Just checking in

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by neajle, Mar 30, 2009.

  1. neajle

    neajle New Member

    I don't know if any of you remember me, it has been a long time since I checked this site. In looking through some of the posts, most names I don't recognize. I wanted to give an update on my difficult child who is now doing great so that those of you who are suffering right now will know that it can change.

    Our son went to his third rehab 3 years ago. It was a hard struggle up to that point. After Rehab he went to a "safe house" and while there he decided he wanted to join the Army so that he could make something of himself. I wasn't very fond of it at the time, but I didn't tell him that. He just got out of the Army in April, 2008, he was only in for 2 years instead of 3; he was having a lot of problems with depression, so they let him out early. He met a girl who lives on the opposite side of the country from us. She is a few years older than him. She wanted to move, so they came home. He hasn't had any luck with finding work here though so they went back to where she is from after 4 months. He really didn't want to leave, but she talked him in to it.

    He is such a changed person from the difficult child that he used to be. I used to cry day and night. I used to drive around looking for him and worrying about him. He stole from us. Life was H_ _ _! It wasn't until I threw him out of the house that he finally changed. This time when he left I cried, I cried because I missed him. Those few months that he was home we actually spent lots of time together. We talked and talked. He told me that he wishes he had never started doing drugs, he said that they ruined his life. He told me how sorry he was for everything that he did to us and that if he knew then what he knows now that he would have never done drugs. He said that he was sorry that he never listened to me when I told him how drugs destroy lives. He is now on medication for depression, previously during his difficult child days I took him to many doctors and he would not follow through with therapy or medication.

    I just hope and pray that he can find a career (some kind of job so that he can support himself now). Unfortunately due to the recession, there just aren't any jobs right now. He took a course through the sheetmetal union for becoming a pre-apprentice, but due to most of that industry being laid off, he is just on a list. He is a very talented, sweet, kind young adult now.

    I hope and pray that all of you see a light at the end of the tunnel that you might be in
    right now. It will get better.

  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    I remember you, even if you don't remember me LOL.

    How wonderful that your difficult child has moved on. That is what we all hope and pray will happen. It's encouraging and delightful to read a success story from one of us who has been in the trenches.

    I'm thrilled for you and hope each year brings more happiness. DDD
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I remember you too. I have since changed my name---I was katmom. I'm so glad that your difficult child has achieved some success. It is wonderful when they begin to see where they were and how it affected them and those they love. Thanks for the update.
  4. recovering doormat

    recovering doormat Lapsed CDer

    I think we missed each other but I am so happy and gratified to read your post, even though I am worried for your son's emotional health right now with the job situation being what it is. I hope he is able to find something, even if it's not a permanent job, just to keep his spirits up.

    I pray that my son will wake up and realize what a mess his dabbling with weed is making of his life. He's only 16 but immature and seems to be very good at sabotaging himself and anyone who tries to help him.

    Thank you for posting and for letting us know that we can hope for a better day.
  5. standswithcourage

    standswithcourage New Member

    Thanks for the hopeful post! It is so nice to hear someone say that they have good news. I only hope that for my son. He doesnt live at home now - we had to ask him to leave - I want to second guess everything we have done for him so far. He is 25 and I am still concerned about his life. He has a court date tomorrow.
  6. Ephchap

    Ephchap Active Member


    So good to "see" you, and wonderful to hear such a great update ! It's so nice to share when our kids finally turn that corner.

    My difficult child has also turned things around, and has met a wonderful young lady and they have made me a grandma ! No, it wasn't quite the way we had planned it, lol, but I am so very proud that he has stepped up and become a good dad. He bought a condo and the three of them are doing pretty well.

    Don't be a stranger. It's always good to see our "cd family".