm not saying they don't love him, but there have been many times they have had trouble respecting him because he doesn't always have respect for them. He doesn't get that you have to earn respect and it's recipricle (did I spell that right?) You guys know what I mean.
     
  11. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Carolanne

    I'm glad you had a pleasant phone visit with difficult child.

    Glad you stood up to H and told him how what he said made you feel.

    Hugs
     
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