Just a funny.....

[JJJ]

Some doctor on television this morning said the way to achieve inner peace

is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house

to see things I had started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the

house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of

shhhardonay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of vocka, a pockage of Prunglies,

tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the

Chesescke an

a box a chocolets. Yu haf no idr who frkin gud I fel.

 

[susiestar]

Amen sister!

 

[TeDo]

Love it, Love it, Love it!!! Thanks for the laugh. You don't know how I needed that!

 

[JJJ]

Grandmas don't know everything...

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days.
He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what's that thing called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?"

She was a little taken back, but she decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling."

Little Tony said, "Oh, OK", and went back outside to play with the other kids.

A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it isn't called sexual intercourse, it's called bunk beds, and Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you."

 

[JJJ]

and this boy is surely a difficult child....

My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly.

One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.

Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.

I asked him if he needed to go, and he said 'No.' I kept thinking 'Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me.'

Then I said, 'Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?'

'No,' he replied.

I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.

Soooooo, I asked one more time, 'Danny did you have an accident?' This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled 'SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!'

While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

 

[Star*]

Took me a minute.......but THAT should have come with a spit warning........

ROFL

 

[Hound dog]