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Parent Emeritus
Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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<blockquote data-quote="cw_mi" data-source="post: 584122" data-attributes="member: 15803"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'">Heres sort of an update. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"> I think in a couple of my previous posts I had mentioned how strong my wife is going thru all this. Well I think it caught up too her. We recently returned from vacationing with another couple, they are the parents of one of our difficult childs friends. Actually our difficult child was supposed to go with us on this trip but it is another thing she gave up. Well on this trip the topic came up. We were told that our difficult child has lost weight, looks dirty and just looks much worse since shes moved in with her bio dad. When we returned we did some research on FB and found a current picture of her and she does not look the same. This really tore my wife up. Then we get hit with a letter from her bio fathers attorney wanting child support. In our state child support ends at 18 unless the child is still in school ,then it gets extended until 19.5 or graduation. Just prior to getting the letter we got some feedback from bio dads sister that he has been ranting going off about how his daughter is costing him money , he cant afford it and now hes laid off. So again our difficult child is hearing nothing but negatives and bad mouthing about us, not that it matters anymore. We have no problem supporting her , well maybe a little since she wants nothing to do with us but the law is the law. What bothers us is we know not one red cent will go to her. Sad, just sad. difficult child actually communicated with my wife over the weekend. Nothing deep just talk, although she did say that her bio dad is driving her nuts and she is gone once she graduates. My wife asked what about college , where will you live etc. and difficult child said shes got this which we know her loser fiancé is telling her he will support her which we dont know how . Hes got no job, no car or even drivers license and is failing his senior year so he can stay in school to be with difficult child next year. All this has been weighing on my wife the past couple of weeks. I know its really getting to her. I figured it would be tough for her but when is this going to end ? Many have mentioned that her and I should seek someone to talk too. I thought we could get thru this without that, but Im really starting to think it might help. For myself , I thought it would be easy. Just push difficult child out of my life , detach, forget about her and move on. After all she isnt my child. And for a while it seemed to be working until my wife showed me her picture on FB and all the emotion came back, as if this all happened yesterday. I think I will be able to detach but I keep getting hung up on the how and why she did the things she did. How can you walk away from your family, the ones that love and provide for you. Give all that up for a loser that is just filling your mind up with BS. If she just stood back and looked at how her life was before he came into the picture and then now , one would think she would see hes done nothing for her. They dont even really have a real relationship, all the communication, and being together is whenever they can sneak it. What kind of relationship is that ? I think if and when they actually can spend real time together things just might not be all perfect like she thinks they are. </span></span></span></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: #000000"><span style="font-family: 'Calibri'"> Well sorry for the babbling on but Ive gotten some really great feedback from this sight and just wanted to share the latest. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cw_mi, post: 584122, member: 15803"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri]Heres sort of an update. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri] I think in a couple of my previous posts I had mentioned how strong my wife is going thru all this. Well I think it caught up too her. We recently returned from vacationing with another couple, they are the parents of one of our difficult childs friends. Actually our difficult child was supposed to go with us on this trip but it is another thing she gave up. Well on this trip the topic came up. We were told that our difficult child has lost weight, looks dirty and just looks much worse since shes moved in with her bio dad. When we returned we did some research on FB and found a current picture of her and she does not look the same. This really tore my wife up. Then we get hit with a letter from her bio fathers attorney wanting child support. In our state child support ends at 18 unless the child is still in school ,then it gets extended until 19.5 or graduation. Just prior to getting the letter we got some feedback from bio dads sister that he has been ranting going off about how his daughter is costing him money , he cant afford it and now hes laid off. So again our difficult child is hearing nothing but negatives and bad mouthing about us, not that it matters anymore. We have no problem supporting her , well maybe a little since she wants nothing to do with us but the law is the law. What bothers us is we know not one red cent will go to her. Sad, just sad. difficult child actually communicated with my wife over the weekend. Nothing deep just talk, although she did say that her bio dad is driving her nuts and she is gone once she graduates. My wife asked what about college , where will you live etc. and difficult child said shes got this which we know her loser fiancé is telling her he will support her which we dont know how . Hes got no job, no car or even drivers license and is failing his senior year so he can stay in school to be with difficult child next year. All this has been weighing on my wife the past couple of weeks. I know its really getting to her. I figured it would be tough for her but when is this going to end ? Many have mentioned that her and I should seek someone to talk too. I thought we could get thru this without that, but Im really starting to think it might help. For myself , I thought it would be easy. Just push difficult child out of my life , detach, forget about her and move on. After all she isnt my child. And for a while it seemed to be working until my wife showed me her picture on FB and all the emotion came back, as if this all happened yesterday. I think I will be able to detach but I keep getting hung up on the how and why she did the things she did. How can you walk away from your family, the ones that love and provide for you. Give all that up for a loser that is just filling your mind up with BS. If she just stood back and looked at how her life was before he came into the picture and then now , one would think she would see hes done nothing for her. They dont even really have a real relationship, all the communication, and being together is whenever they can sneak it. What kind of relationship is that ? I think if and when they actually can spend real time together things just might not be all perfect like she thinks they are. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Calibri] Well sorry for the babbling on but Ive gotten some really great feedback from this sight and just wanted to share the latest. [/FONT][/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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