Just another day in Paradise - Thursday

[justtotallyspent]

So today started out much like every other with our Difficult Child small fights over having to be quiet til everyone wakes up (likes getting up 5-6am), then not wanting to eat breakfast but then all seems ok... might even be a good day. Food and dressed then playtime... but he wants to play then when given stuff to play leaves it sitting there and starts to complain about nothing to do.... but we get through that. Then lets watch cartoons before lunch, nope not what he wants to watch so not happy with the either.... finally get a compromise (since there is 3 others watching tv too) so off to make lunch, out of the room 1 min and our Difficult Child is climbing all over the other kids back in to settle that down, then back to lunch.. give Difficult Child 5 min warning for tv time over and off to lunch, but still tantrums when tv is shut off... makes it to the kitchen for lunch (doesnt like it tho) even tho its pizza and fruit... grrr... ok well then eat what you want of it then drink and some relax time (like everyday after lunch) we read or something else calm and quiet (otherwise little ones tired at suppertime) but it becomes full out screaming tantrum from our Difficult Child. we have a schedule its basically the same everyday but today he is still mad lunch wasnt what he wanted so he doesnt want to relax either... give him choice either downstairs or in his room but still continues tantrum. He gets taken to his room to calm down and he throws everything out of it, refuses to stay in there, and begins his punching hitting and kicking at me. I ignore it stand back far enough he cant reach me and on and on this goes for more then 30 mins...... I am not engaging, I reserve my feelings (scream into pillow later) but he still wont let it go...... HELP!

 

[Andy]

When he gets up so early, are you willing/able to put in a cartoon that he likes to watch? Have the kids take turns choosing what to watch (write it down on a schedule) and his time to choose is when he gets up in the morning. What does he like to do that is making the noise? Maybe we can come up with an alternative to meet his needs with that activity by replacing it with a quieter one?

Make a "fun" area for relaxing time. Put a blanket over the table to make a tent or put pillows and blankets in the middle of the floor and pretend there is a campfire in the middle. On a rainy day, choose books about the rain and perhaps go out into the rain (or stretch arm outside to feel the raindrops) after quiet time. Set the "atmosphere" around whatever books you have chosen for the day. Do the kids like to color/draw? Give them paper/crayons to draw while you are reading. Or give them an object from the story to play with (like a toy cow if the story is about farm animals).

I don't have much help on how to stop tantrums. I am more into trying to prevent them but I know that sometimes you can do all the "right" things and you will still get the tantrum. Sounds like you are doing well in not engaging. Make sure he is safe and let him work through it. If you did get emotionally involved, it would increase the time and strength of the tantrum.

Keep being consistent in trying to get him to use his words. Let him know that he needs to calmly tell you how he is feeling so you can try to help because although there are times when he will not have a choice to behave or not, you do want to make it easier for him to make the right choice when it is appropriate to do so. Such as temper tantrum at bed time and you find out he hates the complete dark so you put a night light in the room and life is easier. You are willing to do so to make bedtime easier for him but until he was able to express that need, you would go through endless horrible bedtimes.

 

[Andy]

P.S. Check out the Early Childhood forums. You may find helpful insights there.