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Parent Emeritus
Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 584142" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm so sorry this continues for you and your wife. It is extremely challenging to detach from our own children, no matter how old they are. I would strongly suggest both of you seek counseling, it will support you through this very bumpy landscape so you can begin to heal. For me, I could not have done this without support from a professional, it is just too difficult to let go of your own child. I know how you both felt seeing that photo of your difficult child, it is heartbreaking. They just don't see things the way we do, as one of my therapists said, "they have no ability to "future think." They live in the moment. Sigh. </p><p></p><p>For you to focus on the how and why will only keep you stuck, there are no answers that make any sense to those questions, you have to stop asking them. There is no logic in mental illness and asking logical questions in an illogical world is crazy-making for you. All you can expect of yourself is to find peace in the midst of your difficult child's chaos and to learn to respond differently to her. Other then that you have no control or power. You and your wife may want to read the article at the bottom of my post on detachment, it's helpful. I'm sorry you find yourself here, this is a universe not one of us wants to live in. And yet, here we are. So, the next step is to learn to detach from this world as best you can, learn the tools necessary to accept what is so you and your wife can begin to enjoy your own lives. I wish you peace.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 584142, member: 13542"] I'm so sorry this continues for you and your wife. It is extremely challenging to detach from our own children, no matter how old they are. I would strongly suggest both of you seek counseling, it will support you through this very bumpy landscape so you can begin to heal. For me, I could not have done this without support from a professional, it is just too difficult to let go of your own child. I know how you both felt seeing that photo of your difficult child, it is heartbreaking. They just don't see things the way we do, as one of my therapists said, "they have no ability to "future think." They live in the moment. Sigh. For you to focus on the how and why will only keep you stuck, there are no answers that make any sense to those questions, you have to stop asking them. There is no logic in mental illness and asking logical questions in an illogical world is crazy-making for you. All you can expect of yourself is to find peace in the midst of your difficult child's chaos and to learn to respond differently to her. Other then that you have no control or power. You and your wife may want to read the article at the bottom of my post on detachment, it's helpful. I'm sorry you find yourself here, this is a universe not one of us wants to live in. And yet, here we are. So, the next step is to learn to detach from this world as best you can, learn the tools necessary to accept what is so you and your wife can begin to enjoy your own lives. I wish you peace. [/QUOTE]
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Just cant understand the reasoning, our difficult child is spinning out of control.
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