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<blockquote data-quote="dreamer" data-source="post: 146557" data-attributes="member: 1697"><p>Pardon me while I add on to my own thread-LOL</p><p>Another weirdness just smacked me. </p><p>When my son first hurt his eye, and at his first surgery- my husband was in ICU in VA hospital, the very opposite direction from the hospital where I had to take son. husband was 90 mins east and north, son was 5 hours south and east. easy child had to stay home, she did not drive yet, and she had school. difficult child stayed home with easy child becuz she cannot tolerate medical procedures etc, and she looked after pets and getting mail in etc. So- husband was alone at his hospital in ICU, and I was alone at univ hospital with son and our girls were home alone. My husband has no living family, has not had for many many years, altho when he did, we supported them financially. I was estranged from my family at the time, altho prior to estrangement I helped my mother out rather extensively, as well as an uncle and more than a couple cousins. </p><p>My husband has been far too ill for far too long, and he does not have any "friends" and sad to say this this way but, my own friends had recently ALL passed away due to various tragedies. - and I had been too involved in day to day caretaking and orbeing ill myself to form new friends yet. BUT I WAS active in a militaty veterans group, and had even earned acknowledgement for volunteer of the year at state level, also had an award for parent volunteer of year from HeadStart, was a co leader for Cub scout den, was a severe weather spotter volunteer, had dabbled sonme as Hospice volunteer (formerly had been Hospice employee) was active in a church, in Big Brothers Big SIstsers program, </p><p></p><p>Well... when I had all that going on, and also I was doing ALL the minute to minute caregiving of my dying mother until husband landed in ICU and son got hurt....I wound up being alone at surgical waiting room, which did NOT sit well with the surgery staff. Son was in surgery 9 hours. hospital called their chaplain, who turned out to be my brother- who did NOT come. </p><p>Ah well, I have been doing it solo for years, and I coped OK enough. </p><p>The doctor wanred me the surgery was VERY high cost, it was extreme microsurgery.....which is why we had to go so far away tohave it done. In the end, the surgery costs themselves were not too bad, but the extras were very hard on us-----travel time and gas, staying at hotel becuz complications from surgery but insurance refuseing to keep son inpatient, but doctor not wanting son away from hospital- LOTS of motels, meals at hospital etc .and it has been ongoing....first follow up was weekly for almost a year (with a 2nd 9 hour surgery) and gradually follow up appts got gradually farther apart, and are now quarterly to twice yearly at his various eye docs. </p><p>Another time, easy child was in a school basketball game, and she fell, head/face first into bleachers dureing game. Split her lip, broke top front tooth, and broke her arm. Me and a parent paramedic both thought she may have even broken her neck, cuz of how she hit.......but principal dashed over by us and he kept saying school insurance does not cover this. UG! Well the paramedic mom called her unit and they came, BUT ER refused to do anything except stitch the lip..said they cannot touch teeth, and they refused to set the arm.community hospital.....we had Medicaide at the time. Well, no ortho would set the arm, either, would not even see easy child, and no dentist would touch easy child, either. we went to several dentists and orthos in the following week. Meanwhile school called CPS on us becuz PCs tooth was still broken and her arm was not yet set. Even called our state rep to ask HIM what to do, but he had no ideas. </p><p></p><p>Well, anyway.....after my son hurt his eye, I was surprised to one day realize, about a month-6 weeks in......NOONE ..not one single person..not from school, not from scouts, not from church.....had sent him so much as a get well card. NO phone calls, no visits, no call from the friends house where he got hurt, NOTHING. (we assume the people where he got hurt may have been afraid we might sue? we didn't) </p><p>My son missed 3 MONTHS of school (plus more all the time for followups), and 6 months of scouts.....the same school he had gone to all his life and so had both his older sisters. </p><p>The military group me and husband belonged to at the time never sent husband so much as a card, either- nothing. Yet they KNEW everything going on becuz I was in contact with them becuz I did miss meetings becuz I was out of town due to son, and becuz I had called them specifically about husband- becuz one of their BIG things is to go visit members (and even non members) when in VA hospital or even civilian hospital. </p><p></p><p>Now, the reason I am babbling on and on is just how many fundraisers go on here, and how many times I hear about or see (and used to participate in) things that benefit people caught in just such circumstances. 