Shari
IsItFridayYet?
easy child 2 lives primarily with her mother. We have her every Wednesday and send her to school every Thursday morning (unless there's no school, then we have to provide care for her), then every other weekend (Friday 6pm-Sunday6pm) thru the school year, and at least half of all breaks.
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Her mom's house is 50 yards max from her maternal grandma's house in the middle of 40 acres of woods, built for mom by grandma. "Hermit" and "silver spoon" and "paranoid" does not begin to describe these people. Grandma provides everything for easy child 2; clothes at mom's house, food, medicine, medical care, mom never has to take a day off of work when easy child is sick or has to go to the doctor. Grandma gets easy child out of bed in the morning, gets her to school, gets her off the bus, usually feeds her supper, then easy child goes to mom's for the remainder of the evening (couple hours, maybe) and usually back to grandma's to sleep. Heck, grandma even feeds the pets and does the laundry, which she goes to mom's house and picks up off the floor. Anytime mom needs a babysitter, grandma is there, therefore she rarely, if ever, has to call us as backup. If grandma can't watch easy child, mom will usually call her other ex-husband first to watch easy child, just to avoid giving us any extra time. (we're friends with her ex and her older daughter with ex, who verifies that yes, she does this to avoid extra time with us).
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This winter the kids missed a lot of school due to snow. Several of the days were Thursdays when easy child was with us, and since one of us had to stay home with difficult child, anyway, we kept easy child with us instead of sending her to grandmas. One period her mom and grandma lost electricity and we did not, so she stayed with us for 4 "extra" days, went back to her mom's on a Tuesday. Her mom called later that night asking if we wanted her on our regular Wed. Of course, we said yes, and she said that was fine, she just figured we were tired of her. It didn't matter to her, she said, she doesn't come home on Wed nights, anyway, that's her and her hubby's date night, but she could send her to grandma's if we were tired of her.
***
I was off on President's Day, and easy child wanted to stay with me and difficult child, so she asked mom and mom said yes, she could stay til mom got off work. School was cancelled that Thursday, also, so she stayed home with us again that day, went back to mom's when mom got off work. Her uncle on husband's side got married that Friday night. Her mom refused to let her go because she'd spent too much time with us already that week (mind you no time was taken from mom because mom was at work).
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Also, we rarely can "swap" weekends because mom and her new hubby make plans to do things without the kids on the weekends they don't have the kids, so where as we try to arrange to INCLUDE easy child, we can't usually trade weekends cause it interrupts her EXCLUDING easy child (does that make sense?). Every time she's had something come up and wanted her home early on our weekend, we've obliged (which is rare because her hubby's 3 kids are difficult child's (untreated) so when they have his kids (which coincides with when they have easy child), they don't leave the house). Even last summer, when mom got married and took a 2 week honeymoon, easy child stayed with us for the 2 weeks. Since she stayed with us both weeks they were gone instead of staying with grandma during the week that should have been her mom's week, we had to give up a week later. Her mom wasn't going to see her during those 2 weeks regardless of where easy child stayed, but we do our best to keep the peace and bit our tongues...
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April was our annual Easter party and then we took a weekend trip to Kentucky for the Derby Festival, so easy child stayed over 2 Sundays in a row on "our" weekends.
***
So late last week, I get an email from her mom, griping at ME for making a habit of taking extra time with easy child, and how it was affecting her relationship and stealing time away from her! Went on to say how it would sure be nice to get some of it back (mind you mom goes to bed around 8pm on Sunday, so she's losing out on 2 hours max, depending on how early she sends easy child back to grandma's for the night).
***
So anyway, that bring us up to this last weekend. It was her weekend to be here. She calls me at 7am on Friday and asks to come to our house early that day...she wants to get off the bus at our house after school (3 hours before she's supposed to come)!!!! Last communication with her mom was that we were taking away too much time, and here she is, sending her early!!! So I'm confused, but said "SURE!".
***
So that brings me to now. My company picnic is this Friday night. They buy every family tickets to an amusement park. We generally don't say anything to easy child when its not on our weekend, but she overheard easy child 1 and his girlfriend talking about it and wanted to go. So husband and I emailed her mom. I figure the reply will be in large, bold, all caps and say something like "HE!! NO!" but who knows. I'm sure she'll be ticked, but I tell ya, that woman is the most unhappy human being I've ever met, and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes her happy. (ie - griping for taking too much time away and in the next breath saying "take her early"!)
