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Just can't take anymore
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<blockquote data-quote="cameronellis" data-source="post: 149806" data-attributes="member: 5142"><p>Brokendown,</p><p> </p><p>I hope you are not where I am in a few years. Maybe you can find a way to stop things, because your son sounds an awful lot like mine as far as the manipulation and spiteful behavior.</p><p> </p><p>I try to sit down with him and talk to him and get him to tell me what is bothering him and he will appear to open up and get emotional and just when I am suckered in... he'll ask for something. And when I refuse I am accused of not loving him or caring about him.</p><p> </p><p>It is like we are all puppets and he enjoys pulling our strings to get his way. Or just for fun.</p><p> </p><p>And if I upset him he will always do something to get me back. He can't seem to be understand that he should be punished for breaking rules, but he does feel that I should be punished for punishing him for breaking rules. Go figure. And his favorite way to hurt me is through his brother. My younger son sleeps in my room a lot since my older son and I are almost always arguing at night and to get at me, he will just keep picking on my younger son so he can't go to sleep. So I take him into my room so he can sleep. </p><p> </p><p>I have thought seriously about having him removed from the house. But that is such a drastic step. I don't want to put him in a bad situation and I just keep hoping that I can fix this so he can go on to have the life he should have. But at what cost to my sanity and my other child's happiness? </p><p> </p><p>I feel like I can't give up. There must be something I'm not doing. Something I'm not thinking of. Something that will make him understand where all of this is headed, but without ruining his life. </p><p> </p><p>What is so hard about all of this is that when he wants to be he is a great kid. We have long talks about all sorts of things. He is very funny and tells jokes and funny stories. He proudly brings home his test scores and we rejoice. He is a great athlete and I feel so proud watching him on the field. And all of the other parents come up and compliment me. And at those times I feel like I can do it. I forget how bad it is when it is bad and wonder what I was so upset about. I tell myself that all teenagers are difficult and this will pass and I am overdramatizing the situation.</p><p> </p><p>Then he will have a bad day. He'll yell at me, hit his little brother, break things, run out when I have no idea where he is. Blast the TV, stay on the phone all night and just yell at me when I tell him to get off. Tell me he hates me. I'm a rotten mother. And just do any little thing he can think of to upset me and his brother. Then when he calms down he expects me to act like nothing happened and when I am still upset then he accuses me of not loving him and always being mean. Manipulation surely, but it makes me wonder if he has a conscience and realizes that you can't just mistreat people and when you feel better expect them to forget. </p><p> </p><p>His moods rule our home. If he has a good day. We have a good day. If he has a bad day, we have a terrible day.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="cameronellis, post: 149806, member: 5142"] Brokendown, I hope you are not where I am in a few years. Maybe you can find a way to stop things, because your son sounds an awful lot like mine as far as the manipulation and spiteful behavior. I try to sit down with him and talk to him and get him to tell me what is bothering him and he will appear to open up and get emotional and just when I am suckered in... he'll ask for something. And when I refuse I am accused of not loving him or caring about him. It is like we are all puppets and he enjoys pulling our strings to get his way. Or just for fun. And if I upset him he will always do something to get me back. He can't seem to be understand that he should be punished for breaking rules, but he does feel that I should be punished for punishing him for breaking rules. Go figure. And his favorite way to hurt me is through his brother. My younger son sleeps in my room a lot since my older son and I are almost always arguing at night and to get at me, he will just keep picking on my younger son so he can't go to sleep. So I take him into my room so he can sleep. I have thought seriously about having him removed from the house. But that is such a drastic step. I don't want to put him in a bad situation and I just keep hoping that I can fix this so he can go on to have the life he should have. But at what cost to my sanity and my other child's happiness? I feel like I can't give up. There must be something I'm not doing. Something I'm not thinking of. Something that will make him understand where all of this is headed, but without ruining his life. What is so hard about all of this is that when he wants to be he is a great kid. We have long talks about all sorts of things. He is very funny and tells jokes and funny stories. He proudly brings home his test scores and we rejoice. He is a great athlete and I feel so proud watching him on the field. And all of the other parents come up and compliment me. And at those times I feel like I can do it. I forget how bad it is when it is bad and wonder what I was so upset about. I tell myself that all teenagers are difficult and this will pass and I am overdramatizing the situation. Then he will have a bad day. He'll yell at me, hit his little brother, break things, run out when I have no idea where he is. Blast the TV, stay on the phone all night and just yell at me when I tell him to get off. Tell me he hates me. I'm a rotten mother. And just do any little thing he can think of to upset me and his brother. Then when he calms down he expects me to act like nothing happened and when I am still upset then he accuses me of not loving him and always being mean. Manipulation surely, but it makes me wonder if he has a conscience and realizes that you can't just mistreat people and when you feel better expect them to forget. His moods rule our home. If he has a good day. We have a good day. If he has a bad day, we have a terrible day. [/QUOTE]
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