3 different newspapers today had blurbs about 3 seperate fundraisers for the boy my kidsknow who recently got hitby a car. Yes, his neck got broken.....but he was home by the day after.(I find that REALLY fast!) and he is already back at school! (WOW!)</p><p>Another kid just fell last week on a playground, got a head CT and they found he was ok from the fall, BUT he had a cyst in his brain..so..already, there are 2 fundraisers going for HIM......plus huge photos of cards school made for him.....</p><p></p><p>When my best friend was struggleing thru her last 2 years....well her and I had both worked at county nurseing home and at that time had also both done some community volunteer work together-and she had 2 kids.I TRIED to do a fundraiser for her, becuz she had several quite extensive health issues going on all at once.and their home landed in foreclosure and car got repo'ed etc. BUT, I could NOT ever get anyone tohelp me with the fundraiser. Not Moose, Jaycees, Lions etc, and noone would let me use their facilities, either, not for anything. When her nephew, my others friends son...died....(age 6 after a long gruesome health issue) the school (same one my kids all attended, too) also did not send any get well cards. Nothing. </p><p></p><p>So...I am just wondering.....who decides when something - some tragedy- is newsworthy or worthy of attention, help etc? And why do some people fall thru the cracks so bad? I would have been SO happy for my son with just simply ONE get well card for him from his class at school. And one get well card from the scout den. and I KNOW it is NOT becuz noone was aware of what occuredbecuz I made calls to all of them to explain our absence etc. I would have been so tickled for my husband to have gotten just one simple hey how are ya phone call or one card dropped in mail- but--there was nothing. Not one single one. I sure cannot even count how many cards, calls, visits Ihave made over the years.....how many dinners Ihave helped with, prepared, delivered etc, how many care packages I have put together etc......</p><p></p><p>Just one of those things I just wondered about. I amnot down about it, just curious.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dreamer, post: 146557, member: 1697"] Pardon me while I add on to my own thread-LOL Another weirdness just smacked me. When my son first hurt his eye, and at his first surgery- my husband was in ICU in VA hospital, the very opposite direction from the hospital where I had to take son. husband was 90 mins east and north, son was 5 hours south and east. easy child had to stay home, she did not drive yet, and she had school. difficult child stayed home with easy child becuz she cannot tolerate medical procedures etc, and she looked after pets and getting mail in etc. So- husband was alone at his hospital in ICU, and I was alone at univ hospital with son and our girls were home alone. My husband has no living family, has not had for many many years, altho when he did, we supported them financially. I was estranged from my family at the time, altho prior to estrangement I helped my mother out rather extensively, as well as an uncle and more than a couple cousins. My husband has been far too ill for far too long, and he does not have any "friends" and sad to say this this way but, my own friends had recently ALL passed away due to various tragedies. - and I had been too involved in day to day caretaking and orbeing ill myself to form new friends yet. BUT I WAS active in a militaty veterans group, and had even earned acknowledgement for volunteer of the year at state level, also had an award for parent volunteer of year from HeadStart, was a co leader for Cub scout den, was a severe weather spotter volunteer, had dabbled sonme as Hospice volunteer (formerly had been Hospice employee) was active in a church, in Big Brothers Big SIstsers program, Well... when I had all that going on, and also I was doing ALL the minute to minute caregiving of my dying mother until husband landed in ICU and son got hurt....I wound up being alone at surgical waiting room, which did NOT sit well with the surgery staff. Son was in surgery 9 hours. hospital called their chaplain, who turned out to be my brother- who did NOT come. Ah well, I have been doing it solo for years, and I coped OK enough. The doctor wanred me the surgery was VERY high cost, it was extreme microsurgery.....which is why we had to go so far away tohave it done. In the end, the surgery costs themselves were