Instead of posting 8 million separate vents, I'm going to try and put it all into one. I'm just feeling overwhelmed, worried, hormonal, and like FREAKING OUT!! Let's start with H (here I go on the heels of Linda's lovely thread about not griping on our H's) - sorry Linda! I love my H, I do. We've definitely had our difficult times and some really fantastic times. We were doing counseling together and then the therapist said she didn't think H needed to go anymore [because he knew what he had to do]. He was coming to sessions and just sort of spinning his wheels (and mine) and I felt we weren't getting anywhere because the concepts discussed were not really being put into motion. I was tired of going over the same old ****. I don't know what he thinks about that, but once in a while, if we're arguing and stuck on a topic I might bring up how we discussed it in session and remind him. This sometimes works to get him back on track, sometimes not. I really really do not have time to argue over petty little stupid things and that is all we did this weekend. Also, I think because of our hectic schedules and his mid-winter blues thing, we haven't been in synch with 'other' areas and I'm about to go out of my mind. But then, when the very person you want to 'get close' with makes you see red, the last thing you want is to be intimate with them, am I wrong? I still have walking pneumonia, at least they think I do. I went for a chest x-ray the other day and they put me back on prednisone, 80 mgs a day! I hate that stuff - makes me edgy, full of energy and I can't sleep. On top of that, my period is a bit late so my hormones have me very much on the edge. H knows this and uses those two things (the pred and my hormones) as an excuse to blame the nit picking on ME. And he was even trying to sell this idea to easy child at the dinner table last night - she just smiled at him & I laughed, because it's so obvious he's the instigator. How do I know he's the instigator? Because I started my classes last week and there is A LOT Of homework and reading and writing involved....hello? Politics of Social Welfare and Intro to Human Services. Heavy duty stuff. And no matter what I thought I knew, what I don't know is a lot!!! So, my classes do not take up a whole heap of my time because I can do some of the work at school, but they are two nights a week for only 2 hours. How does H respond? Like the kid who is last to get picked up after school. As if he's being neglected somehow. He's practically pouting. Oh, to others he will say with pride, "Yeah, my wife is going to school. She's so smart, etc" but then at home he's being petty and picky and resentful in seemingly small and insignificant ways, but I notice - and I'm trying not to. You would think that he would say, "Hey since you have class on Mon/Wed, I will make dinner those nights so you can eat when you get home at 7PM" but NO. Instead he asks me, in his not so jokingly way, "Who's going to make my dinner?" As if he's Fred Flintstone and didn't live on his own for 12 years away from Mommy before marrying me. Argh. So, I continue to ignore, ignore, ignore and go about my business. But it's like he's so annoyed that I am doing this for myself - going to school. So, about those classes. I really think that I am politically retarded. I know where I stand on social issues (which I will not go into) and I know what I agree with and who, I know how I vote, I do plenty of research on the candidates, etc. I read the paper, skim the news (because it's so darned depressing) and keep myself mostly abreast of what is going on in my world and the world around me. I am not a politcal slacker by any means, but I am so not a political genius either. However, that said, the terminology in this class is the very terminology that turned me off to listening to the talking heads that H watches every night, the very news items I skip over - everything I hate about politics. Not the social aspect, but the labeling of specific groups of people. We had to take this online test to see where we stand politically and while I'm not surprised at my outcome, my beliefs are categorized in terms that I am not fully educated on. H said that is the purpose of this class - to educate me. But last night I had to write a short essay on my results on the test and take a guess at where my classmates would fall in their beliefs. It was so dofficult. I spent nearly 2 hours just trying to define the terminology so I could understand it enough to write about it! I want to warn my professor that I am politically retarded...Anyway, I will go to class tonight and see what's up. The other class (Human Services)I love...love...love! Now difficult child. She got this great job and she's doing okay I think. We went and bought her all sorts of great business casual clothing and she's been dressing the part. If she would only shower more regularly. She's always dashing out the door, doesn't eat right, sleeps at off times and skids (later I will explain what I mean by the word 'skid') home at night, crashes into bed and then wakes up 20 minutes before she has to leave in the morning. She's barely put together, hair up in a knot. She sometimes smells, she's cranky, and I can, but don't want to, predict how this will end. Yes, her boyfriend's sister got her in the door, but I am hoping she doesn't think that will keep her in the door, Know what I mean?? This is an opportunity for her to make a good lasting impression so that when a permanent position is available, she may be the one to get it! Anyway, I am practicing my detachment, but isn't there something I can say to her about this without it sounding parent-like? The next issue with difficult child is that lately she's been coming in later and later, upsetting the dogs and the barking disrupts my sleep. I've reminded her of the 11PM rule during the week - we need our rest for work. Last night we had some freezing rain up by us and she went out to coffee with a friend at around 6PM in lieu of dinner, I might add. I reminded her it was going to be worse on the roads later and to please not be late. Well, of course, 11PM rolls around and she's not home. I text her. She says she's on her way home. I'm in bed, trying to sleep (easy child & h were both sleeping by then) and difficult child skids into the driveway. I hear the garage door open, the dogs all go nuts and startle us all awake, difficult child clomps through the house to my room and yells out, "Mom! I skidded into your car and smashed the back!" It is too late now and really, I'm just freakin exhausted by my night of homework so I tell her to park her car and we'll look at it in the morning. She clomps back out, I peek through the window and see the dent on my car - I will deal with it later. Garage goes up, dogs all bark, she comes back inside, sobbing now because I didn't go see it (really it's like a 3-ring circus at midnight at my house now). I tell her it's just a small thing, go to bed. She is still sobbing, takes a dog and goes to bed, slamming her door. Whatever. So, now I have a dent on my car, her signal light cover is smashed off. I don't have money to fix any of it and the damage is likely to be just under my auto deductible. I am going to make her help pay for it - I think this is reasonable. She likely will not since it was the ice that made her hit my car. But my feeling is that if she had paid attention to the rule of being home at a reasonable hour, and the fact that there was ice all over the place and she should have come home earlier before it got bad, this would not have happened. Today is Day 4 of the pred, my period is STILL not here, I have to go to class tonight, and I'm just so darned tired. Ohhh, this is longer than I realized. Sorry and thanks if you made it this far.