***
Ok, thanks for listening. I can get on with life now. And if we really are taking too much time from this woman, please point it out to me...
***
Her mom's house is 50 yards max from her maternal grandma's house in the middle of 40 acres of woods, built for mom by grandma. "Hermit" and "silver spoon" and "paranoid" does not begin to describe these people. Grandma provides everything for easy child 2; clothes at mom's house, food, medicine, medical care, mom never has to take a day off of work when easy child is sick or has to go to the doctor. Grandma gets easy child out of bed in the morning, gets her to school, gets her off the bus, usually feeds her supper, then easy child goes to mom's for the remainder of the evening (couple hours, maybe) and usually back to grandma's to sleep. Heck, grandma even feeds the pets and does the laundry, which she goes to mom's house and picks up off the floor. Anytime mom needs a babysitter, grandma is there, therefore she rarely, if ever, has to call us as backup. If grandma can't watch easy child, mom will usually call her other ex-husband first to watch easy child, just to avoid giving us any extra time. (we're friends with her ex and her older daughter with ex, who verifies that yes, she does this to avoid extra time with us).
***
This winter the kids missed a lot of school due to snow. Several of the days were Thursdays when easy child was with us, and since one of us had to stay home with difficult child, anyway, we kept easy child with us instead of sending her to grandmas. One period her mom and grandma lost electricity and we did not, so she stayed with us for 4 "extra" days, went back to her mom's on a Tuesday. Her mom called later that night asking if we wanted her on our regular Wed. Of course, we said yes, and she said that was fine, she just figured we were tired of her. It didn't matter to her, she said, she doesn't come home on Wed nights, anyway, that's her and her hubby's date night, but she could send her to grandma's if we were tired of her.
***
I was off on President's Day, and easy child wanted to stay with me and difficult child, so she asked mom and mom said yes, she could stay til mom got off work. School was cancelled that Thursday, also, so she stayed home with us again that day, went back to mom's when mom got off work. Her uncle on husband's side got married that Friday night. Her mom refused to let her go because she'd spent too much time with us already that week (mind you no time was taken from mom because mom was at work).
***
Also, we rarely can "swap" weekends because mom and her new hubby make plans to do things without the kids on the weekends they don't have the kids, so where as we try to arrange to INCLUDE easy child, we can't usually trade weekends cause it interrupts her EXCLUDING easy child (does that make sense?). Every time she's had something come up and wanted her home early on our weekend, we've obliged (which is rare because her hubby's 3 kids are difficult child's (untreated) so when they have his kids (which coincides with when they have easy child), they don't leave the house). Even last summer, when mom got married and took a 2 week honeymoon, easy child stayed with us for the 2 weeks. Since she stayed with us both weeks they were gone instead of staying with grandma during the week that should have been her mom's week, we had to give up a week later. Her mom wasn't going to see her during those 2 weeks regardless of where easy child stayed, but we do our best to keep the peace and bit our tongues...
***
April was our annual Easter party and then we took a weekend trip to Kentucky for the Derby Festival, so easy child stayed over 2 Sundays in a row on "our" weekends.
***
So late last week, I get an email from her mom, griping at ME for making a habit of taking extra time with easy child, and how it was affecting her relationship and stealing time away from her! Went on to say how it would sure be nice to get some of it back (mind you mom goes to bed around 8pm on Sunday, so she's losing out on 2 hours max, depending on how early she sends easy child back to grandma's for the night).
***
So anyway, that bring us up to this last weekend. It was her weekend to be here. She calls me at 7am on Friday and asks to come to our house early that day...she wants to get off the bus at our house after school (3 hours before she's supposed to come)!!!! Last communication with her mom was that we were taking away too much time, and here she is, sending her early!!! So I'm confused, but said "SURE!".
***
So that brings me to now. My company picnic is this Friday night. They buy every family tickets to an amusement park. We generally don't say anything to easy child when its not on our weekend, but she overheard easy child 1 and his girlfriend talking about it and wanted to go. So husband and I emailed her mom. I figure the reply will be in large, bold, all caps and say something like "HE!! NO!" but who knows. I'm sure she'll be ticked, but I tell ya, that woman is the most unhappy human being I've ever met, and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes her happy. (ie - griping for taking too much time away and in the next breath saying "take her early"!)
***
Ok, thanks for listening. I can get on with life now. And if we really are taking too much time from this woman, please point it out to me...