Just Found an Empty 'Spice' packet under difficult children Mattress

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by AppleCori, Oct 16, 2013.

  1. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    So mad!

    He's been back living with us again for 21 days.

    I just called his dad at work to tell him.

    Yes, we were fooled again.

    I thought the town had finally cracked down on and closed all the 'spice' outlets, but guess they didn't.

    (tears)
     
  2. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh!

    OK - so now what? Are you going to be asking him to leave?
     
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    Oh boy, I'm sorry. I know firsthand how disheartening that is.
    What if you confront him and he says it was old, and that it was never spotted from a long time ago?
     
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I don't think that they have been able to crack down completely on Spice because the manufacturers just change the ingredients a little each time and then they can still sell it legally.

    I know you must be heartbroken. Each time I found out that my difficult child was lying to me it was like a kick in the gut. CJ is right . . . he will claim it was old.

    ~Kathy
     
  5. comatheart

    comatheart Active Member

  6. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    It can't be that old, he's only lived here three weeks!
    He's been staying in his brother's room (17yo brother lives full time with their mom and only uses his room at our house occasionally).
    And he won't even TRY to pin it on his brother, 21yo knows that would be ridiculous.
    And we cleaned out difficult child's old room back when he moved out a year and a half ago, and it has been repurposed, so can't use that as possible source.

    Dad has warned him several times about not using/bringing drugs into the house. I have been suspicious, but dad has been sure he hasn't been using. Even when dad found a 'corn holder' (the thing that you stick in either end of corn on the cob to hold it while you eat it) in the room with some kind of residue on it.

    As for what we are gonna do about it: Not 100% sure. Dad is at work and difficult child is out 'job hunting'. They will be back at 5pm.


    It has to be either drug rehab or out, though.

    difficult child's mom says she has a plastic grocery bag stuffed full of spice packets from his room when he lived with her till July. They may confront him together.

    Of course, mom had made him go to drug counseling at the end of his time with her, but he didn't stick with it, so I don't see out patient counseling as a good solution.
     
  7. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Ugh!

    I hate hate HATE the confrontations. difficult children just use them to argue that you can't "prove" they did anything wrong. It's not mine or it's old or that wasn't me yadda, yadda, yadda...

    Stay strong!
     
  8. AppleCori

    AppleCori Well-Known Member

    Is difficult child a personality type?
    Our difficult child does the exact same thing! He will argue circles around his dad, unfortunately.
    I'm sure he will come up with some excuse, rationale, or explanation and both mom and dad have a tendency to buy into his story.
    I've seen it SO many times.
    However, they have been doing it less and less as evidence mounts.
    Its not gonna be a fun evening!
     
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    At the very least, there does seem to be a "difficult child profile"...
     
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Well, not quite, but...
    There are "classes" of difficult children, and each class has a particular set of traits... I like DF's term "profile".
    The profile for an Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) difficult child is different than a Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS)/Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) difficult child which is different from MI or SA or...
     
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Oh sure - but even so, there are some commonalities. Such as:

    Avoids responsibility
    Immature / naive / young for their age
    Blames everyone else for their problems
    Lack of motivation
    Disregard for others / inconsiderate
     
  12. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    They have similar ways to get out of HAVING responsibility too. A few of my favorite lies were:

    1. "It's not mine. I'm holding it for a friend!"
    2. "I didn't even know it was there! Somebody is trying to get me into trouble!"
    3. "I was going to throw it away then I forgot I even had it!"

    I heard all of those more than once.
     
  13. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Hmmm.... my easy child has more of those traits than difficult child does.
    Immature - definitely. Socially totally clueless, so he comes across as having disregard for others, but that isn't his heart or his intent. Lacking skills on many fronts, but not lacking motivation... except in those specific areas where school did a great job at killing motivation. You can be a total difficult child and very hard to manage, and not be like your difficult child list.

    easy child... is almost-NT, totally teen and... ALL of the above. But not a difficult child. (if enough additional things go wrong, that might change, of course)
     
  14. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member

    AppleCori,
    Just sending out my thoughts for you and your family as you decide what to do about difficult child.

    Hugs,
    LMS
     
  15. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with your list, Daisy. Yes, typical teen's might also have some or even all of those but our difficult child's take them to a whole new level. Also, typical teen's grow out of them but it seems like our difficult child's never do.

    ~Kathy
     
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