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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 570300" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>Malika, you may want to prepare yourself to the possibility that you will neither find out what is 'wrong with J' (as in definite diagnosis) nor does he become 'normal.' It seems that ICD definitions (or at least how they are evaluated) for certain disorders are much stricter than DSM and North America. So we will have more kids that are not quite normal (however you define that) but will not be troubled enough for diagnosis. As you know, mine kind of is one of those. J's troubles are not obvious or very severe and he is bright and charming boy, he may well always compensate his weaknesses well enough to never really 'make it' to any clear diagnosis. That will not mean that he doesn't and will not have his special challenges and that you don't have to work with him harder than with more average child. But still, being able to compensate, to raise on the challenge is also a good thing. While with kids accommodations etc. are easier to get if you have diagnosis and clear situation and while also adult life can be with accommodations, difference between adult who needs accommodations and adult who is able to cope with their challenges mostly on their own can mean quite a big difference in lifestyle and life quality. So while just now it would feel so much better to know, what is going on, J's ability to compensate, to catch up and cope can be a huge advantage for him in future.</p><p></p><p>Part of your issues may be a strict culture around you. But be prepared to also that if you are able to move to Morocco it may turn out that J isn't that typical for an Moroccan boy either even though you now feel like that. After all while cultures may differ a lot, people do differ much less. A kid who is different from other children in one place is likely to be different from other children also in other culture after they spend some time in that culture and with those expectations. There is also something I have been thinking saying for you and I'm willing to admit I'm quite out of Morocco's current situation and I may be prejudiced but I hope you think few things before moving prmanently to Morocco. Before leaving there on hopes of more understanding culture for J, you may also want to find out about services for learning disabled in there if you have worries with J having learning difficulties. An other thing you may want to think (and yeah, I always think the worst, I'm neurotic and all that) is Morocco's judicial system. You are raising a lively boy. Lively boys are prone to stupid stunts, stupid stunts are at times against the laws. With some bad luck lively boys (especially teenage lively boys) may end up to situations there they will face judical consequences. Severity of those consequences for very similar deeds (that can often be more youthful follies than any hardened criminal behaviour) can be very different in different countries.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 570300, member: 14557"] Malika, you may want to prepare yourself to the possibility that you will neither find out what is 'wrong with J' (as in definite diagnosis) nor does he become 'normal.' It seems that ICD definitions (or at least how they are evaluated) for certain disorders are much stricter than DSM and North America. So we will have more kids that are not quite normal (however you define that) but will not be troubled enough for diagnosis. As you know, mine kind of is one of those. J's troubles are not obvious or very severe and he is bright and charming boy, he may well always compensate his weaknesses well enough to never really 'make it' to any clear diagnosis. That will not mean that he doesn't and will not have his special challenges and that you don't have to work with him harder than with more average child. But still, being able to compensate, to raise on the challenge is also a good thing. While with kids accommodations etc. are easier to get if you have diagnosis and clear situation and while also adult life can be with accommodations, difference between adult who needs accommodations and adult who is able to cope with their challenges mostly on their own can mean quite a big difference in lifestyle and life quality. So while just now it would feel so much better to know, what is going on, J's ability to compensate, to catch up and cope can be a huge advantage for him in future. Part of your issues may be a strict culture around you. But be prepared to also that if you are able to move to Morocco it may turn out that J isn't that typical for an Moroccan boy either even though you now feel like that. After all while cultures may differ a lot, people do differ much less. A kid who is different from other children in one place is likely to be different from other children also in other culture after they spend some time in that culture and with those expectations. There is also something I have been thinking saying for you and I'm willing to admit I'm quite out of Morocco's current situation and I may be prejudiced but I hope you think few things before moving prmanently to Morocco. Before leaving there on hopes of more understanding culture for J, you may also want to find out about services for learning disabled in there if you have worries with J having learning difficulties. An other thing you may want to think (and yeah, I always think the worst, I'm neurotic and all that) is Morocco's judicial system. You are raising a lively boy. Lively boys are prone to stupid stunts, stupid stunts are at times against the laws. With some bad luck lively boys (especially teenage lively boys) may end up to situations there they will face judical consequences. Severity of those consequences for very similar deeds (that can often be more youthful follies than any hardened criminal behaviour) can be very different in different countries. [/QUOTE]
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