Just a thought about members

[Abbey]

The passing of Kris has made me think about a lot of things.

I feel so bad that I didn't know the state of her health in the past year. There are so many lovely people on this board to follow that some slip through the cracks without even thinking about it. All of us would have done something for a board friend. Even a simple card probably would have brightened her day.

So, in the middle of the night I'm thinking about what would happen if myself or you, would have the same thing happen. Who would know? I know my husband after all these years would have no earthly idea to let the board know. Heck...he doesn't even know the URL. (men)

So, I sent my daughter the URL with instructions on how to get on the site and post a message. As silly as it sounds, you guys are my best friends and I'd want you to know if there was something like this going on for support. I don't want it to be an 'after the tradegy' thing. I would have loved to be there for Kris during all of this. I just didn't know she was so ill.

So please find someone who you can count on to contact a few thousand friends if you are in need. I am 100% confident that your friends will rally.

Abbey

 

[Hound dog]

Abbey

I've been thinking about this as well. The last update I remember Kris was doing so well and I was looking forward to her coming back to the board. So when we got the news she had passed I was devistated.

I do have instructions with easy child and Nichole to contact the board if anything should happen. Mostly because husband didn't when I hat the truck accident, and the girls thought he had. But then, he hadn't even contacted my off board family either. sigh

So I do think it's a good idea, and not something we always think about.

 

[Nancy]

Abbey,

I had been in touch with Kris regularly up until recently when things in my life got very hectic and she was in an assisted living center for rehabilitation. I posted when I got an update about Kris and several people pm'd me for her address and phone number and to ask me for updates. I'm sorry I didn't think to email you but hoped that my updates were getting to everyone who knew her. I printed off the responses to the updates and mailed them to Kris.

I know several people send Kris cards and/or gifts. I posted about the fleece blankets I made and sent her when she first started dialysis. She posted asking for suggestions on pillows to ease her comfort in the dialysis chair. It's so hard to try to get the word out to everyone in cyberspace and not invade someone's privacy at the same time.

I have thought about how something could happen to any of us and no one would know unless we were in contact with other members who could alert the board. So it is a good idea to let someone know how to post in case we are unable to. Good suggestion.

Nancy

 

[donna723]

Abbey, that's a wonderful idea! I've been thinking a lot about this same thing.

A few years ago my kids' grandma died and they had a terrible time trying to find insurance policies, bank account info, etc. Apologizing for being morbid, my daughter called and asked me then if I would make out some kind of list with all this information on it and send it to her, just in case. It's a very good idea but I just never got around to it. Then last month her mother in law was accidentally killed in that horrible accident and now she and sister in law and his brother are going through the same thing. She had never really discussed her (considerable) financial affairs with either of the boys so they've had some real detective work to do. Poor woman was only 53 and in perfect health ... we just have no idea what can happen in the blink of an eye. You just never know.

So I'm going to make out that list and keep it updated. Of course, I don't have a lot and most of it could be settled with one call to where I work. Life insurance through where I work, my tiny and ever-shrinking 401K, itty bitty bank account, one other seperate life insurance policy. I'll put it all on paper and send it to her. But I was thinking about the Board too. There's people on here that I have "known" for four years! People who I have swapped tales with and spilled my guts to many times for FOUR YEARS! If something should ever happen to me, some may not even notice, but some may think that I just "disappeared"! So I'll put that down too, with instructions to come on and post the sad news that a meteor fell on me or that I was unexpectedly abducted by the little silver aliens. Very good idea, Abbey!

 

[klmno]

Thhis a great idea, Abbey- the other night when I thought difficult child was going to kill me, I wondered if any board member might send a letter to the judge or otherwise make sure they knew that my son is mentally ill. Of course, that would mean that the board would need to know what happened, and how would they know that?

 

[Star*]

I plan on being raptured - Don't worry about me!

You'll never know when I'm gone - or WILL YOU?

I so wish I had a serious bone in my body about my own demise....but, I do not.

 

[nvts]

I was thinking about that before Kris' daughter let us know what was going on.

