John - Kate - 8 = Sad

[DammitJanet]

Does anyone remember the shows where Kate has screamed across stores "JOHN, oh JOHN!" at the top of her lungs to get him to come to her beck and call? She was irritated with her couple of kids while he was keeping the rest of them occupied. I can understand her needing his help but to call him like a dog is uncalled for. I would have left her standing there and called a cab.

I know its tough to take care of 8 kids. I did it for two weeks once and know I only got a taste and it almost killed me. Heck, my two grands almost put me in a coma if I have them for any length of time!

 

[witzend]

Loth has a good point about child laws in intertainment. Legally you are only supposed to put a child in front of a camera or under the lights a few minutes every day. It gets longer as the child gets older, but not by a lot. They get a couple of hours a day at most. Are they bypassing labor laws by acting as though this is a documentary?

 

[Lothlorien]

Tinamarie....yes, I agree about pulling the plug on the show, but then how do they afford the things they've become accustomed to? I don't think they are willing to give up the big house and the fancy cars and all the vacations they've been given, so they will manage to keep this show or some form thereof going. This show had made them fairly wealthly....unfortunately at the expense of their marriage and children.

I have watched the show occasionally, if nothing else is on. I have seen how she speaks to him and how he seems he wished he were somewhere else. I have gotten to the point, where I'm just not interested it watching it. I was actually perturbed that the entire weekend was dedicated to the show and nothing else that I like to watch on that channel was on.

 

[Star*]

I think originally they thought - TV! This will be a GREAT way to accumulate and solicitate funds to help raise this family. Then someone said "Hey what about a reality show?" and we'll pay you (pushes contract in front of pregnancy weary Mom and overloaded dad) and their eyes went -OMG do you KNOW what we could do with that?

SO they did. And like anything else - for a while it's fun. Then the P people invade their lives which they will do (DUH YOU ARE ON TV ALL THE TIME) and you start snapping at each other. WHO wouldn't? Eight kids and now everyone following you around making a show out of every little thing you do - and you forgot you signed or maybe NOW you remember why you signed a contract or better yet why tv execs had you sign a contract.

You're kids are older -people aren't viewing your day to day life as much as they were at first and so you write a book. The book is a great idea -until you really realized WHAT is involved in touring. But then again - maybe it's what you need as a woman raising 8 kids - a VACATION---Lord I sure would. And I'd run SCREAMING to the door.

So to keep this lifestyle you agreed in the first place, then got comfy and now you want the comfy without the buttons and P people and your show is slipping in ratings - so you write a book and its' NOT really doing what everyone told you it would - so HOW do you get your life back?

I'm sure there is a clause in their contract that says if they don't do X .....X can happen. Problem is we don't know what the X in either case is. It looks like the brother and sis-in-law are tearing them apart, and it seems like there is a possible affair or a poor judgement moment - but what if it's as close as they could get to having what we all think is a "big rift" and they are all sitting back going - SEE....they all bought it - everyone checked in to see if the man and woman with 8 kids are falling apart. Because fewer people each week were checking in to see how the boring man and woman with 8 kids were doing mundane, daily chores.

It's either a publicity stunt to raise raitings OR it's a red herring so they can end the dog and pony show, and get out of this contract and find a way to a normal life. I hope it's the latter...and that they are fine, and just tired of being under a microscope. X8

 

[DammitJanet]

I loved watching boring man and woman with 8 kids doing mundane life. Thats what I want to see. Show me kids learning to ride a bike or fight over a toy. I wanted to see them getting potty trained or throwing a tantrum and getting sent to time out. It made them real to me.

All this new stuff with book tours and publicity junk is just too much like Hollywood for me.

Now I like Table for 12 better.

 

[DazedandConfused]

I'm a Kate and my husband is a Jon. I have a strong personality and can be demanding. Yes, sometimes I forget to speak with kindness and can be sharp. husband tells me that is one of the reasons he married me. No, he doesn't like it when I speak too sharply, but he knows who I am and that I love him very much.

I didn't watch the show all the time, but I did catch it on occasion. I'm sad to learn of their shaky marriage. I agree with Star, I don't think they really knew where it was going when they started this five years ago.

I'm rooting for them for them to hang in there. Jon always struck me as being the reluctant father. Still, part of wants me to tell him to buck up and get through this! My sense that this isn't about "stepping out", but about her liking this lifestyle and him hating it.

You know, part of me also says "oh boo hoo" for poor Jon. So, he stays home and takes care of the kids. If the situation were reversed, and he was doing the book tours, would this be such an issue? I don't think so.

Yes, it has become rather Hollywood.

If anyone is a DOG, it's Kate's brother. What a pathetic little creep! My siblings and I have had some pretty bad rows and I would NEVER, EVER, speak negatively about them to a neighbor let alone a national TV show. He should have kept his mouth closed. It's not helpful and only hurts his nieces and nephews even more to speak badly about her. Disgusting.

 

[DammitJanet]

Oh I agree they need to push past this and think about why they got married and why they decided to have these kids. Its not like these kids were accidents. They were very well planned. Now the parents need to act like the adults they are. If for no other reason...my gosh...can you even imagine the custody issues and child support involved! UGH!

As far as Kates brother? What a jerk.

 

[donna723]

I've been watching "table for 12" too. Those people seem to be amazingly laid back about it all, not so stressed out, and they look like they laugh a lot! And these people have TWO sets of twins plus their sextuplets, one of which has cerebral palsy and requires a lot of extra care. And they were doing it all on a police officer's salary!

I can sympathize with Kate in some ways. My sister in law never talked down to my brother or their kids like Kate does but she's one of those controlling, super organized take-charge types. But quite honestly, she almost had to be! They had three sons plus my brother and they'd all just sit there like four big lumps unless she told them exactly what to do and when!