not too bad, but the extras were very hard on us-----travel time and gas, staying at hotel becuz complications from surgery but insurance refuseing to keep son inpatient, but doctor not wanting son away from hospital- LOTS of motels, meals at hospital etc .and it has been ongoing....first follow up was weekly for almost a year (with a 2nd 9 hour surgery) and gradually follow up appts got gradually farther apart, and are now quarterly to twice yearly at his various eye docs. Another time, easy child was in a school basketball game, and she fell, head/face first into bleachers dureing game. Split her lip, broke top front tooth, and broke her arm. Me and a parent paramedic both thought she may have even broken her neck, cuz of how she hit.......but principal dashed over by us and he kept saying school insurance does not cover this. UG! Well the paramedic mom called her unit and they came, BUT ER refused to do anything except stitch the lip..said they cannot touch teeth, and they refused to set the arm.community hospital.....we had Medicaide at the time. Well, no ortho would set the arm, either, would not even see easy child, and no dentist would touch easy child, either. we went to several dentists and orthos in the following week. Meanwhile school called CPS on us becuz PCs tooth was still broken and her arm was not yet set. Even called our state rep to ask HIM what to do, but he had no ideas. Well, anyway.....after my son hurt his eye, I was surprised to one day realize, about a month-6 weeks in......NOONE ..not one single person..not from school, not from scouts, not from church.....had sent him so much as a get well card. NO phone calls, no visits, no call from the friends house where he got hurt, NOTHING. (we assume the people where he got hurt may have been afraid we might sue? we didn't) My son missed 3 MONTHS of school (plus more all the time for followups), and 6 months of scouts.....the same school he had gone to all his life and so had both his older sisters. The military group me and husband belonged to at the time never sent husband so much as a card, either- nothing. Yet they KNEW everything going on becuz I was in contact with them becuz I did miss meetings becuz I was out of town due to son, and becuz I had called them specifically about husband- becuz one of their BIG things is to go visit members (and even non members) when in VA hospital or even civilian hospital. Now, the reason I am babbling on and on is just how many fundraisers go on here, and how many times I hear about or see (and used to participate in) things that benefit people caught in just such circumstances. 3 different newspapers today had blurbs about 3 seperate fundraisers for the boy my kidsknow who recently got hitby a car. Yes, his neck got broken.....but he was home by the day after.(I find that REALLY fast!) and he is already back at school! (WOW!) Another kid just fell last week on a playground, got a head CT and they found he was ok from the fall, BUT he had a cyst in his brain..so..already, there are 2 fundraisers going for HIM......plus huge photos of cards school made for him..... When my best friend was struggleing thru her last 2 years....well her and I had both worked at county nurseing home and at that time had also both done some community volunteer work together-and she had 2 kids.I TRIED to do a fundraiser for her, becuz she had several quite extensive health issues going on all at once.and their home landed in foreclosure and car got repo'ed etc. BUT, I could NOT ever get anyone tohelp me with the fundraiser. Not Moose, Jaycees, Lions etc, and noone would let me use their facilities, either, not for anything. When her nephew, my others friends son...died....(age 6 after a long gruesome health issue) the school (same one my kids all attended, too) also did not send any get well cards. Nothing. So...I am just wondering.....who decides when something - some tragedy- is newsworthy or worthy of attention, help etc? And why do some people fall thru the cracks so bad? I would have been SO happy for my son with just simply ONE get well card for him from his class at school. And one get well card from the scout den. and I KNOW it is NOT becuz noone was aware of what occuredbecuz I made calls to all of them to explain our absence etc. I would have been so tickled for my husband to have gotten just one simple hey how are ya phone call or one card dropped in mail- but--there was nothing. Not one single one. I sure cannot even count how many cards, calls, visits Ihave made over the years.....how many dinners Ihave helped with, prepared, delivered etc, how many care packages I have put together etc...... Just one of those things I just wondered about. I amnot down about it, just curious. [/QUOTE]
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