Jody here, new username. Advice needed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Doglover8, Sep 30, 2014.

  1. Doglover8

    Doglover8 New Member

    Okay so I haven't been around in awhile. Needing advice. My difficult child is 16 now. Shes got 4 F's and one D- and a B. She smokes pot all the time and cigarettes. She's also now decided she is gay and has a girlfriend. She is very public about it. She can't live at home, so she's just kind of out there. She wouldnt go to school, but she wanted to do everything else. She was sick from bronchitis, from her heavy smoking. She missed over a week, but since then continues to miss. She has been out sick more than half the time since school started on August 28th. She did spend the night last night and was super good, but i can't let her back in for good. I make sure she's safe at night and where she is. She has gone back to her old foster home (not in care). They love her and are watching out for her too. I was started to have a mental breakdown like I have done before and I'm so not going there again if I can help it. It took me over a year to get back on track. I don't care what sex she is interested in, and as I say that it still doesn't sound truthful to me as I hear myself say it. Ugh. I like the girl and she's very nice, I just wish she weren't so open about it. I am afraid she will be hurt over it. She is going to homecoming with this girl this weekend. There isn't anything that i can do about it. Does anyone here have an openly gay teenager or do you know of teenagers that are in a relationship with their same sex. Any advice how to move past this.

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  2. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Welcome back, Jody. I'm so sorry for your hurt.
    Your daughter is definitely mixing up things. I'm sorry about the smoking and bronchitis.
    Good idea to detach. Especially since her former foster family still sees her; that gives her something to fall back on, from what it sounds like.
    I have no experience or advice here, just hugs.
  3. Katherine61

    Katherine61 Running on empty

    Hi Jody, no I don't have a gay daughter or son, but my heart does go out to you. I agree with Terry, you have to detach. You can love and care from a distance. Sometimes that is all we can do. You cannot risk your own health.
    I'm sending you a gentle hug.
  4. Confused

    Confused Active Member

    I hope your daughter feels better soon and quits the pot and cigs, that's the first important thing. Of course school is next. Your difficult child is experimenting her sexuality she may decide one day to be with a boy again, be Bi or yes, lesbian. I havent been through this but am sure it would be hard. But regardless, your daughter needs your love, you dont have to agree with her choice or accept it. You also need to worry about you like the others said. I hope the best for you and your daughter.
  5. Katherine61

    Katherine61 Running on empty

    I understand the grades...R is normally a A and B student, but during our last therapy session I found out he had been hiding progress report. This grades don't look good at this moment. Report cards will come out in a week or so. What I don't understand about our school is their progress reports will say the kids are doing bad, but when you get the report cards theirs all good grade.