Job starting so difficult child must play???

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by exhausted, Mar 17, 2012.

  1. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    difficult child starts Tuesday at the "Arches". Her store at the airport won't open for awhile (will be training at nearby store) and she has to get security clearance etc. She scheduled the appointment (which minors have to have parents there) for Wed. at 2:30-ummmm husband and I are working? "Oh I think you can just sign the paper work." It's an FBI background check and fingerprinting, I don't think so. I make her call the security guy to find out. We can have our signature notorized. So there goes my lunch and some of husband time so we can meet at the bank to do this on Monday. There was no thank you or anything coming from difficult child, just expectation.

    Meanwhile, she went to friends last night and still has not come home-it's 2:42 pm here! She did not tell us she was staying overnight. She has not called. I am not calling. But we will be expected to transport her to work when the bus schedule doesn't jive with her working hours. We will have to buy the first pass again. We will have to hound her for the money she is suppose to give us each paycheck to pay us back for the stealing, gas, and fines. We have to support the good stuff and I want her on her feet by next Sep. so she can be on her own.

    Last night my brother called to let me know my mother fell yet again and she is now bed ridden and there are major care issues (she only has 12 hours of nursing and she can't get out of bed). He has had to take time off of work YADDA, YADDA-MORE STRESS.. Never the less, I have to step in and help get all the paper work and calls done to Medicare and Dr. and in home nursing. She should have been addmitted-I'm so mad. difficult child sits through this whole heart wrenching thing, knows I'm stressed, and decides that she is going to add to the stress by not coming home. She does not care about her dad nor I one bit. How did I raise this kind of heartless being?

    As I am writing this she calls-"Hi, Mom!" Like nothing was wrong. "OMG mom you knew exactly where I was and you are still trippin?" " Umm no I am not trippin (big lie, I pretty much am), but you will be trippin your sorry little a@@ all the way home on foot, see yah!"
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's truly amazing to me that they have no feelings of empathy for others. I'm sorry about your mom, it's so difficult to deal with difficult child's and aging parents at the same timde, you rstress level must be over the top.

  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Sorry about your mom. She must be discouraged. My mom is close in age and is still taking care of my sister's kids and out and about I can't imagine seeing her like that yet. Sending her prayers and comfort.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

  5. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Wow, exhausted, your board name is very aprapo. You certainly must be exhausted dealing with a sick parent and a difficult child and teaching, too. I can so relate. I was supposed to go to Florida to visit my dying mom the day after Christmas three years ago. At 2:30am Christmas night, we got a call from the county jail saying that our difficult child had been arrested for a DUI.

    They can certainly pick the best times, can't they? I just went ahead and left town with my easy child and left my husband to deal with it. She had the nerve to act ugly to my husband after he bailed her out. Looking back, I wish that we had just left her in jail. As usual, we bailed her out and cleaned up her mess.

    That's a mistake we won't make again.


  6. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Oh the self centeredness and entitlement of our difficult children is apalling isn't it. I do think this is true of most teenagers this age though... but it is worse with a difficult child.

    And hugs about your mom.... I think those of us with young difficult children and ill parents are really in the sandwhich generation.....and getting squeezed. My father is very elderly and is coming to the end of his life.... and it is hard dealing with that as well as worrying about my son.

    Take care of you and set limits on what you can and will do and what you won't. You don't owe her rides or anything like that.

  7. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    I am sending supportive thoughts to you. You really must be exhausted!
  8. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not



    I am sorry about your Mom...what a tough situation!

    And I don't know if this helps, but I don't think your difficult child "knew" that you were under stress and decided to add to it - she genuinely knows nothing of the experiences of anyone but herself. (For me, this perspective helps me be a little less angry, because it shifts the problem from difficult child deliberately being hurtful - to a difficult child being a difficult child. I know it doesn't really change anything...)

    more (((hugs)))
  9. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    DF - actually, it does change something. It redirects the anger... from being mad at the person to being mad at the GFGness. The benefit comes later... if and when some of the GFGness reduces, there is less personal anger to have to resolve in the relationship.