Just a little stupid ventilation

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, May 13, 2008.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    easy child 2 lives primarily with her mother. We have her every Wednesday and send her to school every Thursday morning (unless there's no school, then we have to provide care for her), then every other weekend (Friday 6pm-Sunday6pm) thru the school year, and at least half of all breaks.
    Her mom's house is 50 yards max from her maternal grandma's house in the middle of 40 acres of woods, built for mom by grandma. "Hermit" and "silver spoon" and "paranoid" does not begin to describe these people. Grandma provides everything for easy child 2; clothes at mom's house, food, medicine, medical care, mom never has to take a day off of work when easy child is sick or has to go to the doctor. Grandma gets easy child out of bed in the morning, gets her to school, gets her off the bus, usually feeds her supper, then easy child goes to mom's for the remainder of the evening (couple hours, maybe) and usually back to grandma's to sleep. Heck, grandma even feeds the pets and does the laundry, which she goes to mom's house and picks up off the floor. Anytime mom needs a babysitter, grandma is there, therefore she rarely, if ever, has to call us as backup. If grandma can't watch easy child, mom will usually call her other ex-husband first to watch easy child, just to avoid giving us any extra time. (we're friends with her ex and her older daughter with ex, who verifies that yes, she does this to avoid extra time with us).
    This winter the kids missed a lot of school due to snow. Several of the days were Thursdays when easy child was with us, and since one of us had to stay home with difficult child, anyway, we kept easy child with us instead of sending her to grandmas. One period her mom and grandma lost electricity and we did not, so she stayed with us for 4 "extra" days, went back to her mom's on a Tuesday. Her mom called later that night asking if we wanted her on our regular Wed. Of course, we said yes, and she said that was fine, she just figured we were tired of her. It didn't matter to her, she said, she doesn't come home on Wed nights, anyway, that's her and her hubby's date night, but she could send her to grandma's if we were tired of her. :angry-very:
    I was off on President's Day, and easy child wanted to stay with me and difficult child, so she asked mom and mom said yes, she could stay til mom got off work. School was cancelled that Thursday, also, so she stayed home with us again that day, went back to mom's when mom got off work. Her uncle on husband's side got married that Friday night. Her mom refused to let her go because she'd spent too much time with us already that week (mind you no time was taken from mom because mom was at work). :dissapointed:
    Also, we rarely can "swap" weekends because mom and her new hubby make plans to do things without the kids on the weekends they don't have the kids, so where as we try to arrange to INCLUDE easy child, we can't usually trade weekends cause it interrupts her EXCLUDING easy child (does that make sense?). Every time she's had something come up and wanted her home early on our weekend, we've obliged (which is rare because her hubby's 3 kids are difficult child's (untreated) so when they have his kids (which coincides with when they have easy child), they don't leave the house). Even last summer, when mom got married and took a 2 week honeymoon, easy child stayed with us for the 2 weeks. Since she stayed with us both weeks they were gone instead of staying with grandma during the week that should have been her mom's week, we had to give up a week later. Her mom wasn't going to see her during those 2 weeks regardless of where easy child stayed, but we do our best to keep the peace and bit our tongues...:biting:
    April was our annual Easter party and then we took a weekend trip to Kentucky for the Derby Festival, so easy child stayed over 2 Sundays in a row on "our" weekends.
    So late last week, I get an email from her mom, griping at ME for making a habit of taking extra time with easy child, and how it was affecting her relationship and stealing time away from her! Went on to say how it would sure be nice to get some of it back (mind you mom goes to bed around 8pm on Sunday, so she's losing out on 2 hours max, depending on how early she sends easy child back to grandma's for the night).
    So anyway, that bring us up to this last weekend. It was her weekend to be here. She calls me at 7am on Friday and asks to come to our house early that day...she wants to get off the bus at our house after school (3 hours before she's supposed to come)!!!! Last communication with her mom was that we were taking away too much time, and here she is, sending her early!!! So I'm confused, but said "SURE!".
    So that brings me to now. My company picnic is this Friday night. They buy every family tickets to an amusement park. We generally don't say anything to easy child when its not on our weekend, but she overheard easy child 1 and his girlfriend talking about it and wanted to go. So husband and I emailed her mom. I figure the reply will be in large, bold, all caps and say something like "HE!! NO!" but who knows. I'm sure she'll be ticked, but I tell ya, that woman is the most unhappy human being I've ever met, and nothing, and I mean NOTHING, makes her happy. (ie - griping for taking too much time away and in the next breath saying "take her early"!)
    Ok, thanks for listening. I can get on with life now. And if we really are taking too much time from this woman, please point it out to me...
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Sounds like she enjoys pawning her kid off for free babysitting wherever and whenever she likes. Maybe she suffered a moment of guilt and that's what prompted her complaining about losing time with her kid. She got over it quickly enough! You're right. Some people will never be happy.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Sounds like the mom wants what she wants when she wants it and is not interested in how it effects the child - or anyone else for that matter.
  4. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    You guys pegged that one.

