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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Just had son arrested.
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 615494" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Welcome Deerhunter..... and I do hope your wife will check out the site. Finding some kind of support group in real life can be hugely helpful. We go to a parents alanon group which made a huge difference to me. We are also now going to another group for parents where my son is at. It is so helpful to meet other nice good people who have kids who are drug addicts....it really helps you see that it is not your fault... it just is.</p><p></p><p>I definitely think you did the right thing. Sometimes the court system is the best option although in the beginning that can be hard to believe. My son has been in and out of rehabs that we have paid for..... and he has left or been kicked out. We had taken the stand that we would help him when he wanted help, but not help when he didn't. I discovered through this process that I much prefer him in jail than on the streets....at least when he is in jail I could sleep some!</p><p></p><p>Eventually my son got arrested and into drug court here. He is just 22. We made it clear he could not live at home which was a hard stand to take but necessary. It took awhile, and some time in jail, but they finally got him into a long term residential program that we are not paying for! It is a great program and very strict and it is all on him. We are invovled in the parent support group and go visit him but we are not responsible for any of it! He has not signed releases for us to talk to the treatment team and I have realized that this is on him he is now an adult and so his treatment is really his responsibility! So I dont need to know... although yes I am very curious!! He does have us listed as his emergency contact so that they will contact us if he leaves and that is all I need.</p><p></p><p>At this point I have realized it really has to be up to him and there is nothing I can do but wait and see and take it one day at a time. And really that is true for all of us, including you and your wife. It is a very hard road and one that many of us are on.</p><p></p><p>TL</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 615494, member: 15801"] Welcome Deerhunter..... and I do hope your wife will check out the site. Finding some kind of support group in real life can be hugely helpful. We go to a parents alanon group which made a huge difference to me. We are also now going to another group for parents where my son is at. It is so helpful to meet other nice good people who have kids who are drug addicts....it really helps you see that it is not your fault... it just is. I definitely think you did the right thing. Sometimes the court system is the best option although in the beginning that can be hard to believe. My son has been in and out of rehabs that we have paid for..... and he has left or been kicked out. We had taken the stand that we would help him when he wanted help, but not help when he didn't. I discovered through this process that I much prefer him in jail than on the streets....at least when he is in jail I could sleep some! Eventually my son got arrested and into drug court here. He is just 22. We made it clear he could not live at home which was a hard stand to take but necessary. It took awhile, and some time in jail, but they finally got him into a long term residential program that we are not paying for! It is a great program and very strict and it is all on him. We are invovled in the parent support group and go visit him but we are not responsible for any of it! He has not signed releases for us to talk to the treatment team and I have realized that this is on him he is now an adult and so his treatment is really his responsibility! So I dont need to know... although yes I am very curious!! He does have us listed as his emergency contact so that they will contact us if he leaves and that is all I need. At this point I have realized it really has to be up to him and there is nothing I can do but wait and see and take it one day at a time. And really that is true for all of us, including you and your wife. It is a very hard road and one that many of us are on. TL [/QUOTE]
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Just had son arrested.
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