Just a thought: It is so much less busy now than it used to be here.

GoingNorth

Crazy Cat Lady
If you search on "Indigo Child", you'll find a lot of New Age-y stuff from the 90s.

You'll also find a lot of negative stuff, some of it well-deserved, as a subset of parents truly believed that their "Indigo Children" were going to lead humanity forward into a "New Future". A further subset used the "Indigo Child" designation as an excuse for their child's bad/extreme behavior. In some cases this was a matter of poor parenting, but in quite a few cases, it led to children with neurological or mental illnesses missing out on desperately needed care.
 

ColleenB

Active Member
I read this entire thread.... Whew....

As a very new member I just want to say how very thankful I am for this board. I remember the first night I found you all, one of my many sleepless nights, googling " drugs and teens" getting mostly scary statistics, then just searching for any advice.... And finding this place.... I lurked at first, reading the substance abuse board, where I still spend most of my time, but also PE, and sometimes others....

My first post was immediately answered and I felt a wave of relief wash over me... There was kindness ( leafy) and compassion, as well as advise.... I cried.... Someone understood I wasn't a bad parent, I was a hurting parent.....

I received much needed caring words, and you all have been a balm to my hurting heart ( a term I first heard here and completely resonated with ❤️) .....

So even though I didn't need you when my son was young, my need is real now, and I am so very grateful.

By the way.... I am a very funny and playful person In real life, as I'm sure so many of you are.... I don't speak Portuguese but would have loved to meet Rauol

Thank you again....
 

savior no more

Active Member
I can understand your feelings. Had I found this forun when my child was 12 I would have been even more depressed.

When she rages she invades my body space. Comes right up in my face with her eyes flat and scary as all hell. I am determined not to show that I am afraid so I do not give ground and I glare back at her. Is this the right thing to do. I don't want to appear weak but maybe I should be dropping my eyes and making myself small?

Maybe there is not one answer, but knowing what has worked for you in the middle of a meltdown would be so very helpful.

My child raged from the age of four. He had periods of stability from time to time when the medication was right. At times the medication wouldn't work and his mood became unstable. When he got to be fourteen, I told him I would call the cops if he laid one hand on me or broke anything in the house. He had broken many things in the past. This set up the boundary and I did in fact have to call the police who sent mental health deputies who help facilitate hospitalization. This was the way I could gain control over my house and help him find the help he needed. The first thing I had to do in helping him - which was my legal, moral, and ethical responsibility - was to get expert help and guidance on how to handle this. At this age, engagement and trying every avenue possible for me was a must. I still advocate for my son but as he grows into legal age and adulthood I have had to learn that he is ultimately responsible for his life and choices. I will probably always maintain contact and loving communication but I can understand how the older the children become it might be necessary to save oneself it it gets too much of a burden.
 

Estherfromjerusalem

Well-Known Member
Oh boy! What a thread. It has brought back so many memories for me. First of all, when I discovered that I wasn't the only parent in the world dealing with a child who crapped in his pants all day long, every day. I just can't even begin to describe the feeling of knowing that there were others coping (or not coping!) with this horrible physical problem of encopresis. And coping with a difficult child. Just that fact -- of feeling that I was not alone -- made all the difference in the world. I have been reading this thread, and it is true that it is not the same as it was, but how can it be? If the population changes, then the whole atmosphere changes. We had some really marvellously crazy people here then, and today the tone seems more serious. All I know is, although my difficult child no longer lives here and is not disturbing my daily life, I still come every single day to the board, to "touch home base" so to speak. It has remained a supportive and non-judgmental place, for which I am grateful.

Love, Esther
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
The parenting forum for younger kids wasvjustva flood of kindness and support and even humir then. It bbc.co was very busy too. I never botheredbreading PE because I didntbassociate that forum, which was not as busy anyways,vwith my own young kids so I felt better, not worse. Many of our kids were 5-12 and the posters were a wealth of resources of info and resources.