    When she and husband split, she kept easy child 2 from him for 11 months - no contact whatsoever. Mom says easy child's troubles at school are because of the "trauma" suffered when husband left - she never mentions the trauma inflicted by keeping easy child away from her dad for almost a year at the age of 6, nor has she ever followed up on the recommendations for therapy to work thru it. (nor do I think that's really her problem at school, either, tho counseling would be good for her, for sure).

    She's a piece of work, lemme tell ya.
  5. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I have never understood those who put their ego before the needs of their child. This sounds like a lot of petty vindictiveness coupled with some incredible selfishness. Sooner or later this little girl is going to have enough of mom not being a mom and make some choices that are not going to make mom very happy.
  6. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Already has. Just waiting on her to be old enough to carry her weight.

    This woman's older daughter moved in with her dad at 12 and never went back. Literally. And she is such a huge witch that the dad JUST QUIT paying the mom child support 2 months ago. Mom was using the child support to pay the older daughter's car insurance and cell phone bill...the only things she pays for...and mom agreed to let him quit paying her child suport if he'd take over those two payments. So he's had the kid for 8 years now, paying her way thru college, etc, and she hasn't paid a DIME. The only thing she was paying, she was using his money to pay.

    Now that he's off the hook for child support, tho, he'll testify for us when we go back to court what has taken place with both girls.
  7. 4sumrzn

    4sumrzn New Member

    Oh my. Well, here's hoping that easy child 2 gets to go to YOUR company picnic.....knowing she will enjoy EVERY minute she gets to spend with you guys. I considered going on a "her Mom" spree....I was starting to get PO'd there....but, I won't. I'm thinking easy child 2 is on to her Mom. If she "gets it"....you & husband are doing just fine by her ;)

    PS....feeling REALLY sorry for Grandma...what's up with that??? :(
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It doesnt' sound like this woman really wants to parent, just wants kids so she can manipulate others. Maybe the gripe about not having easy child is because GRANDMA was pushing her? MOM certainly isn't spending time with the child.

    In jsut a few years easy child will be able to tell the courts where she wants to live. Expect mom to try to bribe or emotionally blackmail her into staying.

    I really really don't understand some people.

    You CERTAINLY are not monopolizing the child. OR taking time from her. I hope easy child can go to the picnic and have fun with y'all.


  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Still no word. I bet we don't get a reply until later tomorrow night. She makes me so crazy.

    4sumrzn, don't feel too sorry for grandma...she allows it all to take place. The only two things she's put her foot down on are the new hubby's kids - they aren't allowed in her house or at her camper at the lake (thus easy child never gets to go camping with-mom and grandma anymore, either...cause they only go when they don't have kids).

    Sus, I expect she'll hang onto this daughter much tighter than the last. She's getting more money for her from us, and I fully expect that will be the factor she fights us over. Our informal plan is when easy child is old enuf, try to get an agreement with her out of court to let easy child spend more time with-us without bring child support or the court into it, then, after some time and a "precedent" of sorts has been set, go after the child support change then. We figure then it will be obvious if she demands easy child back that its over money and not really the kid.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I mean NOTHING, makes her happy. (ie - griping for taking too much time away and in the next breath saying "take her early"!)

    This says it all.