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Parent Emeritus
Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 575563" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome CW MI. I am glad you found us. Your tale is a sad one, not unlike many of us here with our difficult and estranged kids. I'm sorry this has happened to you and your wife and your step daughter. It certainly makes sense that an immature wounded teenage girl would find another immature wounded teenager, our difficult child's find each other. It sure sounds like you and your wife have done everything possible, loved her, provided for her, offered her a supportive home............and now, as many of us here realize, at her age, 18, there is nothing you can do but learn to detach and accept what is. It is scary considering what this boy says, you're right to be concerned. I am very sorry.</p><p></p><p>Sometimes we do our very best and the results are not what we hoped for or expected. It is hard. You might want to read the blurb at the bottom of my post here on detachment. It's important for you and your wife to take care of yourselves. There is an organization called NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness that you can find online and they have chapters all over. They offer educational classes and parent support groups which are invaluable for us parents to understand and get the tools we need to heal. It is very difficult living with and loving someone, especially a child, with mental illness. You and your wife have been through a long and a tough time, I would strongly suggest the two of you find support in whatever manner feels best to you, therapy, the NAMI classes or support groups, counseling of some kind, some place you can go to heal. This takes a toll on families in a big way.</p><p></p><p>It's a hard place to be to really get that there isn't anything that we can do. Perhaps, as you mentioned, in time you can rebuild, but for now, it's learning to live here in the present, with all the issues you can't control or fix or repair. I know just how that feels myself with a much older daughter who continues to make bad choices..........and there is nothing I can do. I get through it all with a lot of support. I am glad you found us, keep posting, it helps to write it out and get responses from others who share the boat you've found yourself in. I wish you and your wife peace. Gentle hugs for both of you.........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 575563, member: 13542"] Welcome CW MI. I am glad you found us. Your tale is a sad one, not unlike many of us here with our difficult and estranged kids. I'm sorry this has happened to you and your wife and your step daughter. It certainly makes sense that an immature wounded teenage girl would find another immature wounded teenager, our difficult child's find each other. It sure sounds like you and your wife have done everything possible, loved her, provided for her, offered her a supportive home............and now, as many of us here realize, at her age, 18, there is nothing you can do but learn to detach and accept what is. It is scary considering what this boy says, you're right to be concerned. I am very sorry. Sometimes we do our very best and the results are not what we hoped for or expected. It is hard. You might want to read the blurb at the bottom of my post here on detachment. It's important for you and your wife to take care of yourselves. There is an organization called NAMI, National Alliance on Mental Illness that you can find online and they have chapters all over. They offer educational classes and parent support groups which are invaluable for us parents to understand and get the tools we need to heal. It is very difficult living with and loving someone, especially a child, with mental illness. You and your wife have been through a long and a tough time, I would strongly suggest the two of you find support in whatever manner feels best to you, therapy, the NAMI classes or support groups, counseling of some kind, some place you can go to heal. This takes a toll on families in a big way. It's a hard place to be to really get that there isn't anything that we can do. Perhaps, as you mentioned, in time you can rebuild, but for now, it's learning to live here in the present, with all the issues you can't control or fix or repair. I know just how that feels myself with a much older daughter who continues to make bad choices..........and there is nothing I can do. I get through it all with a lot of support. I am glad you found us, keep posting, it helps to write it out and get responses from others who share the boat you've found yourself in. I wish you and your wife peace. Gentle hugs for both of you......... [/QUOTE]
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Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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