Just another little vent ...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by klmno, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I received an email from school principal today- it was in response to my email last week saying I was sorry my actions were interpreted as trying to just get difficult child out of trouble, but there's not a lot I can do if a kid tells her something and she can't (or won't ) look into it to see if it's true and I don't have enough info to look into it but I see no indication of it being true at home or in neighborhood. I also had said we don't need to meet if there is no tape to view- this was after I'd asked to see it with difficult child there so I would have a better understanding of his mindset (if I could see him in action) and the true context of it all.

    Her response was well, she knew I was very supportive but she's sure that they saw what they documented.

    That was pretty much it in the email. Now, I'm thinking it is pointless to talk to a wall and keep going back and forth with this- it will be viewed as arguing, I think. But the point is, psychiatrist and I truly are trying to nail down some things with difficult child- does he need more medications, different medications, less medications, is it mania, is it this.. blah, blah. They, at school district, can't tell me difficult child's mindset when he does things. It would be helpful if there is a tape of him "in action" to see which "side" of him this is coming out. It would also help to find out if he's just exagerating or blatantly lieing or if he misreads social cues, etc. I had also asked for the specific date that it happened on the bus (we were tring a new medication dosage for about 10 days) and she never told me that either. I can't believe that the school staff can't get a clue on this and WORK WITH ME.

    :soapbox:

    Last year, when difficult child started getting disruptive frequently, I tried to communicate with them- can I see this or that, can they try this or that- could they do anything- NO. I got the same kind of manipulative "play dumb" stuff in the pretense that I should be backing them up. I was baacking them up- I was also trying to find a way we could ALL work together to improve things. It was just like it is now and I stopped trying to talk to them because it seemed like every time I did, the story about difficult child got worse, he got more scrutiny, punishment, etc. Then, they put him on long term suspension and said they had kept me informed but I HADN"T DONE ANYTHING TO CHANGE THINGS.
    :hateyou:

    THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WON'T DO ANYTHING TO CHANGE THINGS.

    I know- I need to send a certified letter- but saying what? Do I play along with the BS and say "I'm sorry tthey are having such a difficult time understanding the needed accommodations for a cycling kid with a mood disorder- could I bring someone in to train them?" Now, that's my urge, but where will that get difficult child?

    :crazy2:

    When she first told me about the bus incident, first it was he got too rough with a girl, then it was "he punched a girl", then it became "he was punching on a girl".

    :grrr:

    Why do I have these urges right now to punch on somebody?
    :sword: And furthermore, how can a kid who starts out making an A in a class- a collaborative class- get a

    ZERO on a test? Am I expecting too much to think maybe the teacher should be communicating something here? I have a feeling that if I try to find out if he refused to write anything or was it a makeup test he never made up or when the test was given or anything else, I'll get "well, this is what he got on it and we're not going to change it" period.
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Head on over to Special Education, they have pretty useful advice. Is there any chance you could MOVE?? This district sounds horrible. I know Sheila went through the trials of Hercules with one School.

    I'm sorry. They stink.

    Susie
     
  3. daralex

    daralex Clinging onto my sanity

    Ditto! Schools ****! Kudos to you for following up! Kids at this age (any age!) can be awful! But I am concerned that the school is so ready to blame difficult child with basically nothing to back it up. Our district here ***** but while she was in public school they taped everything! If looking to pursue it further i would also say to follow up eith spEd or someone higher up. They have now "labeled " difficult child and I would love to see a definitive reason as to why they they did so. My answer always is to take it to the mat and hold them to their word - They have caused pain and conflict and THEY need to fix it!! Sorry they're playing with you so badly! My thoughts and ((hugs)) go out to you!!!
    -Dara
     
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Actually, she lives in a pretty good school district here in va. The problem is THAT school (and perhaps, even further, that principal).

    I think you are killing a dead horse here on this bus subject. Your emails, and their responses (since they did respond), show your concern and their "changing stories". Work on getting that advocate or, in difficult child's case, I had his therapist go into meetings with me.

    Perhaps you should call an emergency meeting of the IEP team to discuss what to do since difficult child is cycling and he is going through a medication change. Perhaps all of you together can come up with some ways to show success. Maybe a modified day for awhile. Are you available to pick him up from school a little early rather than him riding the bus? If he is being easily distracted while taking tests (my son has a really hard time concentrating when it's noisy), have one of the colab teachers take him to the media center, or some other quiet place, to test.

    I would give psychiatrist a call and see if she is willing to come into this meeting. Then, you can sent, by certified mail, a request for an emergency IEP meeting to be attended by his team (which of course includes you) and his psychiatrist. You can't be turned down. And, this shows that you are being proactive not reactive. And, you can do some internet research on accoms for his diagnosis (start with ldonline) in the meantime to get some ideas and have a plan before going in.

    These are just some suggestions. Keep looking for that advocate.

    Sharon
     
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hey! Just curious, does he have an FBA (Functional Behavior Analysis)? If not, they should be doing one on him. Once that's done, if you don't agree on what they've come up with on the BIP (Behavior Intervention Plan) then you can appeal it and request that they have a third party do one (their expense).

    The school psychologist is the one to do it. This should give you THEIR impression as to his state of mind during the day.

    Just a thought! We're behind you!

    Beth
     
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