 

[DammitJanet]

I think maybe Table for 12 did it better because they came in later in the kids lives? They also seem much more laid back. Could be all the Ragu...lol.

 

[everywoman]

Honestly---take away the big house and cars and trips---and on the surface they are two very harried, overworked, overloaded parents trying to raise their children the best they know how. I feel for them. I'm sure that when all of this started---they were in their twenties, they had no idea how this would affect them. They made a choice and every choice in life takes you down a new path---you never know what lies at the end of it---and every path has it positive and negative turns. In the end, it will be what it will be. I'm facing a similar situation with foster daughter---minus the money and the cars and the trips. But her problems are so similar to Kate's. She is overbearing, married too young, had children too quickly, was not prepared for the hard work that it all takes. She and her husband have split---within months both are living with other SO's and the poor little girls are shipped back and forth. I find it all just so very sad.

 

[amazeofgrace]

all I know is when I brought the show up at my church group about a year ago, all the men in the room cringed, they were not fans, not too many men are. Kate comes across as harsh on camera imagine her off. Not to say having 8 kids doesn't warrant a high level of frustration on both of their parts, lets be real. I saw the change when she went from clipping coupons to major exspensive trips to the spa, sadly I do believe it's gone to her head and he is home unemployed, while she's moving ahead full throttle, men do not always handle that very well. all very sad though.....

 

[svengandhi]

I had to shut it off. As someone who is staying with my cheating husband solely for the sake of my children, I couldn't bear to watch a version of my life played out on TV. They have better financial options than I do and they're younger; maybe if they split, they and their kids will all be happier.

 

[witzend]

I'm thinking that a "reluctant father" shouldn't have 1 child, let alone 8 children. He didn't think it maybe wasn't a great idea to implant 7 eggs after twins? Then he didn't think it wasn't a great idea to play your children's lives out for money in this day and age when millions of people will watch eagerly when you stumble? I guess these folks just aren't very good thinker throughers.

Word from TLC insiders is that:

Gosselin initially refused counseling completely, despite the shambolic state of her marriage, but agreed to the sessions only if she would get another two seasons.

Selfish, selfish people who still are not putting their children's welfare first. And I'm not thrilled with TLC, either.

P.S. "Negotiations to get TLC's cameras in on the sessions for use on the show itself are reportedly underway."

 

[Shari]

Word from TLC insiders is that:

Selfish, selfish people who still are not putting their children's welfare first. And I'm not thrilled with TLC, either.

P.S. "Negotiations to get TLC's cameras in on the sessions for use on the show itself are reportedly underway."

That's kinda the gist I was getting from the show, even the few times I watched it, and that was quite some time ago - regardless of him and his problems, she's eating the attention (and salary) up...and now at the expense of her family.

I won't watch it again.

 

[DammitJanet]

I cant say I wont watch it because I would be lying. I still think the kids are adorable and I love watching them. The little girl and her alligator is so cute...lol. I also get so tickled at the 2 or 3 that still hang on to little blankies or cloth diapers to cuddle with at night. I cant remember right now what they call them. Im anxious to see them starting school. The older two are really growing up. I always thought Maddie was a difficult child in the making. She has quite the attitude and moodiness. I love seeing what they eat.

So I will be watching...but to see the kids. I really dont care what the parents do.

 

[DDD]

Let's play a game.

Everyone who got married and had babies believing life would be perfect raise your hand.

Everyone who got married and had babies who still believed life would be perfect TEN years later, raise your hand.

Hmmmmmmmm....I "think" there are alot fewer hands raised in the after ten game. I won't even ask the question for after 20 or 30.

Life's rough. Life with everyone watching you must be horrible. DDD

 

[witzend]

I agree that life with everyone watching is more difficult. But they are adults and know how to make that stop. Instead they're renegotiating the contract because there's more money in it now that there's self-imposed strife.

 

[Fran]

Somehow, the human element comes through. I think that is the draw.
Who doesn't feel like they made a decision without really thinking the consequences or understanding them?
None of us make the perfect decisions and hopefully it allows us to understand someone else's imperfection.

I'm sure there are many husbands who feel beleagured or wives who are assertive and driven. Or husbands who are assertive and driven with wives who feel beleagured. It makes Jon and Kate just like us. If you take away the cameras they are still a couple who are struggling how to make a marriage work or to get through this low point and to raise decent kids.

The national conversation about this couple seems to allow us to verbalize what we like and dislike in marriages. It's probably therapeutic in that you realize that you aren't the only one who is struggling in a marriage with stress, changes, exhaustion, worry, disinterest in each other and possible changes from the person they were when they got married. It doesn't have to be because of the camera or 8 kids or publicity. They are dealing with the stuff all of us deal with in the highs and lows of marriage.

I can't help but hope that they try to find a way to like the person that they married so that they can move into a better chapter in their married life.
in my humble opinion, of course.

 

[DammitJanet]

Fran....true. I know that when my kids where their kids ages it was one of the hardest times in our relationship. I know it would have been even harder if we had 8 kids. Or we had cameras covering us all the time. Or both. I think relationships go through cycles where you really dont have that all encompassing starry-eyed love when times are tough and you are in the "this is really hard work" stage. You still love each other deep down but you are in the trenches and have to work hard at pulling together. I think this is when many couples fall apart. It just isnt so much fun anymore. There are bills to pay, kids to raise, jobs, all that adult stuff.

I know we went through a long period of time where we just put one foot in front of the other because we had kids.

 

[Fran]

Janet, I agree completely.
You have to start with love and attraction but marriage is much more involved and complicated.