just an update

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ready2run, Jan 29, 2012.

  1. ready2run

    ready2run New Member

    last time i posted on here, we were trying to give up custody of difficult child to foster care. husband has changed his mind on that and difficult child is still here. the social workers pretty much said too bad, they aren't taking him he's our problem, not there's. the lawyer said we should try putting him into a group home first, the nearest one is far away and he is too young to go there. ugh. we can still fight them to take him but at this point he is trying to behave so we are going to let him keep trying. i think that because he knew about this the whole time he is trying to step up on his behaviour. he is acting out at school more though, and saving his good behaviour for us. so that is not the best solution but selfish as it sounds i would rather let them deal with it. they get paid. the school has put a new plan in place so they have a male teacher available to come supervise difficult child when necessary as he has been attacking his ea. i think he perceives her to be weak because she i very petite and soft spoken so he thinks he can get away with it. ugh.
    we are waiting for psychiatrist to come back from holidays on tuesday. she is supposed to adjust his medications again. i can say that last weekend husband and i both gave difficult child his morning pill(holy lack of communication on that one!!) and he was very well behaved, even cleaned up without crying about it.
    on the plus husband has really stepped up when it comes to responsibilities around the house so i am no longer carrying 90% of the responsibilities around here, probably closer to 60/40 now and my stress level has gone down quite a bit. we are going to buy difficult child a tv for his room next month for his b-day so he can watch his own shows in there and that should eliminate alot of his complaining about people talking while he's trying to watch tv and demanding to watch my little pony while others are already watching something.
    i found out he had been cheeking his medications sometimes and then hiding them around the house so that must be why he got to the point where he was acting so psychotic. i am now much more vigilant about making sure he swallowed them and check under his tongue and in his cheeks.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Cheeking the medications could make a bit of a difference *tongue in cheek* LOL. Glad you figured that one out. I am glad the double dose (accidentally) produced good results and I am VERY glad husband has stepped up. THAT is going to be huge for you AND difficult child.

    It has to be hard to be unable to handle everyday stress and then be punished for it. I'm sorry, but I still believe that he doesn't know HOW to "behave" and handle things. PLEASE read The Explosive Child by Ross Greene and What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You by Dr. Doug Riley. I think these will help you help and teach HIM what he NEEDS to be specifically taught.

    Hope things continue getting better.
  3. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Well, however hard life with him is (I understand), I have to say I am glad things have taken this turn and he is staying with the family. I echo TeDo: may things continue to get better.
  4. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Glad you caught the medication problem! My sister found Concerta capsules in her trash or bathroom drawers and realized the same thing for her son with adhd. I have found out that certain medication changes need to happen through mistakes too. (yes, it has been embarrassing but not always me, thank heaven... like when the dr. wrote the wrong directions for the school nurse and Q got triple the clonidine he needed--instead of three times per day he wrote three tabs-- poor nurse panicked and took his blood pressure every fifteen minutes for the rest of the day, but he sure was pleasant for them).

    Sorry that when you told the social workers about how desperate you were you did not get more help. I am glad difficult child is giving you a break at home but poor kid sounds so wound up and anxious he is falling apart in school. I pray someone hears your pleas for help. Maybe when doctor comes back. We can hope. This child is autistic, he should be able to have in home services through his insurance, including PCA, ABA, Integrated Listening Systems (ILS), etc... I dont remember if you have county services at all?? If a child is imminently at risk of out of home placement, the county often can come up with funding they said they dont have.... most have emergency funds for situations like this to provide more support to keep the child in home. (obviously costs less for that than residential placement). Imagine if you had even 4 hours per school day and 16 on the weekend?? (heck at this point 10 hours a week would be a nice break)

    I pray that is available for you and husband. Glad to hear he is taking on more. That has to be good for both of you.

    Thanks for the update. I have wondered about how you were doing.... {{{more hugs}}}

    oops, forgot you are in canada... ok will leave it up to the canadian folks to make the govt. support ideas.....
  5. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I do that, too. I call myself the medicine warden, but you have to do what you have to do.
  6. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member

    Thanx for the update!!!!!
    I am so proud of you guys!!!!! This must be very hard on all of you!
    We are going through a difficult time ass well, so just know there are coming plenty of hugs from the other side of the world to you and difficult child!!!!!
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    R2R - believe it or not, the fact that he is trying to behave better at home and acting up more at school may actually work to your advantage. "The system" is interlinked... while "parent" opinion isn't worth much, school-based opinions and feedback are worth more. If school starts pushing for more medical-based interventions... it helps.
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Glad that he is behaving for you at home. I understand the just wanting peace. And it is great that you figured out that he was cheeking his medications. I wondered on occasion about that with my difficult child. I would definitely mention his behavior change when you accidentally gave him double medications. I hope that you can get the school to help more, and that the social workers will listen a little more. It is so frustrating when you feel you are reaching out, and it seems everyone is turning their backs on you. Praying that his good behavior at home continues.