Just dropped Oldest off at the psychiatric hospital.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by CrazyinVA, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She called me tonight, another poor me fest, wanting to have dinner with me and "talk." I told her I couldn't help her. I told her she needed to "talk" to professionals... that I didn't know what telse to do for her. I told her I was embarrassed about the way she behaved and the concert, and that I couldn't even trust her enough to be in public with her any more.

    We talked awhile, she admitted to taking 120 pills.. between klonopin and loritab.. since being discharged from the hospital last week. She also admitted to lying about losing a prescription so she could get more, and convincing her boyfriend she lost it so he'd "vouch" for her.

    She admitted some other things, too, which were disturbing.

    She called the intake line, and then asked me to give her a ride, and I said yes, but that I couldn't handle staying there with her through intake. She was ok with that. Her boyfriend wanted her to wait until he got off work, said he'd take her, but she said she was afraid she'd change her mind. So, I took her. She says she's afraid she'll be worse off when she comes out ... i.e., her boyfriend will kick her out and she'll have to go to a halfway house (this would not be a bad thing) .. I told her to just take things one step at a time.

    I'm hesitant to even be optimistic. Too much deja vu. But I suppose each time, could be THE time. You never know. I just keep thinking how complicated she is... the drugs, the Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), the bipolar, the health issues ... but I do know that the substance abuse has to be dealt with first and foremost. I just hope someone there recognizes the other issues. But I can't do the "what if" game, I know that. I have no control over any of it. But .. it just makes me so sad. Besides numbness, sadness is the overwhelming feeling.

    We shall see what happens, I guess.
     
  2. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    You are doing the right thing. She must accept the responsibility of facing up to her challenges - she can not put them in your lap to solve - that just never works.

    Keep leading her to do things on her own. "Yes dear, I do love you but this is something you need to do. I can not help - there really is nothing I can do but to give you advise. It is up to you to follow it. No one can live your life for you, no one can take your troubles away."

    Good luck - stay strong - go warrior mom!
     
  3. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Oh honey.

    Sending all the good vibes and juju that this is THE time.
     
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Virginia,

    For the many many times that I have also wished "that" secret thought inside - please know I'm sending hugs and support, and a new batch of hope. I know exactly how you feel.

    Wishing your baby all the best....and you the courage to endure it.
     
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Sending major hugs and good vibes your way. Hopefully this will be the time she gets it.

    (((hugs)))
     
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Sending hugs and prayers that this is "the time".

    Susie
     
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending lots of prayers and hugs.
     
  8. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    Sending thoughts and {{hugs}}. Wishing you strength and hope.
     
  9. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

  10. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Sending hugs for both of you.

    Suz
     
  11. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Hugs and prayers.
     
  12. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    CIV,
    I believe many of us wonder which crisis will be the "one" that brings the madness we live with to a close. Even if you detach, the sadness you feel for the loss of normal life is often gut wrenching. I try not to let it take me any further than I would if I saw the story about my difficult child on tv and thought---oh how sad. It helps me distance myself from the hurt when that crisis is over and the behaviors remain the same.
     
  13. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well that was a waste of gas.

    She says that based on the number of beds available, since she wasn't going through withdrawal, they sent her home and recommended she see outpatient help. She's going to make some calls. She is NOT happy.

    I suggested she call Narcotics Anonymous, she was looking that up. She is limited as to programs because of her insurance status. Who knows, maybe insurance is the real reason they turned her away.

    Freaking system. Someone finally admits they need help, and is turned away. I've not much hope that outpatient will make much difference, but again, you never know.
     
  14. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'm so sorry, I forgot to say THANK YOU for all your kind, supportive posts. They mean the world to me.
     
  15. goldenguru

    goldenguru New Member

    Oh I'm sorry. What a disappointment.

    The system is indeed frustrating. *sigh*
     
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