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Parent Emeritus
Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 575631" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I don't think many of us truly understand why our kids behave the way they do. Their brains respond differently to events and emotions. They're wired differently from us, which is why it's so hard for us to understand and accept. Most of us spend a lot of time feeling hurt and angry and judging them because we just don't get it. My difficult child is 40, probably close to your age, and she has made such poor choices for so long, sometimes it is unfathomable to me. I am raising her daughter who is 16 because my difficult child simply can't think in a responsible way and of course, children do require that. I have had a long, long road of detaching. It comes in layers at different times, it's not linear, it's all over the map, acceptance is hard won. But it is possible. Someone here recently called this process a 'personal devastation' and I think that about covers it; none of us are prepared for it, none of us know how to do it, but we are forced by circumstances to learn...........or go crazy. You and your wife sound like you were very loving parents. That makes it so sad, like you said, with all your efforts, you produced a train wreck. Me too. It is what it is. It's the accepting of that that is difficult. You two have each other, you have a strong marriage and support, this is a process and there will come peace in time. I really do understand how you feel. There are many feelings to maneuver through. You're doing a good job already.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 575631, member: 13542"] I don't think many of us truly understand why our kids behave the way they do. Their brains respond differently to events and emotions. They're wired differently from us, which is why it's so hard for us to understand and accept. Most of us spend a lot of time feeling hurt and angry and judging them because we just don't get it. My difficult child is 40, probably close to your age, and she has made such poor choices for so long, sometimes it is unfathomable to me. I am raising her daughter who is 16 because my difficult child simply can't think in a responsible way and of course, children do require that. I have had a long, long road of detaching. It comes in layers at different times, it's not linear, it's all over the map, acceptance is hard won. But it is possible. Someone here recently called this process a 'personal devastation' and I think that about covers it; none of us are prepared for it, none of us know how to do it, but we are forced by circumstances to learn...........or go crazy. You and your wife sound like you were very loving parents. That makes it so sad, like you said, with all your efforts, you produced a train wreck. Me too. It is what it is. It's the accepting of that that is difficult. You two have each other, you have a strong marriage and support, this is a process and there will come peace in time. I really do understand how you feel. There are many feelings to maneuver through. You're doing a good job already. [/QUOTE]
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Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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