Every so often id read a post or two on PE, but I didnt expect my young kids to end up that way. General was a good place to be. Now our general posts dont get much attention. I think we do well with adult kids, but not so much when a parent of a younger kid asks for help. There is one there now asking a question about a three year old. Almost no feedback.

The focus has turned to almost only adult kids on drugs.

And its a needed resource, but not the only needed resource.
 

TeDo

CD Hall of Fame
I was here several years ago and left because of some of the dynamics and some of the people that were here but I won't mention names. I've been back lurking for a bit now and see that those people are apparently not around anymore. I still "talk" to the people I really connected with: Buddy, Shari, Matt's Mom, Totoro, and a few others I've become quite close to. Now that my kids are older and we're busier, I can't get on here as often as I used to. Now that my kids do online high school from home, I can't get on here as often. Maybe that will change once the graduate in a couple months.

Just thought I'd let you know why I left ..... for a few years.
 

FlowerGarden

Active Member
This thread brings back so many memories. So glad it was started. Would be nice to have updates on everyone who doesn't post much anymore and what they and their kids are up to.
 

AnnieO

Shooting from the Hip
If you search on "Indigo Child", you'll find a lot of New Age-y stuff from the 90s.

You'll also find a lot of negative stuff, some of it well-deserved, as a subset of parents truly believed that their "Indigo Children" were going to lead humanity forward into a "New Future". A further subset used the "Indigo Child" designation as an excuse for their child's bad/extreme behavior. In some cases this was a matter of poor parenting, but in quite a few cases, it led to children with neurological or mental illnesses missing out on desperately needed care.

UGGGHHHHHH yeah. No, Miss Rose is a lot closer to the New-Agey stuff. Yeah, she's stubborn and wild, but not excessively so.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
This has been so cool to read. No I am not Rauol....LOL. I think I know but not sure.
I stopped posting because of computer issues. Mine died.

I have been a member since 2/9/1999. I will never forget that date. I don't think I would be alive today without all the members here who prayed for me and I still have all the cards and the printout of when I was in the hospital. Funny thing was when I was first coming out of my coma, my first words were "the board".

I can't wait til I can come back.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
BUT can remember when SLSH's son tore all the heads off her flowers, Fran's sons first girlfriend and his new shoes, Pico's memorable quotes, Suz's son stealing the company van, Rita's terrifying night with an out of control son on drugs, Martie's Mr. No. And I cannot listen to the Ronette's Da Do Run Run without thinking of Janet and Ant to this very day . I think at the time how odd it was that the universe arranged to put all of us, the ones who had the most devastating sarcastic sense of humor, in one place. I thank these ladies for saving me from total despair. There were dark times, no doubt, but the comedy and laughter over our plights made it much more bearable.

AMEN, my dear friend, MM.

Don't forget your contribution to these stories- you landing in the bushes trying to "save" Cheech one night. (pig snorts still when I think of that)

And I remember freaking out Cheech one night when I called you and called him out on something and you and I laughed for years about that. Thank God for all of us having similar senses of humor because I truly would not have survived without this tribe of warrior moms with loving hearts who could make me laugh until I cried...and it was such a relief from the other tears we had shed.

Love you lots. XXX
 

Fran

Former desparate mom
Hi Folks, I have always been grateful that runawaybunny was able to take over the site as my children had grown and my life was full of caring for elderly parents. My memories of how I administered the site are somewhat different. Deleted posts were only those with inappropriate language or topics or meant to inflame. I loved this site and nurtured it to the best of my abilities. I purposely stayed away since I no longer was the admin so that I didn't interfere with the current administration. It's always been a gift to us parents. I am grateful for the site, the members and all those who keep it going.
 

Suz

(the future) MRS. GERE
My memories of how I administered the site are somewhat different. Deleted posts were only those with inappropriate language or topics or meant to inflame.

Absolutely true. We were so busy in those days with how active the board was and with our families and GFG31s it would never have occurred to any of us to delete any posts other than ones that were inappropriate. As I mentioned to MM above, thank goodness for this site and the friendships we made here.

Suz
 
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