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Just got back from difficult child's apartment
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 493888" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>I've only been to difficult child's apartment twice: once on the day they were moving in and once a few weeks later when I had some spaghetti sauce to drop off. Both times, it was suprisingly clean (but smelled like smoke).</p><p></p><p>I am truly my mother's daughter: I like a clean, clutter free home. When my X left and, especially when my difficult child left to move in with him, I let things go a little ...which ended up driving me crazy. It's easier - for me - to keep it clean than it is to deal with how I feel about clutter.</p><p></p><p>However, when difficult child lived with her dad, she was Queen Slobola! He has a condo and her bedoroom is the only room upstairs and has it's own bath. Here, in our 80 year old house, we had only one bath with a shower and she abolutely HAD to keep it clean. I asked DEX once if the smell of her room bothered him - you could smell it at the foot of the stairs..and I'm talking about dirty clothes and spoiled food, not smoke (BLECH). He said, in his Ostrich way "I'm going to have a conversation with her about it." Which really never happened...</p><p></p><p>When she moved out, he called to tell me that she would not be moving back if this doesn't work out. He'd cleaned her room (why?) and was sickened to discover discarded,used pads strewn about the floor under plies of filthy clothes and wet, moldering towels. He found all kinds of dishes covered in dried food, 1/2 empty peanut butter jars....ick, ick, ick!</p><p></p><p>my t-doctor says that kind of filthy chaos is different than disorganziation and cluttler: it's a sign of depression.</p><p></p><p>My dear mother in law was not at all concerned with clutter, cleaning house or anything like that. But her house wasn't a toxic waste dump either. Normal clutter (other people's clutter!) doesn't bother me. Filth does.</p><p></p><p>Janet, my first Cleveland apartment made my poor parents crazy. It was the kind with a fire escpae outside the window, one big room with a murphy bed (which I still think is cool). In my case, it was a bit of rebellion against my comfortable upbringing....that and my refusal to ask for help1</p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 493888, member: 9175"] I've only been to difficult child's apartment twice: once on the day they were moving in and once a few weeks later when I had some spaghetti sauce to drop off. Both times, it was suprisingly clean (but smelled like smoke). I am truly my mother's daughter: I like a clean, clutter free home. When my X left and, especially when my difficult child left to move in with him, I let things go a little ...which ended up driving me crazy. It's easier - for me - to keep it clean than it is to deal with how I feel about clutter. However, when difficult child lived with her dad, she was Queen Slobola! He has a condo and her bedoroom is the only room upstairs and has it's own bath. Here, in our 80 year old house, we had only one bath with a shower and she abolutely HAD to keep it clean. I asked DEX once if the smell of her room bothered him - you could smell it at the foot of the stairs..and I'm talking about dirty clothes and spoiled food, not smoke (BLECH). He said, in his Ostrich way "I'm going to have a conversation with her about it." Which really never happened... When she moved out, he called to tell me that she would not be moving back if this doesn't work out. He'd cleaned her room (why?) and was sickened to discover discarded,used pads strewn about the floor under plies of filthy clothes and wet, moldering towels. He found all kinds of dishes covered in dried food, 1/2 empty peanut butter jars....ick, ick, ick! my t-doctor says that kind of filthy chaos is different than disorganziation and cluttler: it's a sign of depression. My dear mother in law was not at all concerned with clutter, cleaning house or anything like that. But her house wasn't a toxic waste dump either. Normal clutter (other people's clutter!) doesn't bother me. Filth does. Janet, my first Cleveland apartment made my poor parents crazy. It was the kind with a fire escpae outside the window, one big room with a murphy bed (which I still think is cool). In my case, it was a bit of rebellion against my comfortable upbringing....that and my refusal to ask for help1 Dash [/QUOTE]
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Just got back from difficult child's apartment
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