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J's difficulty with friendships
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 607864" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>While ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are different, there are a lot of similarities. I've often said I expect ADHD to end up on the spectrum one day. One thing about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), which may or may not be true of ADHD (you will have to investigate that) is that Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions, which is why they fly off the handle so quickly and have meltdowns, EVEN AS ADULTS SOMETIMES (depending on the person). If J. has problems regulating his emotion, that needs to be included with the social skills training...identifying his emotions and learning how to take control of them. </p><p></p><p>It is normal for socially awkward kids to find older/younger friends and to like to hang around with adults too. These age brackets are far more forgiving of social gaffaws than same-age peers who have strict expectations that socially inept kids do not even know, let alone understand. Often they must be text book taught. These kids AND adults (I am one of them) miss social cues, blurt things out that may not be diplomatic (often they don't even understand the rules of and reasons for diplomacy) and are quite impulsive (yes, even adults). That turns others off. You do get rejected.</p><p></p><p>I have been aware that I do best one-on-one with people and am just now reading about how to socialize appropriately in a group because at my age, many enjoyable events are group-oriented and I don't want to keep scaring people off without realizing it. If people, including kids, come on too strong, have steadfast, inflexible opinions, don't listen well to others and can not read body language...it can be a rocky ride in life's social arena. I think a parent can read about social skills training for kids and teach it appropriately to a child. It may not make things perfect, but it can help the child do better. I do not think that either exposure to other kids or kids just watching other kids socialize computes much with differently wired kids/adults. They really need things pointed out to them that they miss.</p><p></p><p>I know you can help J with this. You are a good teacher.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 607864, member: 1550"] While ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) are different, there are a lot of similarities. I've often said I expect ADHD to end up on the spectrum one day. One thing about Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), which may or may not be true of ADHD (you will have to investigate that) is that Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids tend to have a lot of trouble regulating their emotions, which is why they fly off the handle so quickly and have meltdowns, EVEN AS ADULTS SOMETIMES (depending on the person). If J. has problems regulating his emotion, that needs to be included with the social skills training...identifying his emotions and learning how to take control of them. It is normal for socially awkward kids to find older/younger friends and to like to hang around with adults too. These age brackets are far more forgiving of social gaffaws than same-age peers who have strict expectations that socially inept kids do not even know, let alone understand. Often they must be text book taught. These kids AND adults (I am one of them) miss social cues, blurt things out that may not be diplomatic (often they don't even understand the rules of and reasons for diplomacy) and are quite impulsive (yes, even adults). That turns others off. You do get rejected. I have been aware that I do best one-on-one with people and am just now reading about how to socialize appropriately in a group because at my age, many enjoyable events are group-oriented and I don't want to keep scaring people off without realizing it. If people, including kids, come on too strong, have steadfast, inflexible opinions, don't listen well to others and can not read body language...it can be a rocky ride in life's social arena. I think a parent can read about social skills training for kids and teach it appropriately to a child. It may not make things perfect, but it can help the child do better. I do not think that either exposure to other kids or kids just watching other kids socialize computes much with differently wired kids/adults. They really need things pointed out to them that they miss. I know you can help J with this. You are a good teacher. [/QUOTE]
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