Once the baby's born, I'll be in the hospital. for at least a week (c-section) and then not allowed on the computer for a little while after (gooooood luck! They have to sleep SOMETIME! moooohahaha!). Technically, you guys wouldn't know that the little bugger arrived for close to a month later.

Star* and Witz (and I suspect others) would never forgive that situation and I've got enough "blood relatives" not talking to me - I don't need to stir you ladies up too!

I've given my screen name to lil sis and she'll be hopping on to let you know 10-fingers, 10-toes, and one or none appendages!

I do think that you're right Abby that we all need a contingency plan so that we can make sure that everyone's ok. Think about it - even severe weather can result in one or more not being able to access the site.

Beth

 

[totoro]

husband knows to contact the board first in case of an emergency!!! Seriously. He laughs at me and I tell him, "If I ever get into an accident or anything and can't get on the computer, let the board know"

 

[witzend]

I had sent a small gift to Kris at Christmas time, and talked to her on the phone a few times after that. I remembered her being in and out of the facility, but thought that she had felt like the kids were doing well enough that she didn't need to be on the board much. Funny, though, I was digging through things trying to find her number,amonsgst other things, last week.

I would never give either of my kids the URL here, but I will tell husband. Not that it would do any good. I'm thinking he might remember to put an obit in the paper for me, if I'm lucky.

 

[KTMom91]

You're right...I hadn't thought about that. Maybe because I have no immediate plans to pass on? But I will write down my screen name so Hubby can let my board family know if anything happens to me.

 

[DammitJanet]

I have had this discussion several times with both Tony and my oldest son Billy. I dont have many friends in real life so they have both been instructed that should anything bad happen to me the first place they should come is here...lol. The next place is to hit my email and send it through there to anyone not affiliated through this board. I figure with telling the two of them, at least one remember. Billy would know all my stuff is stored on this computer.

 

[Abbey]

KT...

Anyone else out there have no immediate plans to pass on? Or, more importantly...immediate plans?

My 'stuff' is safe with my daughter. Shoot...I wouldn't give it to husband. He couldn't find his arse unless it was attached and he turned around and looked in a mirror.

Abbey

 

[Andy]

I think I better start my "what if" list.

1. Put difficult child in psychiatric hospital NOW!!!! He will not be able to handle this.
2. Contact board - (don't forget sign-in, password, and board name)
3. Bank Accounts with addresses and phone numbers of the banks
4. Debts
5. Favorite charities
6. Will - in other words, who gets to inherit my debts
7. E-Mail account and password
8. Burial wishes (not quite sure yet on cremation or burial)
9. Donar wishes (not sure I have anything worth donating)
10. List of those needing to know (those friends your family may not think about)
11. Christmas card list

My mother in law even had her small ceremony planned - songs, verses, etc.

I will put this info in a enveloped marked, "In the event of .........." and
just tell husband, easy child, and difficult child where it is.

It is going to take me atleast 50 - 60 years to get the above ready. Guess you guys are stuck with me for awhile.

 

[Nomad]

Abbey...This is very touching.
Nancy...Thank you for the updates about Kris. I think I missed a few because I skip days sometimes coming here. I'm having a busy few days, will contact you next week.
Star...As usual, you CRACK ME UP!
KIT...Too funny! Me too...no immediate plans.
Adrianne....Probably wise advice for us all! Excellent planning.

 

[TerryJ2]

Abbey, wonderful post, wonderful idea.
Sigh.

Also, the Christmas card list with-your names and addresses has since disappeared. I have no idea what happened to it. There have been several times when I've wanted to send cards to several of you but I have absolutely no way to do it. I can't wait to send cards this yr--I promise to keep better track of you all!

 

[flutterbee]

I've thought about this, too. I always worry when members who have been active suddenly disappear. We have no way of knowing.

My son, at least, knows my username and password and he probably knows the web address, too. I've already told my mom that if something happens, she'll have to let you all know.

You guys are friends and family. I worry. We all worry.

I'm so saddened by Kris' passing. She was so heavily on my mind earlier this week.